Author Archives: Brittany

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on July 26, 2022

  1. I am writing this post from Duncan’s apartment where the WiFi is like that of my dreams. Fast like a Starbucks lobby, but comfortable like a hug from an old friend. The WiFi at my place is horrid, and often prevents me from wanting to write anything because of how sSSsLLooOwwWw it is. Little luxuries like this keep the world spinning.

  2. I have had the last two weeks off of work for what was meant to be a vacation, but turned into a staycation. For the first week I was irritable, kicking myself for not having anywhere to go after changing original plans, but during the second week I settled right in. I go back to work today and can’t say I am looking forward to it. I’ve been biking, hiking, sleeping, running, eating, staring at the wall, and reading.

  I’m currently reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and prior to that I finished the book below.

  

  3. With this time away from work, my chronic – year long back pain – has subsided during the second week. I am certain that my job has been contributing to my lack of healing, and I am now game planning my next move. No job is worth breaking my body for.

  4. The heat has hit Washington and it has hit haarrdd. Duncan and I went for a mid morning hike recently that should have been moderate to easy, but it felt hard with the heat. I suppose having Covid two weeks prior made it difficult too, but who knows. The views were great though.

  I don’t know which I preferred, the mountains off yonder or the gray jay’s stealing food out of people’s hands.

  

  

  5. I have a possibly unhealthy attachment to my cat. I feel genuine sadness when I leave him for a night or two. I have always loved the little ball of fur, but lately I feel closer to him. Please live forever. Please let me put you on a leash and come with me on hikes.

  6. I have been more mindful of my Instagram usage lately, and occasionally take days off at a time. The benefits I get from staying off of it outweigh the temporary boredom quell, but recently during one of my allotted scroll times I entered a giveaway for some local GF/V donuts I have been wanting to try. Spoiler: I WON!!!

  I was stoked to get a free six pack of their current seasonal flavors. Half of them were more of a miss, but the other half were tasty. Although I still prefer my Brittany friendly muffins from another local biz.

  

  7. Speaking of Brittany friendly muffins, I woke up Sunday morning to Duncan surprising me with one of these muffins. I told him I wanted a muffin surprise someday, and I didn’t anticipate that day being so soon. It was delicious, despite the fact they initially gave him the wrong muffin. We went back to get the right one.

  8. I found a new road to ride my bike on that gives me backroad farm vibes. Maybe because it is a backroad with farms…but it makes me feel like I am biking in an area that warms my soul which is hard to find where I currently live. I rode there three times in the last week, and I think I have finally found my new spot.

  

  9. I miss the spirit of blogging past. When I first started this blog, I met copious amounts of others both online and in person because blogging was a growing hobby for many. I understand the entirety of this type of social media has changed with the onslaught of Twitter and Facebook and Instagram etc, but sometimes I just miss the community these blogs fostered.

  I also adore when those who still read my blog leave me a comment. Like, it legitimately makes my day. Please be a community with me. I need friends.

  10. I sometimes get sucked into the homebody aura that Duncan exudes, and while this is helpful at times it can also be harmful for me. This past weekend we got out of our bubble and went to a brewery for a friends birthday and played card games with six other humans. We laughed until our bellies ached, and afterwards we ate sushi with the sunset.

  It doesn’t take much, but that evening was a complete recharge for my mental health battery.

  

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 55 Comments Tagged Biking, Donuts, Early Morning Confessions, Hiking, REI

• A Weekend Away

  Posted at 9:45 AM by Brittany, on July 21, 2022

  I’ve always been a bit indifferent to holiday weekends. Most of the jobs I have worked don’t have holidays off, and they often feel like just another day of the week. I do love a good Thanksgiving feast, thrive watching my cat run through Christmas wrapping paper, and when I was a kid I felt like an all star staying up late watching Twilight Zone marathons on NYE, but these days I can take or leave most of the lesser known holidays.

  Fourth of July is typically my least favorite holiday. I don’t enjoy fireworks unless I am hot and sweaty after a full day at Disneyland, and I don’t have a big family to aggregate with for BBQ and brews. This year, things were a bit different. This year I am dating a human who works a M-F job, where holidays are a thing. This meant the Fourth of July weekend was a prime time for a weekend getaway.

  So we got away.

  

  Duncan has more of a Type B personality, while I am more of a Type A. This means I like control of the planning process, not that we needed to plan too much for a short weekend away. I made a last minute change in plans, taking us to the town of Anacortes, and this turned out to be such a lovely little reset.

  We arrived Saturday afternoon, and our first stop was to Mount Erie – the tallest mountain in Anacortes. This wasn’t saying much, as the peak tops out at 1300′, but after recovering from my second bout of Covid just a few days prior I felt the 1000’+ elevation gain. We took it slow, and savored the view from the top.

  

  

  After basking in our sense of superiority at the top amongst the other humans who drove up, we made our way back down and headed to our Air B & B. I found this Air B & B two days before we were to arrive, which was literally perfect timing. Someone had just canceled their stay, and the hosts put the spot back up for a discounted price.

  I happened to be the lucky soul who found it – talk about divine intervention.

  This Air B & B was PERFECT. I adored everything about it. It was small, and minimal, and bright, and OPEN, and airy and beautiful. Fully equipped with everything, including a fun couples card game that Duncan and I played. I would absolutely stay at this place again, it was just so wonderful.

  They even provided sleep masks because the skylights brought in so much natural light! Little touches do not go unnoticed.

  

  After dropping off our stuff we headed to the nearby grocery to buy some fooooood. We made dinner, watched some Netflix, played the card game, and headed to bed. The next morning we had a casual breakfast before driving to Whidbey Island for a walk at Fort Ebey. I had found this hike (more like a walk) a few weeks prior, but I knew it would require a weekend trip away as it was too much to drive in one day.

  The drive took about 40 minutes, and it was a rainy, blustery day, but we had a car full of snack and veins full of coffee. The trail was beautiful. Like something out of the UK. My only complaint was the amount of snails. It was like I couldn’t catch a break. If you read my last post you will know I JUST walked a trail where the slugs were endless, and I felt like my anxiety was in overdrive.

  Thankfully my lovely boyfriend hugged me and let me take my time when I had a full blown meltdown.

  

  

  

  

  I don’t claim to have a “normal” phobia, alas it is what it is. We made it out of snail territory and looped back on the beach for a relaxing walk back to the car. We hunted for beach glass, unique rocks, and pretty shells to take home with us. Duncan even got himself an eagle floof. We very briefly went to see one of the old military bunkers at Fort Ebey State Park before making our way back to the Air B & B.

  Duncan promptly fell asleep after eating an early dinner, so I made myself a Brittany friendly meal while watching Netflix and let the gentle giant slumber.

  The following day we were set to head home, but not before one more minor exploration. It was Monday the 4th, and downtown Anacortes was crowded for a parade. We headed to Washington Park for a loop around the area, which turned into more after getting a wee bit lost. Duncan spearheaded us out, and we made it back to the car and back home in record time.

  

  I tend to enjoy a busy vacation, with lots to see and do. Duncan enjoys more of a restful vacation, but he was a trooper and indulged me in my need to walk and hike and explore. This was just what I needed to scratch the itch. A weekend away keeps the wanderlust at bay, even if just temporarily.

  Q: Do you enjoy weekend getaways, or would you rather save everything for a week long trip?

  

  | 10 Comments Tagged Duncan, Hike, PNW, Vacation

• Guillemot Cove

  Posted at 7:00 AM by Brittany, on July 2, 2022

  I mentioned in my previous post that Duncan and I have a plethora of differences. One of the main areas we differ is what we prefer to do with our free time. When I have zero responsibilities the first place I want to go is outside. I want to hike, or bike, or explore a new town. Duncan is more of a homebody and he prefers calm and quiet times at home.

  This was one of the first areas of our relationship where we were able to practice productive compromise and communication – two fundamental building blocks of a healthy relationship. We spend most of our weekends together and try to spend one day doing an activity for me, and one day doing something chill for him.

  So far we have been able to make this work, while also communicating it’s ok if we do things separately.

  

  One of our most recent outdoor adventures was to a very chill, but equally beautiful walking area called Guillemot Cove. I had been here once before, but I hadn’t explored the entirety of it. There are multiple trails that lead into one large cove area, encompassing around 3-4 miles.

  It’s like a choose your own ending book.

  We pulled up to a surprisingly busy parking area, which shouldn’t have surprised me as it was a sunny Saturday. We don’t have a lot of that bright light in this state. We started in the woods, and took our first right taking us down the steepest part of the trail. From the woods we were thrown into an open area of tall grasses giving the first sneak peak of the cove on the beach.

  

  

  Despite how many cars we saw in the lot, we didn’t see too many other humans until the second half of our hike. It was as if Zeus himself was smiting me by bringing the humans out at the most inopportune times. More on that later. Our first destination was the beach – to see the cove, and my goodness it did not disappoint.

  I certainly have my moments of wanting to travel wide and far, but it’s close to home spots like this that keep me somewhat grounded.

  

  We sat at the beach for a bit while Duncan watched three Osprey hover over the thermal vents and dive for fish. While he was watching a live showing of National Geographic I was admiring the surrounding hills feeling waves of nostalgia for other similar landscapes I have visited throughout my life.

  Memories are both beautiful and soul tugging at the same time.

  

  

  After pining over the views it was time to finish the trails. This is where things got sticky. Right next to the beach is a Ridge Trail that climbs up for maybe 5 minutes, and then climbs back down making a loop. I could have done without this trail because there were no views, and at the top there were SO.MANY.SLUGS. I’m talking big, fat, banana, brown – just vile.

  The path was so narrow that I had to walk far too close to them.

  

  Duncan was my knight in green polo shirt on this hike because I nearly had a panic attack. From here on slugs seemed to overtake the trails, live ones, dead ones, tree ones, grass ones, and the people came out of the woodwork making the trails even more narrow to walk on. I can’t tell you how many times I had to walk close to a slimy spawn of satan.

  If you’re new round these parts, I have a phobia of slugs. It’s weird, I know.

  I wanted to show Duncan the stump house, which is what this hike is known for, so I sucked it up and we pushed on. A quick hello to the stump house (essentially a large stump someone built a little “roof” onto), and we headed back to the car. Away from slug city.

  

  After our hike we drove to a nearby state park for a picnic, enjoying the last bit of sunshine. It was a lovely Brittany day, and I am quite certain Duncan enjoyed himself too. Aside from having to hold my hand like a small child when I couldn’t walk over the fallen trees covered with slugs. But hey, love knows no bounds.

  Today we set off for our first weekend getaway since our vacation to Glacier/Sawtooth’s LAST SUMMER. My first mini getaway in over a year. I’ve been a mess of a human for months, and I am so ready to spend some time away from home in a new to me city. Let’s hope we find good coffee, good views, and some good times.

  Q: What’s one of your phobias? Please make me feel better about myself by telling me you also have a really weird one.

  

  | 24 Comments Tagged Duncan, Hike, Phobia, PNW

• Joyful June

  Posted at 9:30 AM by Brittany, on June 28, 2022

  I am a sucker for a good alliteration (hence my corny blog URL circa 2011.) Nothing flows off the tongue quite like two words with the same first letter, and because I have been a bit of a pessimistic pill the last couple of months, I have decided to dedicate an entire post to more uplifting energy. I am trying my damndest to find joy in my everyday life despite the stagnation I feel.

  Not to worry, this is a normal way of existence for me. I don’t like the idea of settling for mundane, so when my life feels a bit monotonous I feel an uptick in anxiety. I have been coping, and there are indeed joyful days sprinkled amid the stale air in my lungs, but they do say you are your attitude after all.

  Without further adieu, let’s list five joyful specks in my life.

  

  1. Duncan. Ohhh Duncan. Where do I even begin? Duncan and I have a bit of an age gap. Erm, a decently significant age gap, as well as a plethora of differences. We had no idea where this relationship was going to go, and somedays we still don’t, but what I do know is that age has nothing to do with the ability to provide proper emotional support.

  Never have I ever dated someone who holds me so tightly when I cry.

  He has been such an unexpected blessing in my life, and I am thankful everyday to be shown what a meaningful relationship consists of. He also sometimes rocks a mustache giving me real Tom Selleck vibes. We celebrated our one year anniversary in April, and I went full high school prom proposal with a candy board.

  The idea was indeed borrowed, but the cringe worthy words were all my own. No shame.

  

  

  2. Hikes with friends. I have maintained a consistent fitness routine throughout the year, but my baseline hikes have been low-level adventures. I embarked on my first higher elevation hike a few weeks ago with two gal pals and I was sore for two days after. I don’t have many people around me that I truly enjoy investing my time in, but every so often a few slip through the cracks and we enjoy an outdoor adventure.

  Plus, I recently watched Grizzly Man for the first time, and have become absurdly afraid of bears. I don’t see many solo hikes in my future for a while.

  

  

  

  3. Torture Device. Aka my inversion table. Out of pure desperation after a year of consistent sciatic pain, I bought an inversion table. I had literally nothing to loose (except some money I suppose.) Nothing was working, I was in constant discomfort or pain, and my quality of life was suffering because of this unwelcome guest always nagging at my nerves.

  I cannot say if this has been exclusively what helped, but for about two weeks now I have had minimal discomfort allowing me to run again. I find this table to be a place of relaxation, and I can adjust how far back I want to go. Some days I only invert a little, and some days I invert more. I am a fan, and I will be keeping this tool in my repertoire.

  Also, shoutout to Duncan for helping me assemble this the day it came. I was extremely overwhelmed by the weight and the instructions, but he showed up at my door without being asked.

  

  4. Running. Running and I have had such an on again off again relationship. Recently I stopped running in attempt to help the above mentioned back issues (herniated disc), but I have been able to start again the last couple weeks and already it has improved my mood. I’m never without a weapon though, because running outside as a woman is always a gamble.

  The sad reality of the world we live in.

  

  5. My baby. Sometimes it’s hard for me to fathom how this tiny being had such a life threatening health concern four and a half years ago. I spent a lot of money to ensure he lived another day, and each day I have with him is now a blessing. He brings me so much joy, and his neediness over the last few years has been welcomed with open arms.

  Except when he humps me.

  

  I am thankful to have these pockets of joy in my life, but I also appreciate the ability to recognize that sometimes it’s ok to feel stuck. I’m realizing this is a recurring situation for me, and perhaps not just a short term struggle. Perhaps this is something I will continue to manage throughout my life. The up’s and the down’s are expected, but the waves feel more frequent than I would like at times.

  At the end of the day I know when I fall into these pockets of life my body is trying to tell me something. Typically a change is needed in some form, and I am trying to figure out where I want to start first. Change is not always easy, but it is almost always necessary. All things considered, I have become quite good at surfing these waves of life.

  Most days.

  Q: What is bringing you joy right now?

  

  | 21 Comments Tagged Duncan, Hiking, Life, PNW, Running

• Your Body Will Thank You

  Posted at 7:00 AM by Brittany, on May 27, 2022

  I recently bought a new gravel bike after months of trying to decide which bike I wanted to purchase. I am as frugal as they come, and the process of me trying to pull the trigger on this bike was nearly as difficult as my cat trying to pass struvite crystals through his urethra. Do I need a new bike? No. Do I get a killer employee discount opening up the world of bikes I would normally never consider? Yes.

  My KTM mountain bike served me well, and she will forever live with me even if her placement finds itself on my garage wall, but I wanted to treat myself to an upgrade. Little did I know that upgrade would come with additional purchases for added comfort. Gone are the days I can just pull a bike out of a box ready to roll.

  I’m convinced no bike will fit quite like the glove that Frosty did. We had a special bond.

  

  I have owned my new gravel bike for two months now, and have slogged through around five rides with her on a bike seat harder than cement. My lady bits and fanny mits have been put through the wringer, and for what? Because I am frugal. I thought to myself: “I already had to buy pedals for this bike, and add a stem riser, do I really need to invest in a new seat?“

  Yes. Yes I did. After going for a test ride with Duncan’s already upgraded bike seat (because he was smart from the start), I felt the heavens open just for me. Suddenly I remembered what comfort was, and the air smelled sweeter. The breeze felt warmer, and my smile felt brighter. Admittedly I didn’t love riding this bike when I bought it (perhaps because my heart will always belong to Frosty), but this seat will be a game changer.

  I can now call myself a biker again…because I will actually want to bike.

  

  Truth be told, I haven’t wanted to bike much since moving back to Washington because there are so few bike paths here. I don’t enjoy traditional mountain biking, so I find myself left with lackluster roads filled with cars who don’t know how to share the space. My longest rides have been 20 milers, and even those feel like a chore. I am confident I will eventually find myself dwelling somewhere with better biking options, and when I do I will be ready.

  With three bikes.

  The decision to buy the bike seat will have my body and my fanny thanking me. My theme for this summer is to be kind to my body, so I made another purchase recently for the sake of my skin. Duncan and I like to go to the beach, but found ourselves scorched on many occasions last summer. Insert the umbrella/tent hybrid. I found the below masterpiece on Amazon a few days before our first beach day of the season.

  It did not disappoint.

  

  

  What a time to be alive, 5 star beach shelters and boujee bike seats. I am hopeful for some adventure this summer, Lord knows I need it. I’m trying my damndest not to rely on Duncan for my source of adventurous joy, because that’s not fair to him. We have different adventure needs (and current goals), and I am learning how to understand that he does not have to be my source for everything.

  Is this what it means to be in an adult relationship?

  With that said, I am currently accepting applications for summer travel buddies. I had high hopes of going to Scotland this summer with my dear friend and her family, but the Covid testing chaos stresses me out. Alas, there is much to see within the United States still. I just need to find my solo courage again, I think I lost it when America became a dumpster fire.

  Q: Do you try to save money anywhere you can? Haters gonna hate, but I didn’t build this empire by spending all my money…

  

  | 26 Comments Tagged Biking, Frosty, Frugal

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on April 19, 2022

  1. Long time no talk. How about a “what’s new” Early Morning Confessions style post? For starters I got a new bike. I actually got a new mountain bike, but then realized I don’t like mountain biking much. I like forest service roads, and I like long distances through designated trails, but I don’t like single tracks.

  Thankfully I bought the bike at REI, and they have a fantastic return policy. So I returned this bike, and bought a new gravel bike instead. Oh, and I also had to order them both online. It’s hard to buy a bike online! The first bike was too big for me, but thankfully my new gravel gal is just right.

  My longest distance with her at one time thus far has been 20 miles. Our love affair is a slow build, as I am still getting used to drop handle bars.

  

  2. Duncan got a new bike too. Same story. Bought a mtn bike, and changed to gravel. We now have the same exact bike. I made sure we got different pedals though, we can’t be exactly the same after all. I now have three bikes, and I officially understand the n+1 problem when it comes to owning bikes…

  3. Speaking of Duncan, he and I went to a cat cafe recently and it was so unbelievably enjoyable. I’ve been wanting to do something like that for a while now, and we started small with a cafe close-ish to home. Seattle has a few bigger cafes we might visit in time, but Catffeinated was a great intro.

  

  4. I have been an absolute tornado in the kitchen the last month. Winter blues always bite me in the backside causing me to feel temptations I don’t normally feel during the warmer months, but it’s worse when I start to feel stagnant. I know this about myself – I start feeling a need for change and when I don’t make a change my brain starts to allow my body to take less care of itself.

  5. Case in point.

  

  6. Legendary Doughnuts was visited after the cat cafe, and inhibitions were down after an hour of kitty time. Duncan bought a dozen doughnuts and I decided to YOLO that day. What I am about to say next will be shocking, so brace yourself.

  We ate all but maybe 2 donuts in one day. ALL OF THEM.

  I know I need to go easy on myself when these splurges happen, but it can be hard to completely let go of food anxiety. At the end of the day I do not regret consuming my body weight in gluten filled pillows of sugar heaven, but it did take me 48 hours to feel like I could function normally. The joy’s of a 30 something with food sensitivities.

  7. Despite my tornado like behavior, I think my consistent activity helps to thwart any drastic changes to my body after these caloric surpluses. Hiking and biking are my best of friends. And Duncan, he is my best of friend too.

  

  

  8. At the end of March I had the stomach flu for 24 hours, and it was the most brutal experience I have endured in a very long time. I would rather have Covid again, than to ever puke for 8 hours straight. The lingering effects lasted for a few days, but I am thankful I didn’t have weeks of recovery like some do.

  9. I have the itch to work a seasonal job again, somewhere in the deep heart of Alaska, or Wyoming. I am not entirely against this idea, but I also have the itch to build a tiny little life in a tiny little space in a tiny little town with my tiny little cat in a tiny little hat.

  

  10. One week from today, Duncan and I will have been dating for a year. I am flabbergasted by this, for so many reasons. Perhaps I will write a post dedicated to Duncan and I, and some of our back story, but for now I say this – I am beyond blessed to have someone like him in my life. Swoon.

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 32 Comments Tagged Biking, Duncan, Early Morning Confessions, Hiking

• Birthentines Day

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on March 3, 2022

  I was born on the 15th of February, one day after the consumeristic holiday known as Valentines Day. As a wee lass, I loved the back to back celebrations. In elementary school this meant a day of Halloween like trick or treating around the classroom giving valentines to my classmates, followed by a day of cupcakes for the class courtesy of my mom.

  Any excuse to cut math short was a good excuse…

  As I got older the traditions continued – a box of chocolate from my mom or from adolescent relationships, followed by a day of celebrating all things Brittany’s life. Now as I inch myself closer and closer to middle age, I find the concept of keeping these two days exclusive a bit…much. Who needs that much sugar after they hit 30?

  

  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good excuse to make a nice meal with a special someone, and this was the first time in eight years I had that special someone. Duncan asked what I wanted to do for Valentines Day, and we both decided on a salmon and Brussels sprout feast. I’m not into expensive flowers, jewelry, or whatever else has been marketed to women, but I did buy Duncan the above succulent from Trader Joe’s.

  I’m one of minimalistic taste, and that white pot with the tiny heart sold me immediately.

  

  For my birthday we ventured towards North Bend for a hike I had done many, many times. In fact I hiked here on my 28th birthday as well. My how time flies. I was hopeful the weather would cooperate, but the higher we got the colder we felt. The rain started to fall as we reached the viewless summit, and my plans of eating a muffin at the top quickly blew away with the chilly wind.

  I had hoped to show Duncan the amazing view from the top, but it was just too cloudy and cold. We decided to make haste and get out of the clouds. I’m thankful he was such a trooper and willing to hike with me in the cold rain. I like doing something adventurous on my birthday, typically a nice hike, and this was a lovely adventure.

  

  Perhaps because I didn’t sleep well, perhaps because of lingering Covid fatigue, or perhaps because I am now one year closer to death, I found myself more tired than anticipated after this hike. Duncan and I were lights out at 1800. How far I have come from the days I enjoyed staying out until all hours of the morning on my birthday…

  With the two days of extra chocolate concluded, Duncan coined the 14th and 15th as Birthentines Day. I quite enjoy the sound of that.

  

  I may or may not have had this balloon sticking out of my hiking pack… (I did.) I did have this balloon sticking out of my pack, and a girl passed us excitedly wishing me a HBD. It’s the little things.

  Q: Do you have a birthday close to another holiday? I will hardly consider Valentines Day as a holiday, but it’s as close as I will ever get.

  

  | 17 Comments Tagged Birthday, Hiking, PNW, Valentines day

• Light at the End

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on February 22, 2022

  The weather in Washington the last few weeks has been a reprieve among reprieves. As I write this the sun is bright and the birds are loud. I cannot fully explain what I feel when I hear the birds start to sing in the morning for the first time after winter (or in this case during winter), but it is a magical moment that takes up a unique space in my soul.

  Don’t get me wrong, by the time the sun starts to rise at 0500 and the birds are screaming while I’m sleeping, the magic is gone. Alas, for now I enjoy.

  The days are slowly getting longer and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. This winter was brutal and I am more than ready to say goodbye. Most days I don’t know if what I am feeling is winter related, lingering Covid fatigue, or my general malaise. It’s a weird place to be physically. Despite feeling a little slower than “normal” I am still enjoying going outside.

  

  One of my favorite activities is walking. I could walk for hours and hours through thick trees, bustling towns, or quiet country roads. I receive a great amount of joy after going for a walk, and I am thankful to have a partner who knows this about me. Duncan accompanies me on walks even when he might not love going for them quite like I do.

  The beauty of a healthy relationship, something that was foreign to me until I met Duncan, is that we don’t always do the things we enjoy. We compromise because we know it makes our partners happy, and vice versa. For me, I don’t love all of Duncan’s hobbies either, but I enjoy trying to learn about them because the joy I see on his face when he talks about them brings me genuine joy too.

  

  We didn’t always have an easy time with this balance, it took time and lots of communication. I think communication and compromise are the backbones of a relationship and I thank God I found someone who agrees with me on this. I suppose this post is an appreciation post of sorts, appreciation for the uplifting weather, and for the person who will embark with me on many adventures to come.

  

  With the nicer weather I am hoping and planning to get outside for one fun activity a week. Either a weekly hike, bike ride, or a walk through the woods. Some weeks I have limited energy and a walk through the woods is more than enough. I am finding that although I am a month and a half post Covid, I still get fatigued quicker, and some days I feel like I am in a constant flare.

  I’m hoping by spring my energy is back to homeostasis. One day at a time.

  Q: Anyone else ready for spring?

  

  | 28 Comments

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on February 2, 2022

  1. I have been longing to sit and write for weeks, but I haven’t been able to get the words onto this page. I can’t seem to coherently form a proper post, therefor I am going to put my thoughts into an EMC post. This feels like the easiest way for me to word vomit back into blog land after being gone for a month and a half.

  2. I’ve been feeling incredibly “off” lately. Typical winter blues you could say, but pair this with the Brittany typical “what’s next” and you’ve got yourself an anxiety cocktail fit for a king. It started with a week of being housebound after a big snowfall giving me too much down time. Ohhh how I loathe down time.

  Winter is meant to be a time of reflection, and a time of pause. I try to remind myself this when I feel like I should be doing more. The stalemates I suspect a lot of us are feeling are completely normal this time of year. Soon enough the spring flowers will bloom, and the birds will sing.

  Until then, I hope to honor this season for what it is.

  

  3. I have amazing coworkers who helped me get to work after the snow hit, and I am incredibly thankful for people like them in my life. At the same time, I am feeling wildly out of place around most people right now. I feel like a black sheep among white sheep, and I am in dire need of a drastic change of some sort.

  The hard part is that I haven’t pinpointed exactly what I need yet.

  4. A few weeks ago I went for a 3 mile run. Nothing out of the ordinary. It felt a bit difficult, but I was able to manage a 10:31 pace. I felt slightly off the rest of the day, but chalked it up to a Sjögren’s flare. I woke up the next morning feeling like I was drunk.

  Spoiler: I had Covid.

  

  5. I have since recovered, and I was only immobile for the first 24 hours, but I still have some symptoms that I have deemed to be typical of most people. While in the throes of being sick my main symptoms were fatigue beyond fatigue (which is saying a lot from someone who already struggles with fatigue), a terrible headache the first day, a 24hr fever, and a lingering pressure off and on for a week making me feel foggy.

  Hmmm…sounds an awful lot like my autoimmune flareups.

  The hardest part was not bouncing back like I usually do when sick. When I am having a flareup, I know what I can do to get back to a baseline comfort. With this, I was unable to speed up the process. I had to wait it out. I still feel more tired than usual most days, and my typical activities wear me out quicker. I am thankful to have had “mild” symptoms in the grand scheme of it all, I know not everyone is so fortunate.

  I am slowly trying to build my endurance back up to what it was before I was chosen as a host for the virus.

  6. Sickness aside, I only managed to go on two hikes in the last two months, and I am certain my lack of outdoor time has affected my mental health. I went for a 5 mile snow hike back before Christmas (a photo of the camp shed is shared above), and I went for a 5 mile backyard hike last week. Last weeks hike was mild on paper, but thanks to the Rona hangover I was tired after half of it.

  

  

  7. I have been spending less time on social media lately. No matter how hard I try I find myself feeling worse after I spend time on any social media platform (except this one.) I deactivated my FaceBook account many months ago, but Instagram has always had its claws in me. I go on once every few weeks, but I don’t want to spend too much time watching other people live their lives, I want to live my own.

  8. Less time online gives me more time in the present feeling thankful. I am thankful for my body/immune system and its ability to fight off gross viruses (I attribute this to my lifestyle, and while I often get annoyed by my autoimmune disease, without it I wouldn’t be so strict with my diet), I am thankful for my cat – he was the best company while I was in quarantine, I am thankful for my family, and I am thankful for my boyfriend.

  Duncan and I grew closer the last month despite the fact we had to spend multiple weeks apart.

  

  9. My purpose with posts like this are to highlight the reality of life. I love sharing my adventures, but I haven’t had many lately, and sometimes life is heavy. I think it’s important to share everything so that we can all remember we are not alone. Life feels like a Groundhog Day right now, and I know I am not alone in this.

  10. Despite everything I have mentioned in this post, I know I am right where I am meant to be. My only goal for this year is to continue fighting the fear I have regarding the world. I sometimes don’t even know who I am anymore. I went from the girl who hiked mountains solo, traveled to places like Italy, Slovenia, and Poland alone, moved multiple times impulsively…to the girl who is at times fearful going for a run out her front door.

  I am hoping some soul searching will help me find my bravery again. Either way I am learning, and either way I am growing.

  

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 25 Comments Tagged Early Morning Confessions, Life, Mental Health, Running

• Speaking Of

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on December 13, 2021

  I debated turning this into another Early Morning Confessions post, but I settled on a “proper” post that will likely still be a bit sporadic. A few things have happened in my world since we last spoke, nothing crazy, but a few fun things I wanted to share with the three people who visit my blog (my grandpa, my dad, and my boyfriend.)

  Speaking of my boyfriend, this cute mountain man turned another year older last month.

  

  

  I was a hot mess in my kitchen trying to bake with butter for what felt like the first time. At the height of my baking days I was plant based, so butter did not cross my lips. These days, I am still dairy free (except for those blue moon splurges when I eat the three day old pizza in my fridge on the first day of my period), so I still do not bake with butter.

  I found it surprisingly difficult to bake this cake, but after what felt like an entire afternoon the masterpiece was complete. Special shoutout to my mom and my cat for helping me. My mom with the KitchenAid, and my cat with emotional support. 32 going on 12 for me.

  Speaking of going on 12, I have grown exceptionally fearful of the world around me. No amount of protection is too much these days.

  

  I introduce to you my new running friend. I first discovered Go Guarded on Instagram, and I knew I had to have one of these mace/knife combos. I am extra alert these days while I run outside, but this tool helps me to feel a wee bit safer. Except for the constant fear of tripping and severing important arteries, but I’m more inclined to explore alone with this device.

  Speaking of exploring, I went bird watching for the first time in my life recently.

  

  Duncan and I went for a wetland walk, and he brought his binoculars with the hopes of seeing some birds. Birds we saw, but the highlight of this walk was a rogue seal who found his way to the inlands for some rest and relaxation. A pleasant surprise on this afternoon of adventure.

  Speaking of adventure, I went for my first snow hike of the season last week.

  

  Before 1/3 of my readers get upset (I’m looking at you dad), I did not go solo on this adventure in the snow. There were five of us who braved the lower temps with the hopes of awe and wonder. I will say, I was not expecting THIS much snow when I prepared for the hike, but thankfully a good base layer and an 850 down jacket kept me mostly warm.

  

  

  I only lost feeling in my digits a few times, thanks to my good friend Raynaud’s. We hiked for around four and a half hours, and managed just under 9 miles. I had hiked the trail to Annette Lake before, but never in the winter. I didn’t recognize a single part of this trail – could be because it’s been six years since I’ve hiked it, or could be because of the snow.

  Speaking of snow hikes, look at this gem photo I took of Duncan on my birthday back in February after a mass of snow fell on him.

  

  Little did we know two months after I snapped this photo we would be like school children in his car after a hike confessing we had weird bubbly feelings in our bellies for each other. Life is weird.

  That’s all for now.

  Q: What’re your holiday plans?

  

  | 38 Comments Tagged Baking, Hiking, Life

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