Tag: Hiking

• Glacier National Park – Pt. 1

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on July 7, 2021

  I tend to have a Type A personality when it comes to traveling. That’s not to say I haven’t taken handfuls of trips where I have shown up in a new city, planning the day as I go, but for the most part I like to choose what I want to see and where I want to go before I embark on a new adventure. I think it’s important to have a balance between both Type A and Type B, and I do my best to be more relaxed when things don’t go according to plan.

  With that said, you can imagine the spike of cortisol I felt when I discovered just days prior to my well planned trip to Glacier National Park, that a new entry system had been put into effect starting this summer. In order to enter the West Gate between regular park hours (0600-1700) I would need a special entry ticket. These tickets are available online one day at a time, 60 days prior to the week of entry, with 25% of tickets available every day for that succeeding week.

  Needless to say, I did not have a ticket.

  

  The odds of getting one of the elusive online tickets is much like finding Willy Wonka’s golden ticket in a chocolate bar – nearly impossible. My copilot and I tried for days to get a pass for the week, failing each time. Thankfully there was another option. Anyone can enter the park before 0600 or after 1700, but having a ticket would have eliminated some of the stress of waking up at 0300.

  My days of being a barista came in handy when my alarm went off before the birds began to sing.

  We decided to stay in an Airbnb in Kalispell, Montana, putting us about 45-60 minutes away from the West Glacier entrance. Our first day in the park we planned to arrive at the gate by 0400 to ensure we could get in. Despite the fact I knew exactly what the ranger stations looked like after hours, as I had driven in and out of Yellowstone many times during these hours, I was nervous something would go wrong and we would not be allowed in.

  

  Arriving at the gate with no other cars in sight and driving through the unoccupied ranger booth oddly felt like I was committing a crime (I wasn’t, this is totally legal.) I felt like an outlaw entering into foreign, inaccessible territory. I also felt relief, because the hard part was done. We made it inside, and we had no plans to leave until we were satisfied with our hiking endeavors for the day.

  Arriving before the sun came up turned out to be the best decision we could have made. By the time we got to the parking area for our first hike, the lot had filled up. One of the trails on my list was Avalanche Lake, a very popular and easy 5 mile out and back hike to a beautiful engulfed mountain lake. The hike up was quiet, and per usual the hike back we saw the rest of the world had come to life.

  If there is anything I love about early hikes, it’s beating the crowds (and the heat.)

  

  We made it to the lake by 0530, and we were the only ones there for at least ten minutes. We sat, stared, and savored for about 30 minutes before heading back to the car. I don’t have anything crazy to report about this hike, it was beautiful and is a worthy hike, but it wasn’t anything that knocked my socks off.

  

  

  With so much day left after this hike, we decided to do another one. Our options were limited because the main road within the park was still closed from the winter season, so we chose one I hadn’t heard of. Here’s an example of how I can be a cool kid, sprinkling my Type B personality all over the place. Hike number two was significantly more difficult, partly because we woke up at 3 am, partly because we had already hiked 5 miles, partly because by the time we started it was already VERY hot outside, and partly because the elevation gain was 1860′.

  Apgar Lookout is a 7 mile out and back trail, starting in thick tree brush and opening into an exposed trail with expansive views. I loved this trail, and surprisingly felt great the entire way up. Slow and steady wins the race, especially when the sun gives no mercy to us cloud loving Washingtonians.

  

  

  This trail was much less traveled, and we didn’t see anyone until we got closer to the top. The most memorable being a mom and her son literally running up the mountain. Running…up. We saw more people when we were coming back down, but far less than the previous hike. This one is a harder trail, meaning less people are inclined to hike it. What sold me on this trail was the lookout at the top. I am a sucker for a good lookout hike.

  After reaching the top we sat on the lookout and savored the view with some squirrel friends.

  

  

  By the time we got back to the car we had clocked over 12 miles for the day, and I was very pleased with our first of two days in the park. We drove as much as we could for a little bit longer before deciding to call it a day around 1400. It was too hot to do much more outside. We managed to see one bear for the day, immediately after we drove into the park around 0400. No bears spotted on the trails though.

  I am incredibly thankful my partner in crime was up for two hikes in one day. We didn’t have a lot of time to visit Glacier, and with the 0300 wake up in order to get in I knew we would only get one more day after this one. The extra exploration made me very, very happy.

  

  

  We spent the next day resting and reevaluating what our second day would look like. Thankfully most of the other entrances did not require an entrance ticket, but they were significantly further away from our Airbnb. Nothing worth having comes easy, right?

  Q: Are you a planner, or a go with the flow-er. I do like a plan, but there is certainly beauty in readjusting plans to accommodate for ideas I might not have considered.

  

  | 31 Comments Tagged Glacier National Park, Hiking, Montana, National Park

• Harry’s Ridge Trail

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on June 14, 2021

  Two Saturdays ago I was at work, winding down for the day with a couple of my coworkers, when one of them asked me if I wanted to hike the next day. Sundays are usually my day of rest, as it marks the beginning of my weekend. I take this day to recover from the work week, because anyone who has worked any kind of customer service related job knows the first day off is like eating an ice cream on a warm summer day. Sweet, sweet relief.

  As someone who doesn’t manage well with the upheaval of typical routines, I initially panicked at the thought. I normally dedicate Mondays for hiking, but didn’t have anything planned for that following Monday. I wanted to consider this Sunday hike, but my brain went into overdrive as it does when a question regarding something physical is presented.

  “Do I have enough time to rest?” “Do I have enough food to bring that will make me feel well?” “Have I already done too much this week physically?”

  Life with a chronic illness is really glamorous sometimes…

  

  I wish I could be spontaneous like I used to be, but the reality is if I want to feel well I can’t. I have to take certain steps to ensure I am in the right physical and mental space to not only enjoy myself, but to be a pleasant human being to be around. After realizing I felt good, had all the food I needed, and would have ample time to rest the following two days, I decided to go.

  I can be moderately spontaneous…after an hour of overthinking.

  We ventured up towards Mount St. Helens, an area I hadn’t been to since 2015! We hiked Harry’s Ridge Trail – an 8 mile moderate trail with amazing views of the mountain. This area is very popular, so an early start is a must. After a long drive we arrived around 0900 to a mostly empty parking lot. Snacks, water, and sunscreen in tow we were ready to go.

  Did I mention this was also the start of a multi day heatwave?

  

  I don’t manage well hiking in the heat. Or doing anything in the heat for that matter. This was another reason I was thankful we started early. Heat is to Brittany as oil is to water – we do not mix. Most all of the hikes I have done the last five months have been covered by canopies of trees, but this hike was completely open. No shade for the weary (shoulda, woulda, coulda brought a hat.)

  The open trail provided expansive 360 degree views no matter which way we looked.

  

  Another perk of starting early was that we only ran into two other people on our way to Harry’s Ridge. Once we got closer to the end of our trail, there were a handful of others around, but the trek up was pleasantly quiet. We decided to go a bit further than everyone else to have some solace, and to get a better view of Spirit Lake.

  The trail was in great shape, with only a few small snow fields to cross through. Nothing my trail runners couldn’t manage.

  

  

  We sat and savored our view for at least 45 minutes, something I have only recently begun to prioritize with my hikes. For so many years I would power up a mountain without taking in the views along the way, only to sit at the top long enough to eat a snack and snap a few pictures. What good is the struggle of a climb without reaping the reward of the view?

  With that said, the longer I sit and savor – the harder it is to start again. I’m like the tin man from Wizard of Oz needing constant oiling after I sit too long.

  

  

  Around noon we packed up our bags and headed back towards the parking lot. By this time it was so warm outside I started to feel physically unwell. Something to know about me is that unless I am fully comfortable letting my walls down around you, I will never talk about how much I’m struggling. (Unless you read my blog, this is my space to purge my thoughts, and keeping my physical struggles to myself on the daily is a lot.)

  Peak heat triggers fatigue quick, and my Sjogrens likes to come out and play when I am overly fatigued. I’ve been talking about autoimmune stuff a lot lately, but it’s because I feel like I’ve rounded a corner with regard to acceptance. I have been living with this disease for years now, and I have found the balance I need in order to mitigate my flare ups.

  It’s a freeing feeling accepting the lack of control I have, and working with the control I do have.

  

  The trek back was like night and day with regard to how many humans we saw. For starters, we passed a Meet Up group of at least 40 people. Call me crazy, but I would rather hike alone than hike with 40 strangers all with such drastically different hiking paces. Then we passed families, couples, and those who hiked a mile in just to take a selfie in their blue jeans (I’m sorry, I will never understand those who hike in jeans.)

  Once back to the car, I was thankful to have a reprieve from the sun. Aside from my slight discomfort the second half of the hike I had a lovely day, and my pals were great conversationalists. This area of my home state is like another planet at times, and I am continually amazed I live in such a beautiful state.

  I was a zombie on the drive back, and thankful there were three of us so the other two could maintain conversation while I slipped into oblivion in the back seat.

  

  After it was all said and done I was more than happy with my decision to go on this hike. It can be easy to think we know everything about ourselves at any given moment throughout our lives, when in reality we are always evolving and always changing.

  I spent the following day mostly horizontal on the beach, and I’d call that a proper weekend balance.

  Q: Would you hike with 40 strangers?

  

  | 29 Comments Tagged Hiking, Mount St. Helens, PNW

• Leavenworth, Washington

  Posted at 1:38 PM by Brittany, on June 7, 2021

  It’s no secret I miss Bavaria. Sure – I miss the landscape, and the ease of access to endless adventures, but I also have a soul tie to this state. I worked through a lot of self discovery and growth during my time living in Bavaria, and Germany as a whole is more than just a travel destination for me. I don’t think anyone truly understands how moving to another country changes you unless they’ve experienced it for themselves.

  Needless to say, when a weekend trip to Leavenworth was suggested to me (aka the Bavaria of Washington) I said yes quicker than the blink of an eye.

  

  

  

  Upon arrival we snagged a coffee at the Bavarian themed Starbucks before having a sit by the river behind our hotel.

  

  

  I was immediately transported to the Loisach while sitting here, a river I spent so many hours biking next to, and I can’t describe how wholesome this moment felt for me. I often told people in Germany how similar Washington was to the landscape and climate of Bavaria, and Leavenworth really seals the deal with that.

  I could have sat by this river for hours, and that’s exactly what we did.

  

  

  After spending ample time by the river, and exploring a bit around town, it was time to check into the hotel. While perusing options for places to stay in Leavenworth, my initial instinct was an Air B&B. When I discovered most of the Air B&B’s were within the $200-$400 a night price range, I redirected my search. I don’t love staying in hotels, because I like having a kitchen to make my own meals, but after stumbling onto LOGE hotel I quickly made an exception.

  When you read a review that says: “if REI created a hotel”, you know you’re in for a treat.

  

  

  For starters, the staff at LOGE were all incredibly welcoming, friendly, upbeat, and I immediately envisioned myself working with them. The hotel cafe (which doubled as the front desk) was completely my speed, and I would happily pick up my barista apron to peddle lattes in Leavenworth all day. The ambiance of the lobby was adorable, and I immediately knew I was going to enjoy my stay.

  This hotel has the communal atmosphere of a hostel, but with the class and privacy of a hotel.

  The rooms come equipped with gear for guests to use (at no charge), and this gear can also be purchased if guests decide they like the product. What an excellent marketing technique. Our room had a hammock, headlamp, hats, a cooler, snacks, games, a Rumpl blanket, and more. If you’re a lover of the outdoors and appreciate more of a simplistic sleep environment, this is the hotel for you.

  

  

  Side note: I didn’t notice the hammock wasn’t locked into place, and I definitely face planted after attempting to climb into it. Thankfully it was over the bed.

  This hotel also had the nicest communal showers I have ever seen in all my years of travel. I paid more to have a private shower, but had I been alone I would have gone for the cheaper room and used these communal showers.

  

  Check in complete, it was time for an evening hike. When choosing hikes for this quick weekend getaway, I was mindful of a few things: time, location, popularity, and elevation. I wanted to experience the mountains, but I didn’t want hiking to suck up the entirety of the trip. I chose two relatively popular trails, but we hiked them during “off times” to ensure minimal human contact.

  First up: Icicle Ridge Trail – a five and a half mile round trip hike, with an elevation gain of 1870 feet. I haven’t don’t many hikes lately with elevation, and despite the fatigue I had the view at the top was well worth the climb. This trail is popular for its wildflowers, and it’s close proximity to the city center. We saw a total of around nine people the entire two hours it took to hike, and for a popular hike I would call that win.

  

  

  This hike knocked the life out of me and I was hopeful for a good nights sleep, but I had no such luck. Dehydration, too much sun exposure, and a room that was too hot made for a very poor nights sleep. Nothing a coffee can’t (temporarily) fix. After lying awake for hours, having a casual morning, we payed visit to Starbucks again around 0700 before walking through the city center in the early morning light.

  The day we arrived we walked around in the early afternoon, and the town was bustling with people. I adore waking up in a new city earlier than most to experience the town before it comes to life.

  

  

  

  What I love most about this city center is how authentic it feels. Traditional German towns are small, with a pedestrian only zone, filled with random shops, bakeries, eateries, and a park if you’re lucky. The small park in Leavenworth was adorable, and had me remising on all the summer nights I’d spent listening to Musik im Park (free park concerts) in Garmisch.

  

  Once the world started coming back to life, we packed up our things, checked out of our hotel, and headed on one more hike before making the trek back home. Hike number two had a similar name, but with a very different trail. Icicle Gorge Trail is a 4.5 mile loop with only 387′ elevation. This trail was about a 30 minute drive from the city, with some of the most beautiful driving views I have seen in a long time.

  The trail was very mild, a welcomed reprieve from the previous hike. Had I slept better I think I would have enjoyed myself more, but I was so unbelievably tired on this hike. Thankfully I was still able to appreciate the views, and I can see why this is an equally popular trail. Accessible for anyone, this trail hugs the river weaving in and out of tree covered woods to open fields.

  

  

  

  This hike took us equally as long to complete (granted we ran down most of the previous trail), despite being a mile shorter with little to no elevation. I was wrecked by the end of this hike, but I would do it all over again. I have become much more mindful of my physical activity as I have gotten older, something I have to do in order to keep my Sjogrens at bay, but sometimes the discomfort is worth the temporary joy. I no longer spiral when I feel a flare up coming, and I no longer avoid the things that cause them (except food, I try to avoid those triggers 90% of my days.)

  I cannot avoid life just to keep my body in its happy place.

  

  

  And just like that, the quick and somewhat last minute trip to Leavenworth had come to an end. I plan to revisit again this summer, hopefully with more hikes and more nostalgia. I had been to Leavenworth before, and I knew I would want to revisit after living in Bavaria, but I had no idea how connected I would feel to this tiny town this time around.

  Oh, but I do have one complaint…how the hell can you justify having ONE restaurant with half of a chicken on the menu, and sell it for $20. Absolutely erroneous.

  Gone are my days of eating half chickens, roasted Bavarian style, for €3.50.

  

  Q: Are there any towns you have visited that left you wanting more?

  

  | 31 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Hiking, Leavenworth, PNW, Travel, Washington

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 8:00 AM by Brittany, on May 17, 2021

  1. 90% of my days I am content with myself, my dietary needs, and my “have to be mindful of everything I do” lifestyle, but the other 10% I get really fu@&ing mad about it. What I would give to eat without overthinking, to push my heart rate over 170 without my body rebelling, or to honor my cravings without repercussions.

  2. Somewhere over the course of a few years my cat started to show signs of aging. By aging I mean he had one white whisker that stood out among all the black whiskers. One day, this white whisker fell out. I correlate this whisker loss with when human children loose their first tooth. So I saved the whisker.

  The white whisker has since grown back, and I find great joy in looking at it.

  

  

  3. When I moved back to America I did not have a handful of essential items. One item in particular was a laundry basket. Instead of buying a laundry basket, like a normal fully functioning human adult would do, I started using a box I had shipped my belongings in as a laundry basket. Seven months later and I still use the box.

  4. I recently spent a full day with two amazing humans who I met while I was living in Germany. One girl lives about two hours away from me, and the other girl, who used to be one of my roommates, was visiting for the weekend. I still struggle relating to anyone with regard to my life living abroad, and spending time with two people who “get it” was refreshing.

  We spent the first half of the day exploring Deception Pass, a beautiful area of my home state I had regrettably never been to.

  

  

  

  

  That last photo has some strong Cliffs of Moher vibes…if you know, you know.

  5. I changed my windshield wipers for the first time in…almost a decade. I’m one of those people who pushes their limits with life. Eating trigger foods, going for a hike alone, traveling to a new country by myself, jumping off a mountain with nothing but a parachute, leaving my windshield wipers on for far too long…you know, the usual.

  My wipers were at the point where they were audibly crying each time I used them. When I was driving solo, it didn’t phase me. When I was driving with another human, it became annoying. With some motivation and help from a pal, a YouTube tutorial, and a trip to O’Reillys – the deed has been done.

  Naturally the entire process was much easier than I anticipated.

  6. DejaVu was in full effect on a recent hike I embarked on. When I chose a trail for my hiking pals and I to explore, I had a feeling I had been there before. Sure enough I had, and I blogged to tell the tale. A lovely, wet 10 mile tromp through the woods with two cool dudes.

  

  

  7. In one month I am taking a two week road trip to Montana and Idaho, and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m visiting Glacier NP, and hiking a bit in the Sawtooth Wilderness. Any and all recommendations welcomed.

  8. When I was younger I spent two summers at Fort Flagler with one of my friends and her family. I remember this place feeling so far away, and it was possibly the highlight of each of those years. I have revisited this area twice in the last month, and it’s just as cool now that I am an adult. Instead of riding a cheap bike in circles around the camp site all day, I now spend hours lying on the beach frying my skin while eating entire packages of dried mangoes.

  Just when I start getting complacent about living where I am, I am reminded of Washington’s beauty. Life is good.

  

  9. I found myself applying to random jobs lately due to some regression in my mindset. I really enjoy the freedom I have working with REI, but I felt the societal pressure to “do more.” Why can’t I just enjoy the flexibility without the pressure to follow societies molding of success? I have since stepped back to remind myself why I choose to live the way I do. #societalnormsbedamned.

  10. I have started running again. This is my favorite confession of the entire post. I never thought this day would come, and to be honest I wasn’t sure if I would even want to start running again. Towards the end of my previous running journey I got complacent. I no longer ran because I enjoyed the run, I ran to keep my body an unnaturally small shape. My running became a chore, an added stressor to my already overtaxed immune system, and ultimately a catalyst in my Sjogrens Syndrome diagnosis.

  So I stopped running.

  Over the last year I have had the itch to pick it back up, but this time for a much healthier reason. Nothing controls my anxiety quite like running. My mornings now start with a short (and slow) run just to shake out my brain crazies, and it makes my day so much better. I no longer care about distance, or pace, or comparisons, I just care about moving. It will take time for me to build my base back to where it was (or maybe I never will and that’s ok), but I finally enjoy running for the pure joy of running.

  

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 24 Comments Tagged Autoimmune Disease, Beach, Cats, Early Morning Confessions, Hiking, PNW, Running

• Ozette Triangle Loop

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on May 10, 2021

  When I was 25 I got lost while hiking. Like…legitimately lost. I will never forget this hike, as it was the catalyst to being more prepared when I venture into the woods. When I was 29 I got lost again. I embarked on a 20 mile hike from the east to the west of Yellowstone National Park. This time it was slightly less intense, but equally frightening. It was inevitable for this Yellowstone hike, the trail was not well trafficked (very few tourists show up to YNP wanting to hike 20 miles into the backcountry), and there were endless bison paths deviating from the actual trail.

  It was a real mind game completing Mary Mountain.

  The point of these two stories is that I don’t like getting lost. I don’t reckon anyone really enjoys getting lost, but I really, truly, hate it. I panic quickly and my mind goes to the worst possible scenarios. I recently went for a hike on the coast that I anticipated would be as chill as an ice cream fresh from the ice cream man. The trail was easy – 9 miles all together on flat terrain forming a triangle with 3 miles in the forest, 3 miles on the beach, and 3 miles back in the forest.

  What could possibly go wrong?

  

  My first mistake of the day was buying a coffee from Starbucks without the ability to control how strong it was. I have perfected the science of a proper coffee to water ratio in order to ensure my blood sugar and my anxiety are both kept under control. I thought asking the barista to cut the coffee with half water would be enough, but let me tell you…it was not.

  4 miles into the hike my blood sugar plummeted so far down I’m convinced Hades felt it all the way in the underworld.

  My second mistake was overdoing my physical activity the days prior to this hike. I was cocky and anticipated it would be incredibly easy, but my goodness, walking 3 miles on loose sand is unbelievably annoying. If it weren’t for my exceptional hiking partner I would have lost my marbles. Low blood sugar, fatigue from too much prior activity, and unstable terrain set the foundation for an inexorable panic when we missed the last corner connecting the triangle from the beach back into the forest towards the parking lot.

  

  But wait, there’s more…

  Mistake number three was not downloading a map ahead of time, and neither of us had cell reception. The 3 miles of beach were hard to quantify because our pace was so slow from the sand. There was no clear indication of where to enter back into the forest, so we continued on the beach despite the fact it felt like we were literally walking for hours. (Spoiler: we WERE walking for hours.)

  By this time trepidation set in. My excess caffeine consumption had induced full blown anxiety that I tried to hide with my deafening silence.

  Logically my brain knew my life was not in danger (which I cannot say the same for on the aforementioned hikes I was lost on.) The problem with getting “lost” on this hike was the idea of having to walk the entirety of the beach all over again, back to where we started. This thought literally made me want to cease to exist. #dramatic.

  

  The tide was slowly starting to come back in, so naturally my mind envisioned being swept out to sea while on this endeavor to find the trail. We eventually took a moment to pause, eat something, and reevaluate where we might be. I had a divine intervention moment and decided to check my map app because I remembered that it still showed the blue dot location even without service. To my surprise I was also able to see the outline of the triangle and suddenly the heavens opened up.

  My cortisol levels were still on high alert, until by the grace of God we found the trail. What was meant to be 9 miles, turned into 14.5, and what was meant to be a triangle turned into…a kite.

  

  We had walked an extra 2.5 or so miles off track, away from the trail.

  Once we found the trail it was smooth sailing. I had a pep in my step again, and the second half of the woods were just as beautiful as the first. I don’t know what it is about loosing the trail, but it instills a sense of control loss for me, and I am a control f r e a k. At the end of the day the hike was mostly enjoyable, the weather was perfect, and I developed an unexpected bond with my hiking partner.

  Nothing brings two people together like fear. #dramaticagain

  

  

  I probably won’t be doing this hike again…ever, but now that I am safe in the confines of my home I can say I had a good time. I cannot deny my crippling overthinking at times, but I will say my trust has gotten better as I have gotten older. In these moments of fear I pray like I’ve never prayed before, and somehow that helps.

  Getting lost is sometimes inescapable. Whether it be on a hike, while driving around a new city, or while navigating life.

  

  Morals of the story: always have a map for trails that are not well marked, trust your gut when you think you’ve walked too far, don’t aggravate your anxiety with stimulants, don’t hike with people whose name start with the letter D (all three of these hikes I got lost on I was with one other person whose name started with a D.)

  Q: What’s your wildest “oh sh!t, I’m lost” story?? I can only hope I never have any crazier than this. I’ve been lost in other countries before, but somehow I don’t panic nearly as much as I do when I am lost in the woods.

  

  | 37 Comments Tagged Hiking, PNW, Washington

• Seasons

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on March 24, 2021

  Have you ever noticed how beautiful the world becomes when a new season begins? It’s as if somehow the earth knew us humans were beginning to get complacent, or unmotivated by a certain time of the year. With the flip of a switch a new scent in the air, or the rise and fall in temperatures brings forth a new perspective.

  I’ve spent all of my years living in places with four seasons, and I cannot imagine living somewhere without them.

  My favorite season is fall, I love everything about a crisp October morning with frost on the grass and sun in the sky. A cool spring breeze follows close second, and summer makes me want to fall in love. Winter on the other hand is the season I find most difficult. Winter is cold, dark, gloomy, and often brings in waves of the SAD’s.

  This winter however, I found myself in surprisingly high spirits. 

  

  Winter hikes.

  Perhaps it was due to the fact I spent more time outdoors than I typically do in the winter months, perhaps it was because I spent more time with other humans, or perhaps it was because just as the seasons of weather change, so too do the seasons of life. I am at the tail end of one season, paving my way into a new one, and this season of life feels slightly more optimistic than the last.

  I became quite good at isolating myself over the last handful of years, a natural response to emotional upheavals. It took me years to notice my behavior, and while I still find great value in spending time alone, I began to feel the pull towards human connections earlier last year. My goal upon returning to America was to put this pull into play by pushing myself to be more social.

  

  Trail rides with fellow bike enthusiasts.

  As an introvert spending time alone is essential, especially with a job like mine where I am constantly engaging (superficially) with others. In contrast, as a human it is also essential to spend time with others – time of connection through shared interests, deep conversations, belly laughter, and daydreams. I’m not good at expressing my “need” for other people, but as I get older I get better at expressing these needs.

  Without the season of winter (or whatever season you enjoy the least), it would be hard to fully value the seasons I love so dearly. Change brings forth growth – growth of life on earth, and growth of life within ourselves. Walking through the more uncomfortable seasons allows for a deeper appreciation of the more uplifting ones. Literally and figuratively.

  The painfully cold hikes covered in snow, albeit beautiful, help me cherish the warmth of spring hiking.

  

  

  As I move into a new earthly season as well as a new life season I have one quote hanging around the forefront of my brain helping me to progress forward: “one day at a time.” It can be so easy for me to fall into the comparison trap of where I “should be” in my life, but really there is no right or wrong place to be. Each job, each relationship, and each experience helps mold us for the next season of life.

  In order to take full advantage of these lessons we must embrace each season we are in. 

  I have high hopes for the spring and summer months to come. I see grand adventures, deeper friendships, newfound knowledge, and further personal edification. I hope to be a source of encouragement for those who are stuck in a stormy season of life. There will always be an end to the storm, as long as we continue walking through it.

  

  Q: What’s your favorite season? 

  

  | 25 Comments Tagged Hiking, Life, Spring

• Things I’m Loving Lately

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on March 8, 2021

  Despite the fact I do not follow a Catholic faith, I decided to partake in Lent this year. I was raised Catholic, but I have moved towards more of a relaxed Christian faith that I am happy with. Still, I have participated in Lenten fasts in the past, but this year was different. This year I genuinely wanted to give up something to challenge myself on more of a mental and spiritual level, rather than a physical one.

  This year, I have given up social media.

  My blog has never been a space where I can escape from reality, so my presence here is “allowed” and encouraged. Instead I have given up Instagram and Facebook, one of which I can easily get lost on for hours looking at photos from strangers I will never meet. Initially I thought this would be difficult. I thought my addiction to the mindless escape of scrolling on Instagram would be a painful missing piece of my mental distraction repitour, but what I have found has been the complete opposite.

  Rather than curling up in a corner scratching at my face for the next fix, I am more present on here. I am more present with myself, I am writing more, and I feel calmer. My eating habits have been more balanced, my mood has been stable, and my sleep has been better. I’ve spent more time reflecting on deep thoughts as well as superficial “fun” thoughts.

  Thoughts that have inspired this post. Thoughts of random things I am enjoying lately. Let’s dive in, shall we?

  

  • I am enjoying wearing a Garmin watch without the obsession.

  I will forever have a soul tie to my OG Garmin Forerunner 110, but he is no longer with us. I bought that watch in 2011, and we made it through many, many runs together. What I loved most about the 110 was the fact that it didn’t have any bells and whistles. No calorie counts, no step counts, no heart rate counts, it was just a watch that turned into a GPS when you asked it to.

  I have avoided a new Garmin because of the bells and whistles. As someone who struggled with an exercise addiction and disordered eating it can be hard to separate from that extra data. If the day of movement wasn’t perfect it was bad news. So I stopped wearing anything, I stopped tracking movement, and I did the unthinkable – I intentionally gained weight and spent many days inactive. I truly believe this temporary hiatus helped me to have a more balanced approach to exercise.

  I now use a Forerunner 45, one of the more basic watches with just the right amount of bells and whistles. RIP to Gary my Forerunner 110 shown below.

  

  • I am enjoying new work skillz.

  I finally know how to change my own bike tire/tube. I’ll never forget the time I got a flat tire years ago. It was my rear tire aka the “entering Mordor tire” with regard to taking it on and off. I was successful in getting the tire off, took it into REI to fix, and everything was going great. Until I couldn’t get the tire back on.

  I accepted my failures and asked one of my neighbors for his help, a neighbor I had never spoken to in my life. I knew he rode bikes so I figured it was worth it to ask. He was most helpful, and as a thank you I baked him (and his family) cookies and gave them a pound of coffee (back when free coffee was up to my neck.) I left it on their porch and never heard anything.

  I hope his wife didn’t think I was hitting on him. Awkward.

  

  • I am enjoying spending money.

  Hear me out on this one…I am one of the most frugal people you will ever virtually meet. I hoard my money like I am preparing for some kind of apocalypse, and it’s honestly a bit ridiculous at times. I rarely if ever buy myself something, and it takes me a long time to justify a purchase unless I “need” it. Although “need” is such a relative term.

  I refuse to fall prey to consumerism, but I have been spending more money on myself lately. Buying nicer hiking gear, buying an extra pair of shoes, the aforementioned Garmin, etc.

  I will never forget something a small southern man I used to work with in Germany told me. We were talking about my frugality one day, and I was telling him about all the ways I tried to cut costs while traveling (like using a hostel pillowcase for a towel, perks of short hair), and he looked at me and said: “you cannot take your money to the grave.”

  Ever since then I’ve been more mindful about letting myself live a little. I can’t take it to the grave.

  

  • I am enjoying my obsession with “Happy Healthy Hippie – Go With The Flow Hormone Balance.“

  If you have been around these parts for a while, you will know I have a bit of a “crunchy granola” approach to most things in my life. I avoid pharmaceuticals, I rarely wash my hair, I spent an entire summer without wearing deodorant, I try to eat mostly whole foods, and shaving my legs is an afterthought to…everything.

  When my menstrual cycle returned after being gone for five years, I knew something was still off. My hormones were ALL OVER the place. Being the professional obsessor that I am, I spent far too much time on the Google trying to find out what was going on, until one day I decided I had to do something because my PMS symptoms were taking over my life. I know that sounds dramatic, but I am completely serious.

  No this post is not sponsored, however it SHOULD be. This blend is literally just a mix of herbs so I knew I had nothing to loose. And let me tell you…I have lost nothing and GAINED some of my sanity back.

  

  • I am enjoying winter hiking.

  I never imagined I would be someone who enjoyed hiking in the winter months. As someone who struggles with Raynaud’s I tend to avoid being outside in cold temps for long periods of time. Not only have I enjoyed winter hiking, my extremities have not fallen off like I anticipated they would.

  

  

  My hiking pals and I took a trip to the Hoh Rainforest last week, a place I hadn’t visited since I was 17. The last time I took a trip to the Hoh was for a team building weekend with my dad and a group of others who were all planning a trip to Mexico for a mission trip. All I remember from 17 year old Brittany’s experience was hating the five mile hike to our camp site, hundreds of thousands of black slugs, and being stuck with people I didn’t mesh with.

  Ultimately the mission trip was amazing, and it was all worth while.

  

  Now that I am an adult, and I enjoy hiking, five miles in (and five miles out) is no big thing. We hiked (or rather walked, this area is very flat) to “Five Mile Island” where we enjoyed some snacks and views before heading back. Lush green trees, mossy rocks, waterfalls, ferns large enough to engulf an elk, and rivers rushing loud enough to lull any white noise lover to sleep.

  Worth the three hour drive, five hour walk, and three hour drive back.

  

  Life without social media feels good. I am reading more, I am listening to amazing music, I am daydreaming about people and places and adventures to come. When Lent comes to an end I plan to be more intentional with my time spent online. Life feels good right now, and I am enjoying this whole “one day at a time thing.”

  After all, today is all we have.

  Q: Have you ever taken a significant break from social media?

  

  | 43 Comments Tagged Biking, Garmin, Hiking, Hormones, Lent, Life, PNW

• Duckabush River Trail

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on March 1, 2021

  When I first started hiking more consistently in 2014, I spent most of my time exploring the Cascades of Washington State. I dabbled a bit in the Olympics, but not nearly as much as the Cascades. My first consistent hiking partner lived in Seattle, an area much closer to the Cascades, so I would meet him in the city and we would go from there.

  Occasionally he would come to my side of the water where the Olympics are, but we both felt more of a draw towards the Cascades.

  Then my hiking partner moved, I couldn’t find any other willing participants, and I began hiking alone. My mountain range of choice was still the Cascades, because somehow I felt more comfortable hiking there alone. In the beginning of my solo hiking endeavors I spent a lot of time on trails I was already familiar with, but eventually explored some new to me trails as well.

  Fast forward many years, and I have spent more time in the Olympics this past month than I did in all of 2014.

  

  I have managed to weasel my way into a somewhat consistent group of hiking pals, and these adventures have quickly become a highlight of my week. I have recently seen three new areas of the Olympics, places I would never go if I were alone. There is something deep, and vast about the Olympics.

  This isn’t a bad thing, but there is an eerie energy about these mossy trees and muddy trails that give the feeling of complete isolation.

  

  In a group setting the strong sound of a raging river, or the absolute silence of wide open woods is welcomed. Alone, these auditory stimulations are a quick reminder of just how small we are in these endless mountains of trees and terrain. I have shared a few photos from my hikes the last month in previous posts, but today I share a proper trail report.

  The latest mountain adventure took my pals and I to the Duckabush River Trail, a 10.5 mile moderately rated hike deep in the heart of the Olympics. The early bird not only catches the worm, but also catches a good parking spot. Although hiking in the winter months on less populated trails will also help with that. All of the hikes I’ve done the last month have had little to no other humans around for miles.

  I’m stoked to have friends who also believe in the power of an early start, it can be like pulling an abscessed tooth with some people convincing them to get a head start.

  

  

  This trail starts out mostly flat with a bit of a down hill grade, weaving in and out of large lichen covered trees and a few small stream crossings. Despite the fact we were hiking in February, the trail conditions were excellent. Nothing a good pair of waterproof shoes cannot combat. It’s somewhat comical to think I have been hiking for as long as I have, and only recently purchased a pair of waterproof shoes.

  I still wear trail runners though, because I am adamantine with footwear and cannot commit to the extreme discomfort of a hiking boot.

  The weather was moody and wet for the first half of our hike, and despite the trail name there was only a small section that hugged parallel with the river. The terrain was ever-changing and the cooler temps were a welcomed reprieve when we reached some quick, but steep switchbacks bringing us to an expansive view of the valley below.

  I’m much quicker when the external temperature is cold, I give off heat like a personal portable furnace.

  

  

  Our first vantage point was a large rock fit for baby Simba, and we stopped to appreciate the view. After the switchbacks to this rock the trail is moderate again, moving onto the backside of the mountain we had just climbed. Endless rows of burned trees guided us down towards our destination next to the river. We encountered a small amount of snow on the backside of the hike, but nothing my Salomon trail runners couldn’t handle.

  Upon arrival at the river we sat and savored a snack before making the trek back to the car.

  The sit at the river brought my core temperature lower than comfortable, and I was quite chilly as we ate our snacks. As if by the Grace of God when we started our walk back the clouds dispersed and the sun came out to play. We were much quicker on the way back, per usual, and managed to finish the hike in a little over six hours. I appreciate the desire to stop and savor the views along the way, as well as the focus to get back to the car after we’ve seen all there is to see.

  

  

  This group of pals reminds me of the three solid guy friends I hiked with regularly while I was living in Yellowstone, one of which was my absolute savior during those intense but amazing months in the wilderness.

  When the spring and summer months arrive, I plan to spend more time in the Cascades. The sweeping peaks of those mountains are a welcomed challenge, one that will remind me of how fortunate I am to have found a balance in living life with an autoimmune disease. Each day brings forth new challenges, but I have dialed down what I need in order to keep up with these three hooligans, or any others I embark into the mountains with.

  Until then, I will relish in these lowland hikes through the woods of the Olympics. A forest unlike any other I have seen.

  

  Q: Are you a fan of winter hiking?

  

  | 27 Comments Tagged Hiking, Olympic Mountains, PNW, Washington

• Filtering Fear

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on February 22, 2021

  I am an anxious person. This is not news, but as I continue to navigate my way through life I continue trying to find the “why” behind my feelings/emotions/behaviors. Fear and anxiety are hardwired into our psychology for good reason – these intuitive emotions help to protect us from dangerous situations. Fear can act as a motivator to prepare us for the unexpected, but fear can also act as a paralytic.

  My fear has somehow evolved over time from a healthy and mindful reminder of my boundaries, to an unkempt field of weeds.

  The thing about me is that while I acknowledge that I am anxious and overly fearful at times, I am also actively working against myself to determine what is real, and what is not. I am quite literally filtering through my fears. What is causing me to feel anxious most of the time is a false reality somehow skewed by my experiences over time. When we try to repress these thoughts or feelings we continue to stay stuck in an unhealthy cycle, making poor choices along the way. When we acknowledge these thoughts or feelings we grow.

  I choose to swim through these thoughts rather than allow them to drown me.

  

  Life experiences play a large role in our mental health, but I truly believe that a significant amount of our dysphoria is reflective of our physical bodies as well. Hormonal imbalances, and digestive distresses are key factors in our mental health. The gut is referred to as our second brain for a reason, the close knit inner workings of our true brain and our guts are very real. What we think we feel, and what we feel we think.

  The reason we feel like we need to rush to the bathroom when we are nervous, or when we feel a pain in our stomach when we are afraid, is all relative to these homeostatic relationships within our bodies.

  I have a borderline obsession with researching the topic of physical and mental health correlations, and the knowledge I have gained has me often wanting to scream the benefits of proper nutrition and lifestyle from the tallest mountain. Sometimes though, these basic humanistic necessities aren’t enough to balance our inner beings, and we need a little help from external sources. My hormones have been out of whack for an unreasonable amount of time, and I recently decided to experiment with a herbal hormone balancing blend.

  I am blown away by the results.

  

  For the first time in what feels like lightyears I feel balanced. I feel stable. I feel less anxious and less “down.” I’m not saying this is a magic bullet, but I do believe in the power of nature helping to bring us back to our factory setting. My mood the last month has been lighter, I have been more sociable, I have been more empathetic, more compassionate. I have been more…whole.

  My fear is still hanging around, but most of the scenarios in which I feel fearful are realistic.

  Examples of appropriate fear I have recently felt are: not wanting to drive in the snow, and challenging the idea of a hike in the snow. Snow and I are not good pals. I once got lost for hours on a hike because of snow, and I have slid too many times on the roads because of snow. Examples of inappropriate fear I have recently felt are: fear of rejection, and wanting to cancel on friends because I fear being a burden. Spoiler alert – a worthy friend will never make you feel like a burden.

  

  With downs come ups, and it feels good to be on the other end of this yo-yo. I know the downs are inevitable, but I’ll take the ups for as long as I can. With the shift in my mood I have had more of a desire to be social, to get out of my comfort bubble of isolation and spend more time with others. I am thankful to have met new pals who enjoy hiking as much as I do, and each “yes” I say when I am invited on a hike helps propel me further forward.

  I turned 32 last week, and while I had big plans of spending every year of my 30’s in Europe, Covid had other plans. Instead I went for a hike with three new pals. A snowy, wet, adventurous, new to me hike. I swear I just turned 30, yet here we are already at 32. The older I get the more I reflect on my life in my 20’s. Somedays I feel I have made zero progress in my life, but each year I make moves in the right direction. I no longer feel the need to “fix” my problems. I am content in diving deep to the roots of what I am feeling.

  The beauty of change.

  

  It’s ok to feel fear. It’s ok to feel anxious. What’s not ok is letting these feelings control you. The beneficial fear is directly related to physical safety, while the rest of it is a result of over thinking, societal conditions, and unresolved trauma from earlier in life. I am finding joy in this process of working through the weeds I have grown in my mind. For so long I have avoided my own mental garden, but how freeing it feels to be so in tune with myself.

  What would happen if we looked at the bigger picture of our lives? If we are feeling more anxious, more fearful, or more down than normal. Are we taking care of our physical body? Have we allowed ourselves to work through any weeds in our minds? Are we spending time with others, in whatever manner works for us with the current state of the world? This is a classic case of what came first, the mental or physical ailments? Small changes in the things we can control have the power to make large changes in the things we cannot.

  I am one year older, but I feel multiple years wiser. I can only imagine this continues to get better as I continue to age.

  

  To anyone out there who feels paralyzed by fear, you are not alone. I challenge you to question the root cause of these feelings, and to filter out what is true and what is conditioned over years of imbalances. Say yes to something that scares you, tell someone how you feel about them, value your worth because you only get one shot at this thing called life.

  We can choose to stay stuck in the shadows, or we can learn to dance in the sun.

  Q: How do you deal with fear?

  

  | 32 Comments Tagged Anxiety, Fear, Hiking, Life, Mental Health

• Pushing Through

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on February 2, 2021

  I recently posted a photo on Instagram with a “deep” and somewhat recurring theme for me, something I alluded to in my previous post. The words are ones I have been mulling on for years, but just when I start to lean into these words I get up and run. Typically around the three month mark of being in my hometown, my restless soul is rearing up for another adventure, another escape, another opportunity to outrun my emotions.

  But this time I am still – immobile in the grand scheme of things.

  I realize the reason this theme is so constant for me is because it’s taken me nearly a decade to work through a myriad of life events. I start to dive deep, write a blog post about my feelings, and then I flee before the real work is done. If you’ve been around this space of the internet for a while, you’ll know I’ve shared similar struggles for what feels like lightyears, and I often feel like I am prattling with these posts, but what I wrote on Instagram encompasses what I’ve needed to do for quite some time…

  “Coming back to my hometown is always hard for me. There are emotions and experiences stuck in time here, and when I move away a small part of me is trying to escape them.

  I came back this time because I knew I needed to sit with these feelings, to grieve lost friendships and relationships, to allow myself to fall on my face without the nagging judgmental voice of my ego, and to figure out what I need in order to heal and move forward.

  All of these things are possible anywhere in the world, but I find when I’m off on adventures my focus is elsewhere. So here, in this town I can’t help but feel stagnant and stuck in, I find myself face to face with the same emotions I’m always trying to outrun.

  Call it growth, call it adulting, or simply call it burn out…but I’ve been allowing myself to feel so many things since moving back. It’s not easy, it’s certainly not fun, and there are plenty of times I want to jump in my car and drive far away, but I stay. I stay in these feelings because deep in my heart I know the only way out is through.”

  

  Despite my broken record like posts the last few years, something is different this time. This time I am not running away. I am doing “the work” no matter how uncomfortable it might be. I’ve officially reached the point of no return, and I cannot take this cycle anymore. It’s time to move forward. So I have been spending time with myself in isolation, while also challenging myself to be more social. I struggle with meeting new people, but I know these struggles stem from deep rooted fears most of us experience from childhood.

  I am not great at small talk, the superficial conversations make me uncomfortable and anxious.

  However, I know without these awkward initial engagements with other humans it’s nearly impossible to make friends. So often I dismiss a relationship before it even begins because I hold out for those rare people I click with immediately. I crave long, deep, vulnerable conversations with people who listen and who share parts of their brokenness few others have seen. I’ve only had a few of those people cross my path within the last decade, and as much as I wish all friendships could start this way I do believe some friendships flourish after time.

  Unless you’re an animal. I will forever be the introvert in the corner with the animals. 

  

  Side note: I bought my cat a handmade wool cat cave…and I feel great joy every time he goes inside.

  One of the reasons I chose my current job was because I knew it would be a place of comity, filled with people who like to hike, explore, bike, and whatever else we can get into outside. Despite the common interests in activities like hiking, I still feel anxious when committing to spending time with my coworkers outside of work. Typically when I decide to push myself out of my comfort zone I move across the country…or the world…but right now I am pushing myself to be more social close to home.

  Meeting new people is a crucial part of my healing journey, and it will be impossible for me to rewrite the narratives I have about myself without putting myself out there. 

  I recently went on two hikes with two separate groups of people from work, and both excursions were good not only for my mind and my body, but also for my soul. The first hike I embarked on was one I have done many times before. In fact this used to be one of my favorite solo hikes, making it somewhat ironic I decided to hike this with three other people. While I am not usually a fan of larger groups, having more than one “new” person makes it a bit less overwhelming for me.

  

  I am very picky with my friends, but once I feel comfortable with someone I am an open book. Truthfully I can be an open book right off the bat, if only someone shows a genuine interest. For so much of my life I have been around people who don’t show interest in what I have to say, or they listen just to reply. This has conditioned me to keep to myself, but it has also allowed me to appreciate those special souls I meet who want to hear what I have to say.

  This aversion to other humans is something I have struggled with since the endless gaslighting of a previous relationship, causing me to question everything about myself. 

  This old hike with new friends was a nice push for me to get outside and start breaking open my shell of introversion. The only way to become more comfortable with discomfort is to continue pushing through. Four days later, I agreed to another hike with three guys I work with. This adventure ended up being a full day – 12 miles through mud, snow, flooded trail sections, many downed trees, and it was a blast.

  

  I tend to get along with people of all ages, but I don’t have many friends my own age. I attribute this to the fact I continue to flounder in life while most people my age have “careers.” What I love about my job is the employees range from 18 all the way to late 60’s/70’s. The first group I hiked with I was the youngest, the second I was the oldest, and yet both times were enjoyable for different reasons.

  My soul tends to connect with fellow old souls, and I have discovered physical age has nothing to do with the age of our souls.

  

  As I continue to grow and push myself towards personal melioration I find comfort in the discomfort. Each time my throat tightens up before a night filled with tears, when my chest aches at the thought of a lost love, or when I let go of the obsessive control over my body and what I eat, I feel oddly comforted. I know in these times of pain there is a future of flourishing.

  How joyful we could be as humans if we only took the time to work through our brokenness.

  I’m writing this post to say I am in a place of comfortable discomfort. I don’t know if that makes sense, but despite the underlying anxiety I feel most days, I know I am where I’m meant to be at this moment in time. I am enjoying meeting new people, destroying the false narratives in my mind, and finally allowing moments of the past and present to work their way through my mind. It’s amazing what we can discover if we only take a moment to put away the distractions of life and press the pause button.

  

  So here’s to pushing through. Through the discomfort, through the sadness, through the joy, through the laughter, and through the pain. Being human is one wild ride, but what a blessing it is to have the freedom to explore who we are, and what we need. One step, one day, one minute at a time.

  Q: How are you taking time for yourself lately?

  

  | 23 Comments Tagged Hiking, Life, Reflection

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