Author Archives: Brittany

• Harry’s Ridge Trail

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on June 14, 2021

  Two Saturdays ago I was at work, winding down for the day with a couple of my coworkers, when one of them asked me if I wanted to hike the next day. Sundays are usually my day of rest, as it marks the beginning of my weekend. I take this day to recovery from the work week, because anyone who has worked any kind of customer service related job knows the first day off is like eating an ice cream on a warm summer day. Sweet, sweet relief.

  As someone who doesn’t manage well with the upheaval of typical routines, I initially panicked at the thought. I normally dedicate Mondays for hiking, but didn’t have anything planned for that following Monday. I wanted to consider this Sunday hike, but my brain went into overdrive as it does when a question regarding something physical is presented.

  “Do I have enough time to rest?” “Do I have enough food to bring that will make me feel well?” “Have I already done too much this week physically?”

  Life with a chronic illness is really glamorous sometimes…

  

  I wish I could be spontaneous like I used to be, but the reality is if I want to feel well I can’t. I have to take certain steps to ensure I am in the right physical and mental space to not only enjoy myself, but to be a pleasant human being to be around. After realizing I felt good, had all the food I needed, and would have ample time to rest the following two days, I decided to go.

  I can be moderately spontaneous…after an hour of overthinking.

  We ventured up towards Mount St. Helens, an area I hadn’t been to since 2015! We hiked Harry’s Ridge Trail – an 8 mile moderate trail with amazing views of the mountain. This area is very popular, so an early start is a must. After a long drive we arrived around 0900 to a mostly empty parking lot. Snacks, water, and sunscreen in tow we were ready to go.

  Did I mention this was also the start of a multi day heatwave?

  

  I don’t manage well hiking in the heat. Or doing anything in the heat for that matter. This was another reason I was thankful we started early. Heat is to Brittany as oil is to water – we do not mix. Most all of the hikes I have done the last five months have been covered by canopies of trees, but this hike was completely open. No shade for the weary (shoulda, woulda, coulda brought a hat.)

  The open trail provided expansive 360 degree views no matter which way we looked.

  

  Another perk of starting early was that we only ran into two other people on our way to Harry’s Ridge. Once we got closer to the end of our trail, there were a handful of others around, but the trek up was pleasantly quiet. We decided to go a bit further than everyone else to have some solace, and to get a better view of Spirit Lake.

  The trail was in great shape, with only a few small snow fields to cross through. Nothing my trail runners couldn’t manage.

  

  

  We sat and savored our view for at least 45 minutes, something I have only recently begun to prioritize with my hikes. For so many years I would power up a mountain without taking in the views along the way, only to sit at the top long enough to eat a snack and snap a few pictures. What good is the struggle of a climb without reaping the reward of the view?

  With that said, the longer I sit and savor – the harder it is to start again. I’m like the tin man from Wizard of Oz needing constant oiling after I sit too long.

  

  

  Around noon we packed up our bags and headed back towards the parking lot. By this time it was so warm outside I started to feel physically unwell. Something to know about me is that unless I am fully comfortable letting my walls down around you, I will never talk about how much I’m struggling. (Unless you read my blog, this is my space to purge my thoughts, and keeping my physical struggles to myself on the daily is a lot.)

  Peak heat triggers fatigue quick, and my Sjogrens likes to come out and play when I am overly fatigued. I’ve been talking about autoimmune stuff a lot lately, but it’s because I feel like I’ve rounded a corner with regard to acceptance. I have been living with this disease for years now, and I have found the balance I need in order to mitigate my flare ups.

  It’s a freeing feeling accepting the lack of control I have, and working with the control I do have.

  

  The trek back was like night and day with regard to how many humans we saw. For starters, we passed a Meet Up group of at least 40 people. Call me crazy, but I would rather hike alone than hike with 40 strangers all with such drastically different hiking paces. Then we passed families, couples, and those who hiked a mile in just to take a selfie in their blue jeans (I’m sorry, I will never understand those who hike in jeans.)

  Once back to the car, I was thankful to have a reprieve from the sun. Aside from my slight discomfort the second half of the hike I had a lovely day, and my pals were great conversationalists. This area of my home state is like another planet at times, and I am continually amazed I live in such a beautiful state.

  I was a zombie on the drive back, and thankful there were three of us so the other two could maintain conversation while I slipped into oblivion in the back seat.

  

  After it was all said and done I was more than happy with my decision to go on this hike. It can be easy to think we know everything about ourselves at any given moment throughout our lives, when in reality we are always evolving and always changing.

  I spent the following day mostly horizontal on the beach, and I’d call that a proper weekend balance.

  Q: Would you hike with 40 strangers?

  

  | 27 Comments Tagged Hiking, Mount St. Helens, PNW

• Leavenworth, Washington

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on June 7, 2021

  It’s no secret I miss Bavaria. Sure – I miss the landscape, and the ease of access to endless adventures, but I also have a soul tie to this state. I worked through a lot of self discovery and growth during my time living in Bavaria, and Germany as a whole is more than just a travel destination for me. I don’t think anyone truly understands how moving to another country changes you unless they’ve experienced it for themselves.

  Needless to say, when a weekend trip to Leavenworth was suggested to me (aka the Bavaria of Washington) I said yes quicker than the blink of an eye.

  

  

  

  Part of the Bavarian vibe of this city are the alp like mountains engulfing the town. I adore the city center, but my soul tie resides in the mountains. Much to my travel partners dismay, I wanted to spend as much time in or around these mountains as possible during our quick 30 hour trip. My compadre was a real trooper.

  Upon arrival we snagged a coffee at the Bavarian themed Starbucks before having a sit by the river behind our hotel.

  

  

  I was immediately transported to the Loisach while sitting here, a river I spent so many hours biking next to, and I can’t describe how wholesome this moment felt for me. I often told people in Germany how similar Washington was to the landscape and climate of Bavaria, and Leavenworth really seals the deal with that.

  I could have sat by this river for hours, and that’s exactly what we did.

  

  

  After spending ample time by the river, and exploring a bit around town, it was time to check into the hotel. While perusing options for places to stay in Leavenworth, my initial instinct was an Air B&B. When I discovered most of the Air B&B’s were within the $200-$400 a night price range, I redirected my search. I don’t love staying in hotels, because I like having a kitchen to make my own meals, but after stumbling onto LOGE hotel I quickly made an exception.

  When you read a review that says: “if REI created a hotel”, you know you’re in for a treat.

  

  

  For starters, the staff at LOGE were all incredibly welcoming, friendly, upbeat, and I immediately envisioned myself working with them. The hotel cafe (which doubled as the front desk) was completely my speed, and I would happily pick up my barista apron to peddle lattes in Leavenworth all day. The ambiance of the lobby was adorable, and I immediately knew I was going to enjoy my stay.

  This hotel has the communal atmosphere of a hostel, but with the class and privacy of a hotel.

  The rooms come equipped with gear for guests to use (at no charge), and this gear can also be purchased if guests decide they like the product. What an excellent marketing technique. Our room had a hammock, headlamp, hats, a cooler, snacks, games, a Rumpl blanket, and more. If you’re a lover of the outdoors and appreciate more of a simplistic sleep environment, this is the hotel for you.

  

  

  Side note: I didn’t notice the hammock wasn’t locked into place, and I definitely face planted after attempting to climb into it. Thankfully it was over the bed.

  This hotel also had the nicest communal showers I have ever seen in all my years of travel. I paid more to have a private shower, but had I been alone I would have gone for the cheaper room and used these communal showers.

  

  Check in complete, it was time for an evening hike.

  When choosing hikes for this quick weekend getaway, I was mindful of a few things: time, location, popularity, and elevation. I wanted to experience the mountains, but I didn’t want hiking to suck up the entirety of the trip. I chose two relatively popular trails, but we hiked them during “off times” to ensure minimal human contact.

  First up: Icicle Ridge Trail – a five and a half mile round trip hike, with an elevation gain of 1870′. I haven’t don’t many hikes lately with elevation, and despite the fatigue I had, the view at the top was well worth the climb. This trail is popular for its wildflowers, and its close proximity to the city center. We saw a total of around nine people the entire two hours it took to hike, and for a popular hike I would call that a win.

  

  

  This hike knocked the life out of me and I was hopeful for a good nights sleep, but I had no such luck. Dehydration, too much sun exposure, and a room that was too hot made for a very poor nights sleep. Nothing a coffee can’t (temporarily) fix.

  After lying awake for hours and having a casual morning, we payed visit to Starbucks again around 0700 before walking through the city center in the empty, early morning light. The day we arrived we walked around in the afternoon, and the town was bustling with people.

  I adore waking up in a new city earlier than most to experience the town before it comes to life.

  

  

  

  What I love most about this city center is how authentic it feels. Traditional German towns are small, with a pedestrian only zone, filled with random shops, bakeries, eateries, and a park if you’re lucky. The small park in Leavenworth was adorable, and had me reminiscing on all the summer nights I’d spent listening to Musik im Park (free park concerts) in Garmisch.

  

  Once the world started coming back to life we packed up our things, checked out of our hotel, and headed on one more hike before making the trek back home. Hike number two had a similar name, but with a very different trail. Icicle Gorge Trail is a 4.5 mile loop with only 387′ elevation.

  This trail is about a 30 minute drive from the city, with some of the most beautiful driving views I have seen in a long time.

  The trail was very mild, a welcomed reprieve from the previous hike. Had I slept better I think I would have enjoyed myself more, but I was so unbelievably tired on this hike. Thankfully I was still able to appreciate the views, and I can see why this is an equally popular trail. Accessible for anyone, this trail hugs the river weaving in and out of tree covered woods into open fields.

  

  

  

  This hike took us equally as long to complete as the first hike we did (granted we ran down most of the previous trail), despite being a mile shorter with little to no elevation. I was wrecked by the end of this hike, but I would do it all over again. I have become much more mindful of my physical activity as I have gotten older, something I have to do in order to keep my Sjogrens at bay, but sometimes the discomfort is worth the temporary joy.

  I no longer spiral when I feel a flare up coming, and I no longer avoid the things that cause them (except food, I try to avoid those triggers 90% of my days.) I cannot avoid life just to keep my body in its happy place.

  

  

  And just like that, the quick and somewhat last minute trip to Leavenworth had come to an end. I plan to revisit again this summer, hopefully with more hikes and more nostalgia. I had been to Leavenworth before, and I knew I would want to revisit after living in Bavaria, but I had no idea how connected I would feel to this tiny town this time around.

  Oh, but I do have one complaint…how the hell can you justify having ONE restaurant with half of a chicken on the menu, and sell it for $20? Absolutely erroneous. Gone are my days of eating half chickens, roasted Bavarian style, for €3.50.

  

  Q: Are there any towns you have visited that left you wanting more?

  

  | 31 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Hiking, Leavenworth, PNW, Travel, Washington

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 8:00 AM by Brittany, on May 17, 2021

  1. 90% of my days I am content with myself, my dietary needs, and my “have to be mindful of everything I do” lifestyle, but the other 10% I get really fu@&ing mad about it. What I would give to eat without overthinking, to push my heart rate over 170 without my body rebelling, or to honor my cravings without repercussions.

  2. Somewhere over the course of a few years my cat started to show signs of aging. By aging I mean he had one white whisker that stood out among all the black whiskers. One day, this white whisker fell out. I correlate this whisker loss with when human children loose their first tooth. So I saved the whisker.

  The white whisker has since grown back, and I find great joy in looking at it.

  

  

  3. When I moved back to America I did not have a handful of essential items. One item in particular was a laundry basket. Instead of buying a laundry basket, like a normal fully functioning human adult would do, I started using a box I had shipped my belongings in as a laundry basket. Seven months later and I still use the box.

  4. I recently spent a full day with two amazing humans who I met while I was living in Germany. One girl lives about two hours away from me, and the other girl, who used to be one of my roommates, was visiting for the weekend. I still struggle relating to anyone with regard to my life living abroad, and spending time with two people who “get it” was refreshing.

  We spent the first half of the day exploring Deception Pass, a beautiful area of my home state I had regrettably never been to.

  

  

  

  

  That last photo has some strong Cliffs of Moher vibes…if you know, you know.

  5. I changed my windshield wipers for the first time in…almost a decade. I’m one of those people who pushes their limits with life. Eating trigger foods, going for a hike alone, traveling to a new country by myself, jumping off a mountain with nothing but a parachute, leaving my windshield wipers on for far too long…you know, the usual.

  My wipers were at the point where they were audibly crying each time I used them. When I was driving solo, it didn’t phase me. When I was driving with another human, it became annoying. With some motivation and help from a pal, a YouTube tutorial, and a trip to O’Reillys – the deed has been done.

  Naturally the entire process was much easier than I anticipated.

  6. DejaVu was in full effect on a recent hike I embarked on. When I chose a trail for my hiking pals and I to explore, I had a feeling I had been there before. Sure enough I had, and I blogged to tell the tale. A lovely, wet 10 mile tromp through the woods with two cool dudes.

  

  

  7. In one month I am taking a two week road trip to Montana and Idaho, and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m visiting Glacier NP, and hiking a bit in the Sawtooth Wilderness. Any and all recommendations welcomed.

  8. When I was younger I spent two summers at Fort Flagler with one of my friends and her family. I remember this place feeling so far away, and it was possibly the highlight of each of those years. I have revisited this area twice in the last month, and it’s just as cool now that I am an adult. Instead of riding a cheap bike in circles around the camp site all day, I now spend hours lying on the beach frying my skin while eating entire packages of dried mangoes.

  Just when I start getting complacent about living where I am, I am reminded of Washington’s beauty. Life is good.

  

  9. I found myself applying to random jobs lately due to some regression in my mindset. I really enjoy the freedom I have working with REI, but I felt the societal pressure to “do more.” Why can’t I just enjoy the flexibility without the pressure to follow societies molding of success? I have since stepped back to remind myself why I choose to live the way I do. #societalnormsbedamned.

  10. I have started running again. This is my favorite confession of the entire post. I never thought this day would come, and to be honest I wasn’t sure if I would even want to start running again. Towards the end of my previous running journey I got complacent. I no longer ran because I enjoyed the run, I ran to keep my body an unnaturally small shape. My running became a chore, an added stressor to my already overtaxed immune system, and ultimately a catalyst in my Sjogrens Syndrome diagnosis.

  So I stopped running.

  Over the last year I have had the itch to pick it back up, but this time for a much healthier reason. Nothing controls my anxiety quite like running. My mornings now start with a short (and slow) run just to shake out my brain crazies, and it makes my day so much better. I no longer care about distance, or pace, or comparisons, I just care about moving. It will take time for me to build my base back to where it was (or maybe I never will and that’s ok), but I finally enjoy running for the pure joy of running.

  

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 24 Comments Tagged Autoimmune Disease, Beach, Cats, Early Morning Confessions, Hiking, PNW, Running

• Ozette Triangle Loop

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on May 10, 2021

  When I was 25 I got lost while hiking. Like…legitimately lost. I will never forget this hike, as it was the catalyst to being more prepared when I venture into the woods. When I was 29 I got lost again. I embarked on a 20 mile hike from the east to the west of Yellowstone National Park. This time it was slightly less intense, but equally frightening. It was inevitable for this Yellowstone hike, the trail was not well trafficked (very few tourists show up to YNP wanting to hike 20 miles into the backcountry), and there were endless bison paths deviating from the actual trail.

  It was a real mind game completing Mary Mountain.

  The point of these two stories is that I don’t like getting lost. I don’t reckon anyone really enjoys getting lost, but I really, truly, hate it. I panic quickly and my mind goes to the worst possible scenarios. I recently went for a hike on the coast that I anticipated would be as chill as an ice cream fresh from the ice cream man. The trail was easy – 9 miles all together on flat terrain forming a triangle with 3 miles in the forest, 3 miles on the beach, and 3 miles back in the forest.

  What could possibly go wrong?

  

  My first mistake of the day was buying a coffee from Starbucks without the ability to control how strong it was. I have perfected the science of a proper coffee to water ratio in order to ensure my blood sugar and my anxiety are both kept under control. I thought asking the barista to cut the coffee with half water would be enough, but let me tell you…it was not.

  4 miles into the hike my blood sugar plummeted so far down I’m convinced Hades felt it all the way in the underworld.

  My second mistake was overdoing my physical activity the days prior to this hike. I was cocky and anticipated it would be incredibly easy, but my goodness, walking 3 miles on loose sand is unbelievably annoying. If it weren’t for my exceptional hiking partner I would have lost my marbles. Low blood sugar, fatigue from too much prior activity, and unstable terrain set the foundation for an inexorable panic when we missed the last corner connecting the triangle from the beach back into the forest towards the parking lot.

  

  But wait, there’s more…

  Mistake number three was not downloading a map ahead of time, and neither of us had cell reception. The 3 miles of beach were hard to quantify because our pace was so slow from the sand. There was no clear indication of where to enter back into the forest, so we continued on the beach despite the fact it felt like we were literally walking for hours. (Spoiler: we WERE walking for hours.)

  By this time trepidation set in. My excess caffeine consumption had induced full blown anxiety that I tried to hide with my deafening silence.

  Logically my brain knew my life was not in danger (which I cannot say the same for on the aforementioned hikes I was lost on.) The problem with getting “lost” on this hike was the idea of having to walk the entirety of the beach all over again, back to where we started. This thought literally made me want to cease to exist. #dramatic.

  

  The tide was slowly starting to come back in, so naturally my mind envisioned being swept out to sea while on this endeavor to find the trail. We eventually took a moment to pause, eat something, and reevaluate where we might be. I had a divine intervention moment and decided to check my map app because I remembered that it still showed the blue dot location even without service. To my surprise I was also able to see the outline of the triangle and suddenly the heavens opened up.

  My cortisol levels were still on high alert, until by the grace of God we found the trail. What was meant to be 9 miles, turned into 14.5, and what was meant to be a triangle turned into…a kite.

  

  We had walked an extra 2.5 or so miles off track, away from the trail.

  Once we found the trail it was smooth sailing. I had a pep in my step again, and the second half of the woods were just as beautiful as the first. I don’t know what it is about loosing the trail, but it instills a sense of control loss for me, and I am a control f r e a k. At the end of the day the hike was mostly enjoyable, the weather was perfect, and I developed an unexpected bond with my hiking partner.

  Nothing brings two people together like fear. #dramaticagain

  

  

  I probably won’t be doing this hike again…ever, but now that I am safe in the confines of my home I can say I had a good time. I cannot deny my crippling overthinking at times, but I will say my trust has gotten better as I have gotten older. In these moments of fear I pray like I’ve never prayed before, and somehow that helps.

  Getting lost is sometimes inescapable. Whether it be on a hike, while driving around a new city, or while navigating life.

  

  Morals of the story: always have a map for trails that are not well marked, trust your gut when you think you’ve walked too far, don’t aggravate your anxiety with stimulants, don’t hike with people whose name start with the letter D (all three of these hikes I got lost on I was with one other person whose name started with a D.)

  Q: What’s your wildest “oh sh!t, I’m lost” story?? I can only hope I never have any crazier than this. I’ve been lost in other countries before, but somehow I don’t panic nearly as much as I do when I am lost in the woods.

  

  | 37 Comments Tagged Hiking, PNW, Washington

• Washington Beaches

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on May 3, 2021

  All my life I have never been much of a “beach person.” If you were to ask me whether I prefer the beach or the mountains, my answer without hesitation has been and always will be the mountains. When I think about the beach I think of hot, overcrowded tourist spots filled with obnoxious humans who don’t understand the concept of personal space. There is however an exception to this rule, and that is a Pacific Northwest beach.

  More specifically, a Washington beach.

  

  A Washington beach has people, and they might even become overcrowded, but something about their rocky shores and cooler temperatures make them feel a bit less…overwhelming. When I think of a Washington beach I think of an overcast day with waves crashing dramatically onto giant beached logs or rocks. A Washington beach is enjoyable during all seasons, but I love the tranquility during the cooler months when less people come out to play.

  I also adore bundling up with a jacket, a blanket, or another person.

  

  I’ve been spending more time on the beach lately, and while initially I thought I wouldn’t enjoy spending a full day lying around doing mostly nothing, these beach days have become a highlight of my week. For the majority of my life I have struggled doing “nothing.” I always needed something to fill my time, and the busy “go, go, go” way of life was ingrained into my system.

  These days I am much better at sitting with stillness and allowing myself to just be.

  The fact of the matter is, when we think we are doing “nothing” we are doing more than we realize. On these beach days I am actively resting after a week of too much human interaction, substantial physical activity, and the inevitable stressors that come with being alive. Most beach days I do try to stay active for a few hours in the morning, but the remainder of the day is lounge city.

  One of my favorite beach days last month was a trip to Fort Worden, an old military establishment with bunkers dating back to WWI.

  

  

  If walking around old, dark military forts doesn’t tickle your fancy, there is a beautiful light house from 1913 at the tip of the beach. I can only imagine the stories this lighthouse holds. I don’t know what it is about lighthouses, but I find them oddly mysterious. Perhaps it’s because they are rare these days, and their origins often date back further than three of my lifetimes, or perhaps I have watched too many movies with old abandoned lighthouses.

  Either way, I find them fascinating and my imagination runs wild with the possibilities.

  

  

  One of the many things I love about Washington is the ease of accessibility to the coast in multiple directions. Each beach is similar for the reasons I listed above, yet slightly different from one another. With each beach you can expect to find a different view, a different type of sand, less or more beach glass, and better or worse hidden nooks to sprawl out while fighting with the sand fleas for a spot on the beach blanket.

  As summer gets closer I look forward to beach days turning into beach nights with some camping adventures. Now if only I could figure out how to include my cat on these beach outings…

  Q: Are you a beach person, or a mountain person?

  

  | 35 Comments Tagged Beach, PNW, Washington

• A Decade in the Making

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on April 22, 2021

  When I first started writing on this small space of the internet, my posts were sporadic and random. I would write about a great run I had, or an epic vegan meal I created, all sandwiched between cat stories and my disdain for higher education. I was young, spunky, and had a carefree zest for life.

  I then fell in love with hiking, and started to learn more about the science of coffee. I became voracious in my studies of blends, pairings, regions, and finding the right balance of flavors for those who “don’t drink black coffee.” I find those who don’t enjoy the taste of coffee typically haven’t been introduced to the right blend for them, like a fine wine.

  I really miss preparing/photographing/and consuming coffee tastings…

  

  Eventually my carefree posts turned more introspective while I navigated life after being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Everything as I knew it began to change, and my posts followed suit. Instead of stepping away from this space when I no longer ate a vegan diet, no longer ran consistently, and had to avoid drinking coffee (aka everything I blogged about), I dove deeper into myself to pull out the nitty gritty thoughts most people don’t want to acknowledge.

  I have spent the last ten years learning about myself, and sharing my journey with whoever chooses to read.

  I have met a handful of lifelong friends through this space, something I would have never imagined possible. I have seen new parts of my home country visiting these friends, I communicate with them more than people I met throughout my childhood, and I continue to meet new people as I continue to write. This has quite literally become a small community for me, and I genuinely adore each and every comment or email I get from those who read what I have to say.

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  I am a simple gal, and I don’t need much out of life. One of the quickest ways for me to feel seen, heard, and understood is for someone to read my words, or listen to my thoughts with a genuine interest. My love languages are words of affirmation, and quality time. For sometime to take the time to read what I have to say, and then engage with me brings such a deep sense of joy and purpose to my day.

  To have a space where I can share my heart in such a raw, and vulnerable way is something I never knew I would need.

  I wasn’t prepared for how therapeutic it would be to write here. I started this blog because I wanted to get free stuff. I wanted to review fun new foods and products, and that’s exactly what I did. Free stuff came my way, until eventually I had companies reaching out to me instead of the other way around. These days I am much less active here, I pop on when I want to word vomit somewhere other than my personal journal, with the hopes of connecting with someone else near or far away.

  There is comfort in community.

  I was 22 when I started this blog, and the amount of life I have lived the last decade feels oddly like a faint dream. I fell in love, had my heart broken, ran six half marathons, switched paths countless times, graduated college, moved to Europe, obsessed over healing my body, worked through an eating disorder, lost my way, and conquered many literal, physical, and mental mountains.

  

  I have fallen, gotten back up, and fallen again. Over, and over, and over…I thank each and every one of you who has come to this space to follow along on this wild journey of life.

  I didn’t anticipate I would be here ten years later, and I don’t know how long I will continue writing on this space. For now I enjoy it, so for now I write. I’ll leave you all with this gift – a link to my very first blog post from April 2011. A young, awkward, excited human unaware of what the next ten years would hold for her.

  I still make that face, I just have a lot less hair now.

  

  | 51 Comments Tagged Bloggers, Life

• Just Go With the Flow

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on April 12, 2021

  This post will be focusing on female hormones, if that ain’t your cup of tea check back next week.

  Those who have been following my blog for a while know I had a long, frustrating run with Hypothalamic Amenorrhea. When I was deep in the struggles of this issue I spent hours online looking for articles to help guide me, as well as articles to help bring me comfort knowing I was not alone. I’ve shared parts of this story before, so I will spare you the reiterations, but in layman’s terms I lost my period for nearly six years.

  My journey to “recovery” was a long one, but after endless research and self advocacy I discovered the “why” behind my missing cycle. I was exercising too much, eating too little, and putting myself through too much stress. A triple cocktail towards chaos. It wasn’t until I finally committed to eating more and moving less, becoming my version of the Michelin Man, that my cycle returned.

  Admittedly gaining a lot of weight was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it was imperative for my success in getting my cycle back.

  

  Badda boom, badda bing – I’m back in business and have had regular cycles for over a year now. Things must be smooth as butter right? I wish I could say yes, but the answer up until a few months ago was a firm no. While I was stoked I no longer had to worry about osteoporosis in middle age (a potential outcome for long term amenorrhea sufferers), I now had the pleasure of lugging around unbelievably debilitating PMS symptoms each and every month.

  I had never struggled with PMS in my youth, I’d get a cramp here or there, but the mood swings, the swelling, the pain, the fatigue, THE MOOD SWINGS…these were all new. I could have blamed this on getting older, but I knew it was more than that. I knew my cattywampus hormones over the last decade needed some help getting back in balance, so I did what anyone who avoids pharmaceuticals does. I scoured the internet for natural solutions to an unnatural problem.

  What I discovered was nothing short of life changing, and I don’t say that lightly.

  

  I want to note I think there is a time and place for pharmaceuticals, and some cases of mental health related struggles are dire enough for this type of intervention, but I personally seek natural sources first.

  While searching for natural ways to get my mood swings under control I stumbled upon Happy Healthy Hippie. I alluded to my success with their Go With The Flow blend in a previous post, but I am so incredibly passionate about this product I had to share more about it. I’m honored to work with HHH in bringing light to this product, because I feel like I have my life back after starting these. I know there are so many other women out there who feel hopeless with regard to their hormones.

  I am here to tell you it does not have to be that way.

  I started taking this herbal blend in January and gave myself a full month before making any judgements. I was immediately convinced when day one of my luteal phase came around in February, aka hell week, and I felt no significant changes in my mood. Not only is my mood more stable during my luteal phases, but my overall disposition throughout the last few months has been much lighter. Granted, there are other factors contributing to my mood boost, but the main kick in the butt has been these herbs.

  

  

  I truly thought my dark mind moments were how life was going to be for me. I was buckling up to accept and embrace the week from hell each month, but I am so thankful I discovered this product. I was initially wary, but figured I had nothing to loose. This is just a blend of natural herbs, what was the worst that could happen? The reviews I read online were all the convincing I needed to try this for myself. Women who were suffering from PMDD symptoms, menopause, and women like me who needed help finding balance.

  The proof is in the pudding (me, I am the pudding). I am a customer for life with this brand.

  

  Happy Healthy Hippie offers a wide range of products, and while I have only personally tried Go With The Flow, I am equally intrigued by Be Grounded, a fast-acting relief from stress and anxiety. If this works as well as Go With The Flow, I imagine those who suffer from intrusive, anxiety ridden thoughts might find great relief from this product.

  If you are like me and want a more natural approach to some of the challenges our fast paced lives throw our way, I highly encourage you to check out Happy Healthy Hippie products.

  After all, what do you have to loose other than residual stress and overwhelm?

  

  | 25 Comments Tagged Balance, Happy Healthy Hippie, Hormones, Life, Sponsored

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on April 5, 2021

  1. I shared my love of cemeteries in a previous EMC post, and the love is still alive and well. I visited an abandoned cemetery recently with graves of people who were born in the 1800’s and it was unbelievably cool. I’m convinced my pal who took me here thinks I’m crazy, but I assure you there is beauty almost everywhere.

  

  

  2. I had my first ever edible at the ripe old age of 32 (sorry mom and dad). It made me extremely sleepy after a few hours, but I have never been so in tune with the movement of walking in my life. I presume this is what The Buddha felt on his quest to enlightenment. 

  3. I recently took a trip to a town I used to adore. The town is no longer what it used to be, and while I am sad about it, I also appreciate change in every way, shape, or form. In typical Brittany fashion, I find this scenario to be like a metaphor for life. At least the lake still looks good, I spent many emotional days running around this lake.

  

  

  4. Last April I started journaling regularly to help me express my emotions better, and I have now been journaling for a full year. What an amazing outlet. I don’t journal daily, but oh boy there is some intense stuff written on those pages.

  5. On that note, I have become so in tune with my emotions lately, while sitting with my cat the other day I literally started crying while looking at him. I have so much love for him it sometimes physically pains me to imagine him not in my life. 94.591% of my anxiety revolves around him having another emergency. 

  

  6. I have been working reallllyy hard to live more of a “good enough” life rather than a “everything must be perfect” life. Life is TOO SHORT TO BE STRESSED OUT.

  7. I busted out my hybrid bike a couple times last week and had one of the best rides I’ve had in months. I had fleeting thoughts about selling it upon my return, but I am so thankful I didn’t. While riding it I had the biggest snot rocket fail of my entire life. It was awful. And messy.

  The more I learn about bikes and different quality features, the more I want to upgrade to the next level in the hybrid hierarchy, but I adore this Cannondale so much I cannot let her go just yet.

  

  8. I go out of my way to ensure I spell someones name right when I am writing it in some form. I also find it somewhat impersonal when someone spells my name wrong. I literally have no idea why I care so much.

  9. I’ve been obsessed with German music lately – German rap, German pop, German folk. I still find comfort in hearing German, and it reminds me of every time I would leave Germany to visit another country. I felt like the odd man out anywhere else that didn’t speak English, yet upon my return to Germany I always felt safe. 

  I have very loose plans (I’ve paid a small deposit) to visit Scotland and Germany in summer of 2022, and I cannot wait to walk around Garmisch without the stress of having to work. 

  

  10. I used to loath the idea of getting older. Being in my 30’s felt like a death sentence, when in reality I am still so incredibly young. Being in my 30’s is like being in my 20’s, but caring so much less about what everyone around me thinks. This new decade of life is like obtaining a free super power, and only those who have hit this milestone truly know what I am talking about. 

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 45 Comments Tagged Biking, Early Morning Confessions, Olympia

• Seasons

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on March 24, 2021

  Have you ever noticed how beautiful the world becomes when a new season begins? It’s as if somehow the earth knew us humans were beginning to get complacent, or unmotivated by a certain time of the year. With the flip of a switch a new scent in the air, or the rise and fall in temperatures brings forth a new perspective.

  I’ve spent all of my years living in places with four seasons, and I cannot imagine living somewhere without them.

  My favorite season is fall, I love everything about a crisp October morning with frost on the grass and sun in the sky. A cool spring breeze follows close second, and summer makes me want to fall in love. Winter on the other hand is the season I find most difficult. Winter is cold, dark, gloomy, and often brings in waves of the SAD’s.

  This winter however, I found myself in surprisingly high spirits. 

  

  Winter hikes.

  Perhaps it was due to the fact I spent more time outdoors than I typically do in the winter months, perhaps it was because I spent more time with other humans, or perhaps it was because just as the seasons of weather change, so too do the seasons of life. I am at the tail end of one season, paving my way into a new one, and this season of life feels slightly more optimistic than the last.

  I became quite good at isolating myself over the last handful of years, a natural response to emotional upheavals. It took me years to notice my behavior, and while I still find great value in spending time alone, I began to feel the pull towards human connections earlier last year. My goal upon returning to America was to put this pull into play by pushing myself to be more social.

  

  Trail rides with fellow bike enthusiasts.

  As an introvert spending time alone is essential, especially with a job like mine where I am constantly engaging (superficially) with others. In contrast, as a human it is also essential to spend time with others – time of connection through shared interests, deep conversations, belly laughter, and daydreams. I’m not good at expressing my “need” for other people, but as I get older I get better at expressing these needs.

  Without the season of winter (or whatever season you enjoy the least), it would be hard to fully value the seasons I love so dearly. Change brings forth growth – growth of life on earth, and growth of life within ourselves. Walking through the more uncomfortable seasons allows for a deeper appreciation of the more uplifting ones. Literally and figuratively.

  The painfully cold hikes covered in snow, albeit beautiful, help me cherish the warmth of spring hiking.

  

  

  As I move into a new earthly season as well as a new life season I have one quote hanging around the forefront of my brain helping me to progress forward: “one day at a time.” It can be so easy for me to fall into the comparison trap of where I “should be” in my life, but really there is no right or wrong place to be. Each job, each relationship, and each experience helps mold us for the next season of life.

  In order to take full advantage of these lessons we must embrace each season we are in. 

  I have high hopes for the spring and summer months to come. I see grand adventures, deeper friendships, newfound knowledge, and further personal edification. I hope to be a source of encouragement for those who are stuck in a stormy season of life. There will always be an end to the storm, as long as we continue walking through it.

  

  Q: What’s your favorite season? 

  

  | 25 Comments Tagged Hiking, Life, Spring

• Things I’m Loving Lately

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on March 8, 2021

  Despite the fact I do not follow a Catholic faith, I decided to partake in Lent this year. I was raised Catholic, but I have moved towards more of a relaxed Christian faith that I am happy with. Still, I have participated in Lenten fasts in the past, but this year was different. This year I genuinely wanted to give up something to challenge myself on more of a mental and spiritual level, rather than a physical one.

  This year, I have given up social media.

  My blog has never been a space where I can escape from reality, so my presence here is “allowed” and encouraged. Instead I have given up Instagram and Facebook, one of which I can easily get lost on for hours looking at photos from strangers I will never meet. Initially I thought this would be difficult. I thought my addiction to the mindless escape of scrolling on Instagram would be a painful missing piece of my mental distraction repitour, but what I have found has been the complete opposite.

  Rather than curling up in a corner scratching at my face for the next fix, I am more present on here. I am more present with myself, I am writing more, and I feel calmer. My eating habits have been more balanced, my mood has been stable, and my sleep has been better. I’ve spent more time reflecting on deep thoughts as well as superficial “fun” thoughts.

  Thoughts that have inspired this post. Thoughts of random things I am enjoying lately. Let’s dive in, shall we?

  

  • I am enjoying wearing a Garmin watch without the obsession.

  I will forever have a soul tie to my OG Garmin Forerunner 110, but he is no longer with us. I bought that watch in 2011, and we made it through many, many runs together. What I loved most about the 110 was the fact that it didn’t have any bells and whistles. No calorie counts, no step counts, no heart rate counts, it was just a watch that turned into a GPS when you asked it to.

  I have avoided a new Garmin because of the bells and whistles. As someone who struggled with an exercise addiction and disordered eating it can be hard to separate from that extra data. If the day of movement wasn’t perfect it was bad news. So I stopped wearing anything, I stopped tracking movement, and I did the unthinkable – I intentionally gained weight and spent many days inactive. I truly believe this temporary hiatus helped me to have a more balanced approach to exercise.

  I now use a Forerunner 45, one of the more basic watches with just the right amount of bells and whistles. RIP to Gary my Forerunner 110 shown below.

  

  • I am enjoying new work skillz.

  I finally know how to change my own bike tire/tube. I’ll never forget the time I got a flat tire years ago. It was my rear tire aka the “entering Mordor tire” with regard to taking it on and off. I was successful in getting the tire off, took it into REI to fix, and everything was going great. Until I couldn’t get the tire back on.

  I accepted my failures and asked one of my neighbors for his help, a neighbor I had never spoken to in my life. I knew he rode bikes so I figured it was worth it to ask. He was most helpful, and as a thank you I baked him (and his family) cookies and gave them a pound of coffee (back when free coffee was up to my neck.) I left it on their porch and never heard anything.

  I hope his wife didn’t think I was hitting on him. Awkward.

  

  • I am enjoying spending money.

  Hear me out on this one…I am one of the most frugal people you will ever virtually meet. I hoard my money like I am preparing for some kind of apocalypse, and it’s honestly a bit ridiculous at times. I rarely if ever buy myself something, and it takes me a long time to justify a purchase unless I “need” it. Although “need” is such a relative term.

  I refuse to fall prey to consumerism, but I have been spending more money on myself lately. Buying nicer hiking gear, buying an extra pair of shoes, the aforementioned Garmin, etc.

  I will never forget something a small southern man I used to work with in Germany told me. We were talking about my frugality one day, and I was telling him about all the ways I tried to cut costs while traveling (like using a hostel pillowcase for a towel, perks of short hair), and he looked at me and said: “you cannot take your money to the grave.”

  Ever since then I’ve been more mindful about letting myself live a little. I can’t take it to the grave.

  

  • I am enjoying my obsession with “Happy Healthy Hippie – Go With The Flow Hormone Balance.“

  If you have been around these parts for a while, you will know I have a bit of a “crunchy granola” approach to most things in my life. I avoid pharmaceuticals, I rarely wash my hair, I spent an entire summer without wearing deodorant, I try to eat mostly whole foods, and shaving my legs is an afterthought to…everything.

  When my menstrual cycle returned after being gone for five years, I knew something was still off. My hormones were ALL OVER the place. Being the professional obsessor that I am, I spent far too much time on the Google trying to find out what was going on, until one day I decided I had to do something because my PMS symptoms were taking over my life. I know that sounds dramatic, but I am completely serious.

  No this post is not sponsored, however it SHOULD be. This blend is literally just a mix of herbs so I knew I had nothing to loose. And let me tell you…I have lost nothing and GAINED some of my sanity back.

  

  • I am enjoying winter hiking.

  I never imagined I would be someone who enjoyed hiking in the winter months. As someone who struggles with Raynaud’s I tend to avoid being outside in cold temps for long periods of time. Not only have I enjoyed winter hiking, my extremities have not fallen off like I anticipated they would.

  

  

  My hiking pals and I took a trip to the Hoh Rainforest last week, a place I hadn’t visited since I was 17. The last time I took a trip to the Hoh was for a team building weekend with my dad and a group of others who were all planning a trip to Mexico for a mission trip. All I remember from 17 year old Brittany’s experience was hating the five mile hike to our camp site, hundreds of thousands of black slugs, and being stuck with people I didn’t mesh with.

  Ultimately the mission trip was amazing, and it was all worth while.

  

  Now that I am an adult, and I enjoy hiking, five miles in (and five miles out) is no big thing. We hiked (or rather walked, this area is very flat) to “Five Mile Island” where we enjoyed some snacks and views before heading back. Lush green trees, mossy rocks, waterfalls, ferns large enough to engulf an elk, and rivers rushing loud enough to lull any white noise lover to sleep.

  Worth the three hour drive, five hour walk, and three hour drive back.

  

  Life without social media feels good. I am reading more, I am listening to amazing music, I am daydreaming about people and places and adventures to come. When Lent comes to an end I plan to be more intentional with my time spent online. Life feels good right now, and I am enjoying this whole “one day at a time thing.”

  After all, today is all we have.

  Q: Have you ever taken a significant break from social media?

  

  | 43 Comments Tagged Biking, Garmin, Hiking, Hormones, Lent, Life, PNW

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