Blissfulbritt | Page 3

- Kamikaze Kramer
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on June 18, 2020
  
  Kamikaze – “having or showing reckless disregard for safety or personal welfare.”
  
  Yea, that sounds about right. Where do I even being…
  
  Last September, my friend (and former roommate) MaryBeth and I decided to hike one of the mountains behind where we live. As I mentioned in this post, I had been eyeing this mountain since the day I arrived so we decided it was finally time. If you read the post I linked, you will know our attempt was unsuccessful, so we decided to try summiting the mountain from the other side – hoping it would be less scary.
  
  Spoiler: It was not.
  
  Cross marks the summit.
  
  I’ll start from the beginning. The day we gave the Kramer a second chance was beautiful. The sun was shining, the temperatures were warm, and it was a complete 180 in weather from our first attempt. I was feeling good, my body was ready, and I was excited to see a new to me route (the Kramer literally has never ending trails.)
  
  The route we chose this time was a bit longer in distance, but was supposed to be less sketchy once closer to the top. This route also has a well known Hütte called Stepbergalm a little over halfway up, and we had both been wanting to see it/grab a bite or a drink. The day we hiked was the day the Hütte reopened after temporary closure due to the Coronavirus.
  
  Everything was lining up – it was going to be a great day…
  
  Stepbergalm – 1592 m
  
  The hike to the Stepbergalm took us about 2 hours and 20 minutes. The trail up was beautiful and moderately inclined. I never felt unsafe, and my anxiety was low. I was smiling, and singing, and relishing in the beauty of the mountains surrounding me.
  
  I was also savoring this time with MaryBeth. I knew she would be moving out soon, and this was likely our last hike together in Garmisch. She moved to Ulm a couple weeks after this hike, which is just a short two hour-ish train ride from Garmisch. I plan to visit her before I move back to the states, and hope for one more weekend getaway together.
  
  MaryBeth was nothing short of a blessing to me while living in Germany. She was not only my roommate, but my best friend. She got me through difficult times at work, difficult times at “home,” and was an all around amazing adventure partner. We managed to travel to six countries together, and I know we will be travel buddies for life.
  
  Divagations aside, back to the story.
  
  Upon arrival at the Stepbergalm, we sat and savored a snack before completing the final push towards the cross at the summit. The estimated time to the summit was an hour and 45 minutes from the Stepbergalm. I was still feeling great, and was confident we would summit with ease.
  
  And thennnn the rocks got larger and looser and I suddenly regretted denying the use of hiking poles.
  
  This guy died on my birthday in 1930 – is this some kind of bad omen?
  
  Going up with loose rock isn’t usually an issue, it’s coming back down that makes me nervous. Naturally when going up, all I can think about is how stressful it will be to come back down. We reached a section of the trail that was surrounded by trees without any sudden drop offs, so imminent death was not a concern, but I was still getting anxious.
  
  We passed the section of large loose rocks and falsely believed we were in the clear. The path flattened out for a bit, and although the trail was thin, it was stable. We began laughing again, we settled into a comfortable pace, we savored the views we were starting to see, but then as quickly as it returned my ataraxia was swept back under the rug.
  
  We saw the cross off in the distance, but something in my gut told me this was not going to be a cake walk to the summit. The slim path was now becoming a roller coaster like track of ups and downs and the loose gravel was back. I suddenly became very aware of how high I was, and how unsafe I was starting to feel. Kamikaze Kramer.
  
  We quickly learned it didn’t matter which route we took to the top, they were all equipped with a frightening trail towards the final push. Our pace slowed to a crawl, and at one point I was literally immobile, clinging to a large rock. I began laughing, similar to the beginning stages of hysteria, and told MaryBeth I wasn’t sure I could keep moving.
  
  I managed to push past my rock of safety, but my body was shaking as if I had spent all night out in the cold. I don’t often feel this amount of fear when I am hiking, but all I could think about was how one wrong step would send me slipping, and the exiguous trail left me envisioning the worst.
  
  And then, just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse we saw her. The sheer rock wall to the summit. Fully equipped with loose gravel. The summit was surrounded by people, and I wondered if any of them had to revert back to infancy like MaryBeth and I while crawling up the side of a mountain.
  
  I could feel the eyes of those at the summit watching me move at the pace of a sloth, and I wondered if they could sense my fear. If we had been a different species of animal they would have been able to smell my freight from miles away.
  
  We decided to skip the sheer rock wall, and promptly sat at the base of the final stretch. I once again had no desire to “touch the cross” indicating I reached the summit. We had reached the elevation of the summit, and as far as I am concerned we summited. We sat at the base of the cross for a good ten minutes anticipating the descent.
  
  We sat at the base of the cross because we were both too fearful to move back down what we had just gone up.
  
  I prayed for us (yeah, we were that scared) and off we went. I scooted on my butt for the portion of the trail that has a sharp drop with loose rocks, and when I found my way back to my rock of safety I felt relief. I struggled more going up, and MaryBeth struggled more going down. She became immobile at one point, but eventually mustered the courage to continue.
  
  We finally made it back to the first sketchy path just past the Stepbergalm and after seeing the summit I no longer thought this area was sketchy. My perspective was immediately altered. We made it to the Stepbergalm just as they were closing, and our hopes of having a post hike drink blew away with the wind between the trees.
  
  We sat on the hill by the Stepbergalm to eat some food, and to mentally prepare for the two and a half hours of hiking we had left.
  
  At this point I managed to switch my laughter from hysterical to “what the hell did we just do.” I couldn’t help but wonder why no one else I’ve spoken to has been phased by the sketchiness of the summit. Were we the only two people to find this hike terrifying at the top? I never realized how afraid of heights I was until this hike.
  
  Needless to say, I will never hike this mountain again, and I no longer have a desire to hike the Zugspitze (Germanys tallest mountain, which is also in my backyard.) I have realized my preferred hiking is the kind where I don’t feel my life is in danger. I don’t enjoy kamikaze hiking!
  
  Most people wouldn’t be as dramatic as I have been in this post, but these were my feelings throughout this hike.
  
  The views from the “safe” part near the summit were mind-blowing, and the valley where the Stepbergalm lives is like something out of the Sound of Music. I would happily hike to the Stepbergalm again, just to sit and savor the valley, but 10/10 would not do the summit ever again.
  
  As I get older I have become more in tune with my intuition and my “gut voice” when I feel unsafe. This hike had my gut doing backflips like a gold medal gymnast, and I was happy to skip the last 5 minutes of this hike. I regret nothing, and this is now a comical memory I become overly dramatic about when discussing with my peers.
  
  I’ll never forget the Kamikaze Kramer.
  
  Q: Would you need to go right next to the cross to consider this a summit, or would you still feel you completed the hike without the final few steps?
  
  | 29 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Brittanys Life Abroad, Hiking, Kramer
- Early Morning Confessions
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on June 11, 2020
  
  1. There is an old farm house I have passed many times when I go for bike rides, in the middle of a beautiful open field. Every time I pass by, I see a little old German man sitting with his goats. He has a beer in his hand, a straw hat on his head, and weeks worth of filth overalls on his tiny frame. He is the most adorable depiction of Bavaria.
  
  I passed by recently and gave him a quick “German nod” of hello (it’s such a common way to acknowledge people here) and it made my day.
  
  Of course the one time I take a photo, he is on the other side. But also I would not have been so bold had he been sitting there with the goats on his green bench.
  
  2. I am notorious for taking scissors to the back of my head when I start to feel my hair flipping. Quarantine was no exception, and I snipped a good amount of hair from the bottom. It’s never even, and it always looks terrible.
  
  When I finally got a haircut, the woman who snipped my hair was laughing and making fun of me in her native language (I believe she is middle eastern), but it was great. She’s veracious with her gestures towards me, but it’s all in good fun. I have had my hair cut by her twice now, and it’s never a dull time despite the intense language barriers.
  
  3. For someone who used to be so hyper-focused on exercise being a form of achievement, never slowing down to smell the roses, I am proud of how I often approach biking these days. I have to be mindful of my intentions still, but even if my intentions aren’t pure I have no problem hopping off my bike for a moment to snap a photo.
  
  And if I see a cat? It’s game over and I am off my bike for at least five minutes.
  
  Or livestock…basically if I see an animal I have the potential of touching I am off and trying to summon them to me.
  
  4. I don’t eat bread much, or any grains really (unless I want to suffer the consequences), but I have been eating a lot of nut butters lately. They’re hit or miss for me, but I try to put them on something so I don’t get lost with my spoon in the jar. I put them on weird things. My latest enjoyment is smothering hardboiled eggs or potatoes with cashew butter.
  
  5. I have mentioned this before, but I really, really enjoy cemeteries. I don’t know what it is about them, but the peaceful energy brings such stillness to my soul. Sometimes I will go to one near where I live and just sit.
  
  Getting some major fall vibes here.
  
  6. I am a new member of the seasonal allergies club, and I would like my money back. I have never had these before, but I have now experienced the non stop watering/itchy eyes, itchy nose, and intense sneezing. I made it to 31 before the darkness came.
  
  7. When I first moved to Germany, I told myself I would hike the tallest mountain in the country – which happens to be in my backyard. A year and some change later I still have not hiked the Zugspitze, and my interest has faded. Mountains in Germany are crazy, and there are too many sheer rock walls for my liking.
  
  And a Klettersteig? Count me out.
  
  8. I haven’t been to the dentist in over two years. Thankfully I have always had a healthy smile (except for that root canal I got because of an unknown gaping hole in my jaw which turned out to be a mandibular cyst), but two years without a cleaning is too long. I have an appointment next month.
  
  9. My roommate MaryBeth has moved on to her next chapter of life, and I miss her terribly. She is still in Germany, so if I get the itch and the time off I can still go see her, but it’s not the same. I am thankful for all our adventures together, including our last few hikes, bike rides, and coffee dates.
  
  Seen on our ride: “Stay healthy.”
  
  “Happy Easter 2020.”
  
  Final photo with this trifecta, now it’s just Laura (green and blue stripes) and I!
  
  Last coffee date in our room, in a bricki!
  
  10. In my last EMC post I talked about how I cleaned my bike and oiled my chain. This time I talk about how I tightened and readjusted my bike breaks. Me, I, myself. I YouTubed it and fixed them and I feel like a bike boss.
  
  Q: What’s your confession?
  
  | 25 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Brittanys Life Abroad, Coffee, Early Morning Confessions, Germany
- Mind Over Matter to Mittenwald
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on June 8, 2020
  
  I created a mental check list of places I wanted to bike during my last few months living in Germany, and I have officially completed this list. Anything else is extra, and at this point I am feeling a bit ambivalent about biking long distances. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my long bike rides, they have been indescribably wonderful, but I found myself feeling a bit dogmatic with regard to biking.
  
  I had to go far, or the bike ride wasn’t “worthy.” How quickly I can fall back into addictive behaviors that damage both my physical and mental wellbeing.
  
  I am thankful for my ability to recognize this behavior, but I usually have to slip off track momentarily to noice. I went for a bike ride a few weeks ago to a town called Mittenwald, when I noticed my motives for the bike ride were skewed. I didn’t want to bike to Mittenwald so I could see the town, I had seen it twice prior, I wanted to bike to Mittenwald to challenge myself physically.
  
  A physical challenge in and of itself is by no means a negative desire, however the day I chose to embark on this adventure was a day I wasn’t feeling my best. It was a day I should have listened better to my body telling me she was tired, and that she didn’t want to go for a long bike ride. It was a day I ate too much peanut butter with my breakfast – and suddenly my inner food critic began screaming at me to move my body.
  
  I sometimes wonder if the little disordered devil on my shoulder will ever fully retire, or if I will always have recurring thoughts of needing to “make up” for something I have eaten through exercise. I am lightyears away from where I used to be, but I still struggle sometimes. For most people, having a dedicated workout routine is sought after, it’s praised, but for me it can be more destructive for my body because I push too hard.
  
  Alas, the anxiety of stillness kicked in, and off I went.
  
  The ride to Mittenwald was beautiful. I rode on new bike paths I hadn’t seen before, and I felt the surge of energy I get when I find new landscapes. This was great for a while, but at one point the distance of this bike ride proved to be further than I expected. I began feeling fatigued, but I didn’t want to quit. I felt like biking far had become my “go to” while I was on leave from work. What else was I going to do with my day?
  
  Heaven forbid I actually just…rest.
  
  The first time I visited Mittenwald was March 2019. I attended a Fasching celebration that was supposed to be family friendly, yet I found myself terrified by the children running around cracking whips in traditional Fasching masks.
  
  I did however enjoy the most elaborate tea experience including a tea light and a timer.
  
  The second time I visited Mittenwald was December 2019. I came for their Christkindlmarkt, where I drank a glass of Glühwein, ate goulash out of a bread bowl, and split eine bratwurst mit mein Freund. All in less than an hour. I didn’t feel so hot after.
  
  This bike ride was the third time I visited Mittenwald. It took me four hours round trip to bike 37 miles, with 2935ft of elevation gain (kill me.) What I got this day was attacked by the above pictured cat and a raging post bike ride headache. It’s safe to say Mittenwald and I have a love hate relationship, and third time was not the charm.
  
  I love the beauty of the town, but hate how my body feels every time I leave (my own doing. Except the creepy kids.)
  
  I never regret a bike ride, they always show me new places and/or teach me something. I had to learn an uncomfortable lesson on the ride home. I chose to bike back a different route, which ended up taking me higher in elevation than the route I took into Mittenwald. I was annoyed, exhausted, and anxious.
  
  I knew I had pushed my body too hard and I was scared of the repercussions (I really hate feeling out of commission for days.) These thoughts made it difficult to enjoy the surrounding views as I was biking home. I took an amazing bike path, with endless rolling hills, but I was so preoccupied with my mind I had a hard time stopping to smell the roses.
  
  Not to mention my body kept telling me “I told you so” when I was struggling up the hills.
  
  I had to dig deep into the mind over matter thought process to get myself back home. I told myself on this ride, that I was done biking just to bike. I need to ensure I feel well enough to endure the miles, and I need to ensure my mind is well enough to appreciate the discoveries. I don’t regret biking to Mittenwald, but I do wish I had waited until I was in a better physical and mental space before I did it.
  
  My headache lasted nearly 24 hours, which was to be expected (despite drinking extra water.) My fatigue was at a high the next few days, but I made sure to rest. I sometimes forget that I will never be able to live my life the way I used to when I was elevating my heart rate to its max capacity all the time.
  
  I took about three weeks off from riding longer distances after this ride. I know my happy place is somewhere between 15-35 miles at one time. I have also resumed working, which was a choice I made when I realized my two months of LWOP were starting to come as a cost.
  
  I know myself, and the desire to go, go, go with too much free time is inescapable. I either push myself too far, or I fall prey to negative thoughts.
  
  My time away from work was amazing, and I am thankful for all the adventures I was able to embark on in those two months. My plan for my final few months in Germany is to continue biking, but never to force it. I don’t want biking to become my enemy.
  
  This post is not to say I won’t push myself again before I leave, my human nature makes me akratic at times, it’s just a reminder to myself and anyone who needs to hear it that we remember to listen to our bodies more. I think one long bike ride per week is much more sustainable than every day/every other day. 🙂
  
  Q: Do you ever push your body when you know you should rest? I suppose for “normal” people this wouldn’t be a big deal…but I often ignore that my body is not “normal.”
  
  | 26 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Biking, Brittanys Life Abroad, Mittenwald
- 88 Kilometers to Kochel (am See)
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on June 1, 2020
  
  Last April I took a train to a lake in Bavaria I wanted to visit after seeing a photo of it online. Upon my arrival in Germany, I wanted a baseline knowledge of places near where I live that I could visit on a day off. I looked up “must see” places, and Kochel am See was on the list.
  
  Kochel is the name of the town, and “am See” is essentially saying “at the lake.”
  
  When I visited this lake for the first time last year, I hadn’t yet purchased my bike. It took me a couple more weeks to pull the trigger on my trust steed, an investment I originally struggled to make. As I have said time and time again – I cannot imagine my life in Germany without my bike.
  
  A short while after I bought Frosty (my bike) I had thoughts of what it would be like to bike to Kochel. It wasn’t close by any means, but it wasn’t so far that it was unattainable. I tucked the thought into the back of my mind for a looonnngg winter of cold and dreary weather.
  
  As soon as the brightness of spring started to come back, so too did my suppressed “stay down in the basement” thoughts of biking to Kochel.
  
  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to return to visit the lake, it was that the mileage (or kilometers if you’re not a behind the times American like me) intimidated me. The self doubt was running rampant in my mind spouting grawlix like phrases of negativity.
  
  I avoided the bike ride to Kochel, favoring closer/more comfortable distances instead. These shorter, but equally laudable rides were necessary for me to send my self sabotaging mindset to the gutter where it belonged. It was time to destroy the narrative I had created in my mind.
  
  I had two options with regard to biking to Kochel: I could go as far as comfortable and turn around (or worst case if for some reason my bike exploded or my leg got mauled by a rogue centaur, I could take a train home), or I could stay in my comfort zone telling myself “you can’t do it.”
  
  I decided to play my cards with the possibility of seeing a centaur.
  
  I chose a day I knew would have sun, but when I started it was cold. Brutally cold. I wanted to turn around many times, until I made it to an area of the bike path I’d not been before. Something about new territory always sparks a flame in my brain similar to the adrenaline one might feel when lifting a car off of a horse.
  
  And by someone, I mean Superman. And by a horse, I mean anyone in distress. You get the idea.
  
  As if planned, the moment I found a new to me bike path the sun came out. You can’t make this stuff up folks! My doubts were washed away, and I continued to tell myself “you can always turn around.” I know my personality, and I am stubborn as hell so turning around is usually not an option – but just telling myself it was (and believing it), was all I needed.
  
  The path to Kochel was beautiful, as all of the paths in Bavaria are, and I felt rejuvenated in my solitude riding through new to me locations. I made it to the lake and was feeling great (to the lake was about 25 miles, a distance I cover almost daily – so it was nothing new…yet.)
  
  I sat and enjoyed the view, savored a snack, and enjoyed the warm sun on my skin.
  
  Before biking back to Garmisch, I explored some of the surrounding areas as well. I was already there, and knew I likely wouldn’t be back so I wanted to see some other new to me places. I stopped by the town next door called Schlehdorf, to get a closer look at Cohaus Kloster Schlehdorf, aka the town monastery.
  
  I also rode a few extra miles to see another smaller, and much less impressive lake called Eichsee.
  
  After Eichsee it was time to head home, so I settled into the two hour ride ahead. Overall I felt strong, and I felt good. It wasn’t until around mile 45 I started to slow down. I was about ten miles from home, so I took a break by the river and ate the rest of my snacks.
  
  I knew the remaining ten miles would be trance like, I had ridden them many times. I zoned out in an attempt to make them less uncomfortable.
  
  I made it home, and my total milage for the day was 54 miles, or 88 kilometers. I was elated. It wasn’t the distance, or the lake, or the day full of adventure that brought such a warmth to my heart, it was the proof that I AM MY OWN WORST CRITIC. I put this ride off for months because the distance intimidated me, I told myself it was too much for my body, when really I have all the tools to make this activity possible.
  
  The tools for me are different than the tools are for you, or for Sally, or Shaun. Life with an autoimmune disease is unpredictable and it takes attention to detail to make these goals a reality. Proper nutrition, proper hydration, proper rest, and a proper pace. These are boundaries we all have, they just vary person to person.
  
  Some days I wake up and I know right away a 55 mile bike ride (I rounded up) is not an option – and that’s ok, but what’s not ok is never trying because I assume my body can’t do something. What’s not ok is forgetting all the good days I have because I’m dwelling on the not so good (physically) days.
  
  The strength of your mind determined the quality of your life, and my life felt pretty high class after crushing this goal. The lake was not the goal for this day, the goal was to push myself further away from my black and white thinking, and to remind myself I don’t have to go fast – I just have to go. I’ll never know what I can do unless I try.
  
  It just so happened that this day was also my one year anniversary with Frosty. I think we celebrated well, don’t you? 🙂
  
  Q: Can you think of a time you surprised yourself with your capabilities?
  
  | 20 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Biking, Brittanys Life Abroad, Frosty, Kochel, Life
- A Tale of Two Trails
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on May 25, 2020
  
  Is anyone sick of my biking stories lately? Thanks to all the free time I have had the past two months, biking has become a daily activity for me. I am in for a rude awakening when I leave Germany and no longer have access to the biking paths here. I am trying my damnedest not to think about the future lack of trails, and enjoy the current moments.
  
  Last month I went for two notable bike rides, both of which pushed my limits a bit. I tend to get stuck in habitual patterns of what is comfortable, but I wanted to challenge myself so I chose two routes I had done last fall (when I was in better shape) to ride again. One of the routes I never actually biked the entire way, I instead found a hiking trail and walked my bike up the giant hill (twice.)
  
  I was too intimidated by the giant hill.
  
  We’ll start with the story of the easier ride. I typically bike the same path everyday to my favorite area, but I knew I wanted to go somewhere different. I wanted a slight challenge of a hill to bring out my inner “Little Engine that Could.” I decided to bike to Geroldsee, a beautiful lake with amazing mountain views.
  
  Looking at those photos I wonder how this place is even real. I parked my bike at the hut in the last photo, and climbed partway up a hill to get a better view of the mountains behind the lake. The hill to Geroldsee is a decent elevation grade, but it’s never as bad as I anticipate it will be. I don’t rush, I take it low and slow, and this keeps me at a comfortable heart rate.
  
  Something has clicked in my mindset the past couple months, and I have more confidence in who I am and what my abilities are. I no longer feel anxious going at my own pace.
  
  I sat at the lake for quite some time, a little more than 30 minutes, and I let myself get lost in the views. A few people passed me as I sat on a nearby bench, and we exchanged greetings as they continued on the path. I prefer biking alone, but when I see other people out and about it gives me the comfort of being with others.
  
  A woman on a horse also rode by – a surprising, but not unexpected view.
  
  My ride home took me soaring down the hill I climbed, but not before passing by some furry friends. I felt strong, as I often do after I complete something I thought would be hard. I am learning to let go of the perfectionism, which I really tested on my next bike ride – the one with the big hill.
  
  My second notable ride was to a monastery I’ve visited twice. As I mentioned before, each time I had biked here in the past I avoided the long, winding, mountain road and found a back route meant more for hiking instead. The hiking trail is shorter, as it’s more of a direct route, but that also means it’s significantly steeper.
  
  It’s near impossible to bike up the hiking route (for me) so I would always walk my bike up this section. It takes me around 50 minutes depending on my energy, but something in me this day told me to try and bike up the mountain road. I put my perfectionism away (my mind would say something like: “this is a big hill and if you can’t complete all of it you’ll have wasted your effort”), and I told myself if I only make it partway, it is still an accomplishment.
  
  Not only did I make it the entire way, but the time it took to bike up was comparable with the time it took when I walked my bike up the hiking path (and seemed easier.) The road is long, and there were moments I thought I was close when I wasn’t, but it was far easier than I expected. The cars zooming past me were scarier than the hill itself.
  
  Another low and slow climb. Three men passed me, and one woman, but I didn’t care.
  
  I didn’t feel less than because they were faster than me, I felt strong because I was one of them – a biker biking up a big ass hill and not stopping. The pace doesn’t matter, the effort is what matters. The ride up raised my body temperature, and the cool interior of the monastery was a welcomed reprieve. I sat alone in stillness admiring the ornate interior, thanking God for allowing my body to do what it did.
  
  I know I say it often, but it’s my life and something that is always buzzing in the background, but when I get into a balanced groove with my health I appreciate things more than I ever did before. Without the darkness, we can never truly appreciate the light. I truly believe this break from a stressful job has worked wonders for me.
  
  I spent some time foraging for dandelion greens in the surrounding mountains, and couldn’t slap the smile off my face.
  
  The ride down was likely scarier than the ride up because I don’t like going down hills fast. My max speed was 43MPH, and speeding makes me feel as if I’ve lost control. I don’t ride my breaks, but I certainly pump them often. Going down is similar to going up, I go at my own pace.
  
  It might sound silly, but these physical accomplishments have been monumental for me. I attribute my body feeling well to being in a balance due to having limited stress in my life at the moment. I have my days, but sleeping, eating well, and moving my body intuitively is giving me confidence in other areas of my life, not just with my physical activities. I just need to keep the momentum going when inevitable stress comes back into my life.
  
  These two bike rides inspired me to complete my longest ride to date, which I continued to put off because I doubted myself. More on that in my next post! 🙂
  
  Q: Do you overanalyze like I do, or do you have an easy time going with the flow?
  
  | 38 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Biking, Brittanys Life Abroad
- Early Morning Confessions
  
  Posted at 2:00 AM by Brittany, on May 21, 2020
  
  1. I had a temporary crisis when my favorite chicken shop closed its doors for a week because of the Coronavirus. I frequent this shop for rotisserie chicken multiple times a week, and their delicious birds are a staple in my diet.
  
  They have since reopened, and the world is spinning again.
  
  2. I like to travel light when I am visiting new places, and when I stay at hostels (which doesn’t happen much any more, Air B & B for the win) I don’t bring a towel. If the hostel doesn’t provide free towels, I use the pillowcases. Perks of short hair.
  
  3. I’ve done some foraging lately for dandelion greens, and will ride my bike to a field of flowers to pick them. (I could never do this in the states, glyphosate is real y’all.) I wash them, and then I eat them. This makes me feel like a witch doctor, and I love it.
  
  4. I received a ticket in England back in October, for driving in a bus lane. I fought the ticket, won, but was still charged a fee from the rental company. It took me eight months, but I finally got the processing fee back from the rental company. PERSISTENCE.
  
  5. I noticed a mural on the side of the Partenkirchen fire department building while out for a bike ride recently, and I stopped to admire the chiseled looking man in the painting. If all the firemen looked like this I’d likely be arrested for arson. He’s lacking in the pogonotrophy department, but I can let it slide. Only in Bavaria will firemen look like Greek Gods.
  
  6. I also got a ticket in Italy, for driving in a restricted zone (back in September!) The ticket is still in the rental company’s name (they’re supposed to send the place in Italy my information) and I don’t intend to tell them to do so. So for now, I don’t have a ticket.
  
  7. I’ve attempted jogging a few times the last couple weeks, and continue to be reminded why I stopped running. It was a pathetic sight, and it was painful, so I’ll stick to biking. At least my views were amazing.
  
  8. I am a sucker for numbers, specifically money numbers. Whenever I embark on nomadic adventures, I like to keep track of how much money I have pocketed (net income after all expenses) while exploring the world. I came to Germany on a 15 month contract, so these numbers reflect 15 months of life (I stopped counting at the end of my original contract/when Corona ran rampant.)
  
  I honestly only hoped to break even while here (travel ain’t cheap) so any growth in my savings account/IRA/401K is a win! Keep in mind I work in a coffee shop…so we ain’t bringing in the big bills working here. (Hence why a strong savings account is essential for nomadic adventures.)
  
  15 months of income: $25,596.94
  
  15 months of expenses: $18,278.70
  
  Net income after 15 months: $7,318.24
  
  15 new countries, 15 months of non stop travel, 15 months of eating all the food – I essentially made $7k while traveling Europe. (OK, I also worked my ass off, but you get the idea.)
  
  9. I mentioned this in a previous post, but I’ll say it again. I washed my bike…in my bathtub. She was in need of a wash, and I don’t have access to an outdoor hose…so I carried her up three flights of stairs into my room. That first bike ride post wash felt like pedaling on butter.
  
  10. I miss my cat so much sometimes I feel physical pain. I miss my family too, but I have an overwhelming anxiety that he will die while I am not with him. Is this what love is?
  
  11. When I make coffee, I make it in a beer glass. I buy coffee that is finely ground, and brew a makeshift French press/pour over of sorts (without the filter.) I put the coffee into the glass with cinnamon, pour hot water over it, stir it, let it sit, and then pour it. The coffee sinks to the bottom perfectly and I am left with zero waste of a filter, and don’t have to invest in a French press. Innovative coffee making 101.
  
  12. I then dump said coffee grounds down the toilet. I like to think it helps clean the toilet pipes?
  
  (Update: I have since stopped dumping my grounds, but that dumping lasted for weeks. Kein Stress.)
  
  Q: What’s your confession?
  
  | 28 Comments Tagged Brittanys Life Abroad, Coffee, Early Morning Confessions
- Bike, Jog, Hike
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on May 18, 2020
  
  I have a confession: I make poor choices often in my life. I’m learning how to accept this about myself and have compassion, opposed to beating myself up and calling myself a failure every time a poor choice occurs. Often my poor choices are related to my diet and my lifestyle, but I AM HUMAN and sometimes I get sucked into the comfortable pull of what my life “used to be like.”
  
  When I didn’t have to think about what I ate, or the intensity of my exercise, I could just do…what I wanted.
  
  A recent series of poor choices began after I bought a bag of coffee. Coffee and I are not the best of friends, but I have come to accept that I will likely forever try to be friends with her. The problem is – sometimes coffee works, and sometimes it doesn’t. This hot/cold temper of my old friend makes it difficult to fully kick the habit.
  
  It’s very easy for me to fall into the addictive nature of coffee. Coffee to me was never something I drank for the physical boost (although it was nice) until more recent times. When I take long breaks from coffee and then enjoy a cup the energy hits me in ways I then begin to crave.
  
  As someone who struggles with fatigue, the surge of coffee makes me feel like I’m invincible.
  
  I go long stretches of time without coffee, but somehow it always calls me back. After endless trial and error I am learning it’s not just the coffee, it’s often what I pair my coffee with, or HOW MUCH coffee I have that causes an issue. I decided to buy a bag last month and told myself I would ration it.
  
  I drank it two days in a row and felt good, so of course I continued to push the boundaries.
  
  The problem arose on the second day of consumption, when I went for a long bike ride, a 30 minute jog/walk, and a small hike. All three…in one day. For a normal body this wouldn’t be a big deal, but for an easily overtaxed body this was a lot. I have found a decent balance between pushing myself and resting, but the problem wasn’t this specific day of activity, the problem was it left me wanting more.
  
  More coffee/rice cakes (big no no for me), more running, more long days in the sun, more, more, more. The days to follow I kept drinking coffee, I kept trying to jog, I kept biking, and my body started talking. I didn’t want to listen, but after a week of this I knew I had to stop. I am listening to my body better than I used to, but I still make these choices sometimes.
  
  I regret nothing, because this day of adventure was so much fun it was worthy of this blog post.
  
  This day of adventure took me on my bike to Eschenlohe, one of my favorite towns to bike to. I stopped halfway and jogged for 30 minutes (more like jog/walk) and it surprisingly felt good. Once in Eschenlohe, I hiked up to a small church I had seen many times to enjoy a small view below. I also found a creepy cave and walked through it, and the lights flickered off at one point causing my life to flash before my eyes.
  
  It was really a very lovely day.
  
  All of this rambling is to say I’m not perfect (not that anyone ever thought I was) with my lifestyle, and I continue to struggle often. The positive in this is that I am better today with my choices than I was yesterday, and so on. I know drinking less coffee on a stomach full of food helps me to feel “ok,” and these loopholes keep me coming back.
  
  Sometimes it’s ok to be a human being, to make choices you know you might regret. What’s not ok is letting these choices control you or your day. For so long I would be controlled by my actions, and I am still a work in progress, but it’s a progression I don’t intend to quit improving at. I keep shifting, keep trying, and keep learning the best way to honor my body, while still doing things I enjoy.
  
  One thing I no longer do is reward myself with sugar after a long workout.
  
  I continued to drink coffee daily for about three weeks, and I found a good balance of foods to eat with the coffee. I cut out the foods that I know don’t work during these three weeks, but eventually my body said: “YO, please stop.” I also stopped trying to run (Brittany, let this go – you don’t even enjoy running.)
  
  What started as a difficult time of stillness in my life (being on LWOP), transitioned into a time of self discovery. These discoveries are continual, and will shift as time goes on. For the first time since my life started to really change in my mid 20’s I am finding excitement in these moments of discovery. Most of the time. 😉
  
  I’m also more proud of my physical accomplishments these days, and compare myself to others far less. Baby steps.
  
  Q: What is one lifestyle choice you continue to come back to, even when it’s not always the best choice for you? GRAINS ARE NOT MY FRIEND, and coffee needs to be moderated.
  
  | 38 Comments Tagged Brittanys Life Abroad, Coffee
- Hiking From Germany to Austria
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on May 14, 2020
  
  I have driven to Austria from Germany many times, I have even biked to Austria from Germany twice, it only made sense the next step would be hiking to Austria from Germany. I don’t know where the bursts of energy came from for me, aside from the fact I have been diligent in keeping my carb intake balanced, but just a couple days after my long bike ride my roommate and I went for a long hike.
  
  I had wanted to hike to the Hochthörle Hütte since I first head about it last summer. I knew there was a trail along the base of Lake Eibsee so when my roommate asked me if I wanted to go for a hike on her day off I immediately knew where I wanted to go.
  
  View of lake from above.
  
  I assumed the trail (from where we live) would take us TO the lake, where we would then look for the trail up the mountain, however the trail we took never took us down to the lake. The trail instead continued to climb around the lake. I didn’t mind this, as I felt we were saving time avoiding going down just to go back up.
  
  Everything was fine and dandy for the first few hours, it was a beautiful day and we were seeing a new view of the lake. Energy was good, spirits were high, and the views along the way were continually changing. My roommate MaryBeth is my favorite person to hike with, and I always feel relaxed when we’re together.
  
  I felt relaxed 99% of the time of this hike, until the terrain changed.
  
  Unexpectedly, with the flip of a switch, we hit the white blankets of death. I made the same mistake last April of thinking the snow would all be melted, but we’re in the middle of the Bavarian Alps…how could I make this same mistake twice? I assumed the elevation of this hike would be low enough to avoid any snow, but I was mistaken.
  
  The snow wasn’t immobilizing, but it was deep in some spots. One wrong step sent us slipping knee deep into icy sharp snow. I now have a scar on my calf from this hike! We had already been hiking for around four hours, and were very close to the Hütte, so we didn’t dare turn around now just because of the snow.
  
  Our spirits were still high, and we were determined to make it to the Hütte (by this time we were already in Austria, the Hütte is just on the other side of an invisible border.) The snow began to slow us down, and my map continued to say we were 15 minutes from our destination.
  
  It said 15 minutes for close to 45 minutes. Something was off.
  
  By this time it was nearing 1500, and we had been hiking for five hours. We were still doing great on daylight, but we were both loosing interest in finding the Hütte. We made it within 0.4 miles of the Hütte before calling it a day. My old brain would have told me how ridiculous I was for turning around within FOUR TENTHS of a mile, but my current brain was O-V-E-R I-T.
  
  The remaining 0.4 miles were down slippery snow roads, and that’s when we knew it was time to call it. We sat where we stopped, ate a bit of food, and turned around for the ten miles back home. We left home around 1030, and arrived back around 2000. If MaryBeth and I hadn’t had a handful of other successful hikes, I’d say we were cursed to always attempt hikes we had to turn around on.
  
  We hiked 20 miles into Austria and back, and managed to catch both golden hour and the sunset on the mountains, I’d call that a success.
  
  Do I wish we had made it to the Hütte? Of course. Am I mad we didn’t? No. The day was full of laughs and great company, and our sore muscles reminded us of our crazy adventure into Austria…during a travel ban. What can I say, we’re rebels. 😉 (That, and I don’t think it counts as problematic when its in the mountains and you see zero other humans.)
  
  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
  
  Q: Have you ever gotten this close to a destination and decided to call it quits?
  
  | 25 Comments Tagged Austria, Brittanys Life Abroad, Hiking
- Currently
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on May 11, 2020
  
  Life the past month has been interesting to say the least. The hotel I work at closed to the public at the end of March, and I have been on leave without pay (LWOP-by choice/they asked if I would be willing to do this) since 28 March. I could have flown back to the states in the middle of April, but that was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.
  
  I wanted to wait out the Coronavirus storm, although at this point I don’t think the storm will be passing anytime soon.
  
  Financially I am stable, which allowed me to accept LWOP without consequence, and aside from the initial lack of routine (I’ve since created a routine I enjoy) – being able to live in Germany (for free) without any responsibilities at the moment is amazing. The hotel continues to push the open date, and as of right now we are scheduled to open the beginning of June.
  
  Hike views.
  
  Bike views.
  
  Select shops in Bavaria have reopened, and life in the mountains has remained the same. Part of why I chose to stay in Germany on LWOP opposed to flying back to the states was because of the freedom I still have here. I am able to go outside and be active however I please (within social distance guidelines), and I wouldn’t have been able to do that back in Washington.
  
  I’ve been spending my free time doing a myriad of things, like walking, biking, hiking, reading, journaling/writing, watching movies, and reflecting. I can’t remember a time when I was forced to slow down like this, and at first it was a literal shock to my system. I went from 60 to 0 in a matter of days – from a life of non stop travel and work, to a life of stillness.
  
  Bike views.
  
  Hike views.
  
  In the beginning I had days where I feel like I was useless to society, but then I remind myself we are in the midst of a pandemic. Although I am not working I technically still have a job, but even if I didn’t have a job, that would be ok too. I worked hard for my money, and I shouldn’t feel guilty about temporarily living off my savings.
  
  Besides, if I were working right now, I would be doing deep cleaning tasks and I just don’t want to do that.
  
  I trust God, and I trust I will be ok regardless of what’s to come the next few months. I have extended my time here until September, but anything can happen between now and then. I am challenging myself to be alone with my thoughts more which has been amazingly therapeutic and helpful in my growth.
  
  Bike views.
  
  Hike views.
  
  I am consistently meeting with the local chaplain for counseling, and I am loving the progress I have made. Digging deep and working through suppressed trauma has been both essential and helpful. I have a long way to go, but this has been a nice jump start. I am trying to shift my perfectionist mindset from “you’re being lazy by not working” to “you are using this time to grow as a person.”
  
  Of all places to be stuck during a global pandemic, I consider myself immensely blessed to be “stuck” in Bavaria.
  
  Bike views.
  
  I’m challenging myself to learn new things with my free time, and I recently overcame a fear I had with regard to my bike. My bike is officially one year old, and she was in need of some love, so I gave her a bath. In my bathtub/shower. It wasn’t perfect, but I worked with what I had. My chain needed love and lube, and she’s as good as new now.
  
  In the past I had always taken my bike to the shop for a tune up, mostly because I was intimidated by the thought of doing anything myself. The bike shops here were closed at the time, so I decided to do it myself. The chain no longer squeaks of thirst, and riding her feels like it did when I first bought her. Little things like this remind me I am capable of more than I think.
  
  Instead of looking at this down time as a negative, I have shifted my perspective to view this as a positive. I will never again live in Germany like this for free with the opportunity to fully submerge myself in nature. I’m not feeling the guilt of wasting my time off, because my time off is endless right now and travel is not an option.
  
  I’m essentially playing tourist in my own city, visiting new and old places. I am thankful for this time to reflect, and to reinvent a part of who I am.
  
  Hike views.
  
  Journaling views.
  
  I’ve been more in tune with my body the last month as well, listening to what she needs. I’m not perfect, and I still make choices that don’t make me feel my best, but I am having an easier time bouncing back. It helps being able to sleep in until 0700/0800 instead of 0530. Time away from the stressful hustle and bustle that is customer service always reminds me just how damaging it can be to my health.
  
  All of this to say I am doing ok. It took a bit of time for me to let go of my anxiety surrounding the uncertainty of life right now, but at the end of the day little to none of this is within my control. I take each day as it comes, and compassionately bring myself back to earth when I get overwhelmed by the thought of what’s next.
  
  So for now, I will continue with my small routines which include daily exploration of this place I currently call home.
  
  Hike views.
  
  Q: How are you currently?
  
  | 31 Comments Tagged Biking, Europe, Garmisch, Germany, Hiking
- Staffelsee Spin
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on May 7, 2020
  
  Some days my body is so fatigued the only thing that will get me going is a cup of coffee and an entire chocolate bar. I feel so worn out from just existing that my body feels like it has aged decades overnight (not to say there aren’t some extremely spry elderly women!) And some days my body feels good, light, and full of energy.
  
  Two days after my bike ride to Linderhof I had a surge of energy and ran with it, errr biked with it.
  
  I woke up the morning of this ride and pulled open my map. I looked for something close enough to bike to, but far enough that I hadn’t been yet. I found a wetland area I never realized existed called Murnauer Moos and chose this as my destination.
  
  I packed my bag, and set off for an adventure.
  
  The first part of this ride is one I have done many times, and it has become almost meditative for me. Biking as a whole is often something I do when I need to shut my brain off, or when I need to process something. I can easily get on my bike and zone out for hours.
  
  This is sort of what happened on this day.
  
  The only things that brought me back to reality were my stomach pangs, and my need for direction after I left the area I was familiar with. My fuel of choice lately when biking or hiking longer distances has been potatoes, chicken breasts, apples, and hardboiled eggs. I’m amazed at the difference in energy I have when I keep it simple.
  
  As I found my way onto the above photographed road I was in awe of my surroundings. I’ve lived in Bavaria for 16 months, yet I continue to find new nooks and crannies that make me feel like I just moved here. I could have ridden a never-ending stretch of this road for hours.
  
  The Murnauer Moos ended up being a bit further than I expected, but I had all day and didn’t sweat it (didn’t figuratively sweat it, I was most definitely literally sweating it.) I eventually found the wetland trails, and the path was flat and windy with endless mountain views. I was a bit surprised how many other humans I saw out and about on the wetland trails, but it was nice.
  
  After about 30 minutes on this path, I came to a sign pointing in multiple different directions. On the sign was a distance and estimated time of arrival for the town of Murnau, as well as a nearby lake called Staffelsee. Before deciding on the Murnauer Moos, I thought about biking to Murnau/Staffelsee, but worried it would be too far.
  
  Sometimes I worry about going too far from home and exhausting myself. I often have more energy than I give myself credit for, but I also fear overexerting myself because this often leads to an immune flare up. I tend to get so wrapped up in my ride, and I can easily get hours away from home, which means I’ll have to have energy to get back.
  
  I used to hike on empty all the time because I didn’t think I needed to eat food to refuel (what a concept.) I’ve since learned to fuel as I go, but I still worry at times I will crash and then be stuck too far from home. I realize I’m dramatic, but these are the things I think about. These are the things I HAVE to think about.
  
  I get a little less anxious when the world is functioning normally, but with Covid I worry about trains running normally, and the language barrier always makes things a bit awkward. Alas, living my life in fear will get me no where, and when I saw that I was only about 40 minutes from the lake I decided to keep going.
  
  Just around the corner from this church was a trail that ended up being a 3 mile round trip walk to the lake. I was feeling stubborn and my mind needed an official end destination for the day, so the lake ended up being the destination. Despite my aforementioned anxiety about getting too far, I also like to push the limits of my ability because it makes me feel in control of my autoimmune disease.
  
  Not the smartest, but I’m human what can I say.
  
  I made it to the lake, and I have to admit the area I walked to was a bit anticlimactic. I could have done without this extra trek, but I was proud of the distance I covered. I was anxious when it came time to turn around, but I ended up surprising myself with the energy I still had. This tends to be the case, I self doubt far too often.
  
  I rode 45 miles round trip, which is the longest bike ride I’ve done thus far. It’s no Seattle to Portland (which I would love to do sometime), but it’s a start.
  
  1hr 57min is a joke. It took me three hours to get to the bench.
  
  If this ride taught me anything, aside from how beautiful Bavaria is, it’s that I am my own worst critic. I am capable of more than I give myself credit for, and while I do try to honor my body and its needs, sometimes pushing the limits is necessary for mental peace. This adventure came with a cost, and I was one with my bed the following day, but in the end it was worth it.
  
  This is what life with an autoimmune disease is like, we must carefully choose activities, foods, and stressors. If we make a choice we know will result in discomfort we have to accept this and weigh whether the action is worth the pain. I’m still learning to navigate the balance of choosing activities I know will cause me to be out of commission for a bit, but at the end of the day I would rather have one epic day with two down days, than no epic days at all.
  
  Q: Would you rather go a distance you know you can complete round trip, or push your limits and go further than you think you’re capable of? I often find I am always capable…even if it hurts.
  
  | 32 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Biking, Brittanys Life Abroad, Germany
← Older posts

Newer posts →
- Search for:
- BRITTANY- Self proclaimed minimalistic nomad striving to maintain a balanced, healthy life with good food, long bike rides, deep connections, exploration, and lots of cucumbers.
- If this blog does not meet your standards, please lower your standards.
- Contact: blissfulbritt@yahoo.com
- ¿Quieres Más?
  
  Like my witty attitude and delightful charm? Enter your
  e-mail below for the party to come straight to your inbox!
  
  Join 4,131 other followers
  
  Email Address:

Looking for Something Specific?

Search for:
Stalk My Past
Stalk My Past

Blog at WordPress.com.