So, I ran another half marathon. These are words I never thought I would write again after my last half marathon in October of 2014. It has been just shy of ten years since my last half, so how and why did I find myself running another one after all this time, and why didn’t I run one sooner? Well, let me tell you.

My journey with running went from all in to all out over a few years, but ultimately what caused me to stop all together was the onset of an autoimmune disease diagnosis. I’ll spare you the drama of those details, but now that I am older and wiser I can confidently say this was a classic case of “too much.”

Too much running, too much caffeine, too many 3am wake ups, too much stress, too much sugar, so on and so on. My body was in a full blown storm and each run caused flare ups that I didn’t know how to manage at the time.

I took running off the table sometime in 2016 when I couldn’t find a good balance, and when I was starting to dread the idea of running. It took me a handful of years to realize a simple shift in my efforts would allow me to not only run again, but to run further distances. I started running again somewhat regularly in 2021, but instead of trying to be “faster” I exclusively tried to keep my heart rate below a certain number.

Higher heart rate for me = too big of a cortisol spike = a small flare up = anxiety = not fun.

I continued on this low HR, low milage running journey for a few years because I continued to tell myself there was no way I could possibly run another 13.1 without causing problems. Then 2024 hit, I was about to turn 35, I was stale, unable (or rather unwilling) to travel far because I have a geriatric cat whom I adore, so I did what any sane person would do when they need a change.

I signed up for a half marathon.

I was done telling myself “you can’t.” Running sometimes sucks, and it’s uncomfortable, and even a bit painful at times, but those side effects always pass (unless you have an injury which is another story.) What sticks around is the knowledge that we pushed ourselves to do something we didn’t think we could. A half marathon in the world of running isn’t the biggest feat, but for me it was something I didn’t think was going to be possible.

If I can take one thing away from this experience it would be that my brain is forever my worst enemy. I let my fears and anxieties often dictate what I do, but usually when I push myself outside of my comfort zone I come out on the other side mentally stronger for it. I didn’t run fast, but I ran, and I am proud of destroying the mental barrier of “I can’t.”

OK. Gushy stuff aside, let’s talk about the race!

I chose a half in the city of Yakima, about three hours from where I live. The stars aligned with this run because what gave me the final push to register was finding a hotel within a two minute walk of the starting line. Call me crazy, but half the stress of showing up to an organized run is trying to figure out where to park. With that obstacle out of the way all I had to do was put in the work for training.

I did a 12 week training program, the same program I used to run my very first half marathon, and aside from a few skipped cross training days I followed it to a tee. My training had its ups and downs, with a few moved around long runs, one epic meltdown with so many tears I could have flooded an ant village, and a lot of random foods consumed.

Fueling was the hardest part for me with this training, and for the race I brought one of my favorite foods to eat along the way.

I stuffed a bag of mashed potatoes into my running vest because I won’t eat those garbage filled running gels. However, I am terrible at fueling while running and I didn’t suck any down until mile 11. This also happened to be the hottest weekend we’ve had all year, and with terrible fueling and overheating I had a hard time focusing on the beauty of the trail around me after the first few miles.

Hooray for me and my heat sensitivity!

Miles 1-3 were a breeze, I was vibing to Taylor Swift and loving the views of the river. It was still early and the heat hadn’t crept up yet. Miles 4-6 I started to feel the heat and my pace slowed a bit, I definitely started the race too fast and was going to pay for it later, but I was still going strong. Mile 7 I caved and drank some Gatorade which helped for about 5 minutes. Miles 8-10 I was playing leap frog with a woman and telling myself to make it to the next rest stop for another Gatorade.

Miles 11-12.5 I was deep in the pain cave. My hips hurt, my back hurt, the heat was strong, and I was gassed.

Duncan came with me, and I texted him at mile 11 to let him know I was within 20 minutes of finishing. The final push from 12.5-the end was all mental. I felt like my legs were moving through molasses, and thank goodness for this song. I played it over and over and over and over just to keep my feet moving to the beat. Seriously though, what a BOP.

I told myself I never have to do this again, just keep going and the sooner you get to the end the sooner it’s over. I saw Duncan waiting for me about .3 miles from the end, and this gave me the final push I needed. I finished 13.2 miles (course was a bit off) in 2:23 with a pace of 10:52. I went into this run with ZERO goals, zero expectations, but in the depths of my mind I knew I wanted to maintain a pace under 11min miles.

I immediately took my shoes off, sat in the grass, and watched other runners finish their run for about ten minutes before walking the two minutes back to my hotel for a shower. My original plan was to walk around the area a bit before driving home, but the heat was so oppressive we decided to head home early. Sitting in a car for 3.5 hours after running a half marathon was arguably more difficult than the run.

Would not recommend.

It’s been a week and a half since this run, and it only took me 24 hours before I started looking for my next one. It’s amazing how quickly we forget the pain or discomforts of running and want to go through the mental push all over again. I know I want to do another half marathon, I just don’t know when. My summer is reserved for hiking as much as I can, and I don’t want any training to interfere with that.

The training for this was more difficult at this stage of my life than when I was in my 20’s. My diet is drastically different, my energy reserves are fewer, and I have to be mindful of every daily decision to ensure I can train successfully. By the final month of training I was more than ready to be done. It was just as much mentally draining as physically, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

My goals with running now are to focus on better form to help minimize hip/back pain (I have a lingering disc issue I am constantly nurturing), maintain running 3-5 miles with ease, and to keep experimenting with foods to find a good balance. If only I could just eat a bagel like every other runner. I’m stoked I pushed through this barrier, and I’m even more stoked that my 35 yr old brain could care less about being a slower runner.

Shoutout to Duncan for being the lone sheep on the hill waving to me at mile 1, and welcoming me in at mile 12.8. I’m thankful he was with me, and even more thankful he forced me to wear my hydration vest. I’d have been dead without the consistent water. Perished on the side of the valley.

Thanks for reading my journey. Take this as your sign to do whatever it is that you’ve been telling yourself you cannot do. I’m willing to bet your brain is just as much of a liar as mine is at times. This was my seventh half marathon, and it was likely more meaningful to me than my first. For so long I let Sjögren’s tell me what I could and could not do. Alas, Sjögren’s can suck it because it turns out I can still run 13.1 after all.

Q: What is something you’ve done recently that you’re proud of? Let’s celebrate together!