I am a sucker for a good alliteration (hence my corny blog URL circa 2011.) Nothing flows off the tongue quite like two words with the same first letter, and because I have been a bit of a pessimistic pill the last couple of months, I have decided to dedicate an entire post to more uplifting energy. I am trying my damndest to find joy in my everyday life despite the stagnation I feel.
Not to worry, this is a normal way of existence for me. I don’t like the idea of settling for mundane, so when my life feels a bit monotonous I feel an uptick in anxiety. I have been coping, and there are indeed joyful days sprinkled amid the stale air in my lungs, but they do say you are your attitude after all.
Without further adieu, let’s list five joyful specks in my life.
1. Duncan. Ohhh Duncan. Where do I even begin? Duncan and I have a bit of an age gap. Erm, a decently significant age gap, as well as a plethora of differences. We had no idea where this relationship was going to go, and somedays we still don’t, but what I do know is that age has nothing to do with the ability to provide proper emotional support.
Never have I ever dated someone who holds me so tightly when I cry.
He has been such an unexpected blessing in my life, and I am thankful everyday to be shown what a meaningful relationship consists of. He also sometimes rocks a mustache giving me real Tom Selleck vibes. We celebrated our one year anniversary in April, and I went full high school prom proposal with a candy board.
The idea was indeed borrowed, but the cringe worthy words were all my own. No shame.
2. Hikes with friends. I have maintained a consistent fitness routine throughout the year, but my baseline hikes have been low-level adventures. I embarked on my first higher elevation hike a few weeks ago with two gal pals and I was sore for two days after. I don’t have many people around me that I truly enjoy investing my time in, but every so often a few slip through the cracks and we enjoy an outdoor adventure.
Plus, I recently watched Grizzly Man for the first time, and have become absurdly afraid of bears. I don’t see many solo hikes in my future for a while.
3. Torture Device. Aka my inversion table. Out of pure desperation after a year of consistent sciatic pain, I bought an inversion table. I had literally nothing to loose (except some money I suppose.) Nothing was working, I was in constant discomfort or pain, and my quality of life was suffering because of this unwelcome guest always nagging at my nerves.
I cannot say if this has been exclusively what helped, but for about two weeks now I have had minimal discomfort allowing me to run again. I find this table to be a place of relaxation, and I can adjust how far back I want to go. Some days I only invert a little, and some days I invert more. I am a fan, and I will be keeping this tool in my repertoire.
Also, shoutout to Duncan for helping me assemble this the day it came. I was extremely overwhelmed by the weight and the instructions, but he showed up at my door without being asked.
4. Running. Running and I have had such an on again off again relationship. Recently I stopped running in attempt to help the above mentioned back issues (herniated disc), but I have been able to start again the last couple weeks and already it has improved my mood. I’m never without a weapon though, because running outside as a woman is always a gamble.
The sad reality of the world we live in.
5. My baby. Sometimes it’s hard for me to fathom how this tiny being had such a life threatening health concern four and a half years ago. I spent a lot of money to ensure he lived another day, and each day I have with him is now a blessing. He brings me so much joy, and his neediness over the last few years has been welcomed with open arms.
Except when he humps me.
I am thankful to have these pockets of joy in my life, but I also appreciate the ability to recognize that sometimes it’s ok to feel stuck. I’m realizing this is a recurring situation for me, and perhaps not just a short term struggle. Perhaps this is something I will continue to manage throughout my life. The up’s and the down’s are expected, but the waves feel more frequent than I would like at times.
At the end of the day I know when I fall into these pockets of life my body is trying to tell me something. Typically a change is needed in some form, and I am trying to figure out where I want to start first. Change is not always easy, but it is almost always necessary. All things considered, I have become quite good at surfing these waves of life.
Q: What is bringing you joy right now?