Tag: Duncan

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on February 22, 2023

  1. It’s been a while and I have a lot to share, so we are doing an EMC explosion of words. Each number will likely be more words than a usual EMC post, consider yourself warned this will be a long read. Winter has been kicking my butt. We’re talking lifting me up, spinning me around, and dropping my on my head style. My motivation, my drive, and my cares have all flown out the window.

  I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to exercise, and I don’t want to eat well. Thankfully my discipline is still in tact so I am showing up to work, I am still exercising, and I am eating well…somedays, but man am I ready for spring. There is a reason animals hibernate in the winter months, and the older I get the better that sounds.

  Humans need rest too.

  2. My dear friend Sam got married last February, and she and her husband had a small ceremony with just a few close friends. The ceremony was lovely, but she wanted to have a reception the following year when Covid chaos calmed a bit more. Fast forward to this February and she had the reception.

  I cannot remember the last time I put on a dress and went into public.

  My favorite part of the entire evening was seeing Duncan in slacks and a tie (albeit the tie was a bit short, but we had a good laugh about it.) That was a sight I never knew I needed to see until seeing it. Insert drooling emoji. My mom and my sister are friends with the bride, and they came with us as well. My sister said Sam looked like a princess in her dress, and I would have to agree.

  

  

  

  3. Back in January Duncan and I went to see The Whale in theaters. I have not paid to see a movie since I went to see Jojo Rabbit back in Garmisch in 2019. I don’t think spending money for a movie is typically worth the cost, however the moment I saw the trailer for The Whale I knew I would be spending my money to see this film. I nearly wrote an entire blog post about this movie because I had so many words. I cannot remember the last time I cried in a movie as hard as I cried watching The Whale.

  I absolutely sobbed. I had to sit in my seat for a minute after the movie ended trying to compose myself before I could leave the room. I was also days before my period, but that’s beside the point.

  The movie was hard to watch at times, and some reviews have given it flak calling it fat phobic, or grotesque. To these comments I would assume those reviewers have never personally struggled with the type of trauma that accompanies addictions. Or rather have not experienced addictions caused by trauma. The movie was raw, and painful, and while it might not be for everyone it was hands down the best movie I have seen all year.

  A movie that can hit me on so many emotional cords will automatically climb to the top.

  This is a movie about a broken family both collectively and individually, traumas of multiple varieties, and redemptions. It’s heavy, and it’s unbelievably sad, but I am crossing my fingers and my toes that Brendan Fraser wins the Oscar for his performance. That’s saying a lot because I normally couldn’t give two cares about those award shows. Hollywood sucks, but Brendan is amazing.

  4. Moving onto something less heavy…while stuffing our faces at Sams wedding, Duncan fell in love with the bacon wrapped goat cheese stuffed dates (say that five times fast) they made. I knew we would have to recreate these someday, and then that societal pressure filled holiday known as Valentines Day rolled around. You don’t have to give me a reason to do something nice for Duncan, but I will happily take a “holiday” as an excuse to make food.

  I picked up a handful of his favorite foods for a picnic style smörgåsbord. I got brie and crackers, smoked salmon, olives with garlic and jalapeño, and then I made the infamous dates. Ohhh man were they good. I also made chocolate peanut butter hearts, both of which took me far longer to make than expected. And of course, it took us all of 10 minutes to eat like pigs.

  Don’t ask me how I felt the next day. Ooooph.

  

  

  5. I am absolutely, positively, burned out at work. What was meant to be a transition job from Germany to America has turned into a two year and four month job with more ups and downs than my mood swings during my luteal phase. The job has been flexible, and I am working in an area I worked hard to get to, but I don’t enjoy the environment. I don’t align with the corporate values or goals, and I have reached a point where most days I struggle going to work. Maybe it’s the winter mood?

  I have never shied away from talking about working jobs that fill your cup regardless of the pay, and this is no different. I have worked odd jobs all over the world in order to fulfill my need of adventure and learning new things, and I know it’s ok to close this chapter soon. I like my paychecks, and I have stayed longer than I thought because I get a decent pay, but I know I cannot stay somewhere just for the money. If only every job has similar flexibility…

  Best thing I got out of my current job was meeting Duncan. He was an unexpected detour in my journey, but one I am thankful I took.

  6. I turned 34 last week. A concept that boggles my mind, and has me turning inward as I do most years around this time. One because it’s winter and those are the times for us to rest more and be more present with our thoughts, and two because I am slapped in the face with the reality that I am not getting any younger. For my birthday most years I choose to do something outside. Usually that includes a hike, or traveling somewhere new, and this year was no exception.

  Duncan took the day off (what a gem), and accompanied me on a Pacific Northwest adventure.

  I had wanted to visit a coffee shop a handful of miles from where I live for over a year now, and what better time to do so than on a birthday. The Espresso Chalet has gained attraction for its quirky Sasquatch themed exterior, and its breathtaking views of the Cascade Mountains. I’m indifferent to the Sasquatch stuff, but I had to see the views. We had a chilly, but clear day and while the coffee was not good, the views made the trip worth it.

  

  

  Duncan and I each got an Americano, but they tasted more like coffee flavored tea. Very weak – which is saying a lot coming from me because I am someone who waters down my coffee as it is. We both would come back, but would order something else. All was not lost with the crummy coffee though, our second plan for the day was to go for a hike in the area. I had wanted to see Wallace Falls for some time as well, so we threw on our wool socks and waterproof shoes and hit the trail.

  The hike was about 5.5 miles, with just under 1500′ of elevation, and after the feast I’d had the day before (my birthday is the day after Valentines Day if you remember the food I made a few confessions up) I was struggling to put one foot in front of the other. I felt like the Michelin man trying to climb up a hill. The trail was beautiful and the waterfall views were gorgeous. 10/10.

  

  I ended the evening with my first froyo in likely a decade, and a homemade gluten free chocolate cake courtesy of my mom. Needless to say I needed a few days of nothing but air to recover. My poor little autoimmune body.

  7. In the summer of 2020 my dad and his family planned a Mediterranean cruise for everyone as a celebration of my younger sister graduating college. Obviously that trip did not happen because life as we knew it changed forever, but little did we know there were six cruise vouchers sitting nicely in the cruise voucher ether. For two years these vouchers sat, unbeknownst to anyone, until my step mom received a phone call at the end of last year.

  We are all at different places in life, meaning a group cruise for all six of us was no longer an option. In December I was presented with: “you have a voucher and you can also use your sisters, but it has to be booked by the end of the month.” My anxiety and overwhelm went into overdrive as I realized I had to book a cruise within two weeks. My credit was significantly higher than my sisters, and while technically the credit was hers, I was given the option to transfer it to Duncan should he want to go.

  After figuring out all the logistics, and getting Duncan on board with my plan, I settled on a 9 day cruise going through Greece, Turkey, Israel, and Cyprus. These are all locations I have been wanting to visit, but a few of them I would not feel comfortable traveling alone. Having Duncan with me will make me feel safer, and while I don’t love the fast paced travel a cruise offers, I think this is a perfect way to get introduced to some of these places. We are taking full day excursions on all but one port day, and I am equal parts excited and anxious. We leave in April.

  While the credit did not end up covering the entirety of this trip, it certainly covered a LARGE part of it. There is no way in hell I would have booked this kind of vacation without it. My frugal blood would have been screaming and I would not be unable to fully enjoy myself. It took a lot for me to accept booking the excursions through the cruise opposed to saving money and finding a local tour, but at the end of the day I would rather pay for the peace of mind that comes with doing everything through the ship.

  The last thing I need is to be left behind.

  8. Duncan moved into a new apartment last week, and I am stoked because he is now significantly closer to me. We will have been dating for two years in April, and while we did entertain the idea of living together it didn’t feel like the right time yet for me. The biggest obstacle for me, which is going to sound silly, is my cat (I am also struggling to accept leaving my mom alone to take care of my autistic sister, but that is another story.) I cannot live without my cat and I wasn’t sure how it would be moving him (he is fifteen) into an apartment complex.

  He has lived in a home for his entire life and all I could see was him getting out and getting lost.

  Duncan has been nothing but supportive of me in all the decisions I make and all the things I do, and he understand and accepts my crazy when I sometimes take a long time to come over because I am struggling to leave my cat. I have an arguably unhealthy bond to my cat, but ever since I almost lost him in 2018 I am now obsessed with spending time with him. Especially since I left him for two years. My point in all of this is to share what Duncan got me for my birthday.

  Once again, it’s not just the gift, but it’s the thought behind the gift.

  

  I cannot deny that this mug looks moderately like a memorial to my fur child, but I absolutely adore it. Duncan said to me, “now when you have coffee at my place it’s like you are with Little.” INSERT CRYING EMOJI. While I adore that idea, I am not taking this mug to his place, it will live with me at mine so I can use it every single day until I perish. He did everything he could to find a cat clip art with a white patch, but he could not find one. Either way, this is my favorite mug for life.

  I have thought about putting a blob of whiteout on his neck, not sure how that would go. Thoughts and ideas are welcomed.

  9. For the first time in all of my existence I messed up on my taxes. I filed them far too early, and after they were filed I received a W2 I had completely forgotten about. My caregiving job (helping provide care for my autistic sister) switched companies at the beginning of last year, and it had slipped my mind. I filed with the W2 from the company we switched to, and then later received the W2 from the original company. I have since amended my return, and my anxiety has balanced back out.

  10. A couple weeks ago I went for an amazing 5 mile run. The weather was lovely, but a bit crisp. I wore a vest because I was going to run by the water, and the wind is always brutal in that area. I tucked my keys and license in one pocket, and my phone in the other and off I went. Or so I thought.

  I made the rookie mistake of putting my phone in the SAME POCKET AS MY ID.

  I didn’t notice it was missing until I got home, so I drove my running route again to try and find it, but no luck. I had a gut feeling someone was going to mail it to me, but just in case I went to get a new one. I got my new ID on a Friday, and that following Monday my old ID showed up in the mail. A painful $20 lesson, but a wonderful run nonetheless.

  

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 32 Comments Tagged Birthday, Coffee, Duncan, Early Morning Confessions, Running, Vacation, Valentines day, Wedding

• Happy Christmas

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on December 29, 2022

  I am going to sound like a broken record by saying this, but I cannot believe Christmas has come and gone. Every year it seems to get a little worse, where I struggle to get fully into the spirit of the holiday. I know Christmas is meant to be more than what we have commercialized it to be, and as someone who dreads the whole gift giving aspect of things I try to find my joy in other ways.

  I love the colors, the lights, the food, the treats, the time off, and the time with family. My family is small, and most holidays have been spent with my mom and my older sister. The three of us have found a good rhythm in life, but I often daydream of celebrating holidays with a large group of humans. The older I get the more I crave a solid community to lean on.

  The last time I truly felt the spirit of the season was when I worked for Starbucks, there is just something about those holiday cups.

  

  I indulged in one black coffee out of the above holiday cup this year, and it most certainly tasted better than drinking out of a traditional white cup. I often miss being a barista, but it’s around the holidays when I reaalllyyy miss it. Alas, I do not miss large corporations moving away from human connection and moving closer to people in people out. I must be destined for a small mom and pop coffee shop, or my own coffee shop…

  I digress.

  My Christmas was lovely, a low key day with family. Duncan and I enjoyed a mimosa with his mom and grandma before going to my moms for dinner. A salmon feast with plenty of Lindt truffles fueled the night, and for good reason. My small black cat escaped just as Duncan and I were leaving for the evening, leading to a good cop, bad cop like chase through the woods. I realize chasing is never the answer, and ultimately we had to wait for him to come back.

  And come back he did, sauntering in like a drowned rat as if nothing happened. Little shit.

  

  My run streak is still going, although as I get closer to the restart of my monthly cycle I want to run less. So most days during the week leading up to my cycle I will likely be running one mile. Anything to get the body moving? These days I appreciate the movement because I have been eating as if all hell broke loose. I try to give myself more grace this time of year to be a bit flexible with my diet, but as someone who is genuinely affected by the foods I consume I need to reel it in.

  My anxiety has been off the charts this month and it’s no doubt because of what I have been eating. I have everyday background noise anxiety, but throw in some gluten, sugar, and dairy and it’s like opening a flood gate. Indulging here and there is one thing, but those holiday treats have kicked me down the rabbit hole. If you are someone who struggles with anxiety like me I highly recommend paying attention to what you eat.

  I don’t have any regrets, I enjoyed the hell out of this holiday season with the good foods, but I am ready to feel more centered.

  

  I briefly mentioned earlier I struggle with the gift giving aspect of Christmas. I have a strong aversion to clutter, and there is very rarely anything that I “need” these days. I am much more of an experiences as gifts type of person, as well as gift cards. You can never go wrong with a gift card. The irony is that I do enjoy GIVING gifts, but I like to think I am good at getting people things they need and perhaps would not buy for themselves. Like an electric toothbrush (one of the gifts I gave Duncan last year.)

  This year Duncan and I agreed on skipping the gift giving, but then about a week before Christmas he let slip that he got me something small.

  

  Last month when Duncan and I were driving to his parents house for Thanksgiving dinner, we began talking about my trip to Ireland in 2017. I mentioned to him how I visited The House of Waterford Crystal, and was able to go on a tour to learn more about the crystal making process. As I was leaving the tour through the gift shop, I noticed a pair of crystal stud earrings I fell in love with.

  At the time I could not justify buying them, I already had a few souvenires, but it was something I had regretted to this day.

  I told Duncan I wished I had bought the earrings because they would have been a great souvenir (something small) to remember my trip, and then we moved on to talk about other things. Lo and behold he took that conversation, and hunted down a pair of beautiful Waterford Crystal stud earrings. The package was literally from Ireland. These are the moments and gifts I will cherish forever.

  

  I often feel that people don’t truly listen when I speak. I feel alone more times than not even when in a room full of people. I don’t typically feel understood and more times than not I feel like an outsider looking in. For someone to not only hear what I said in passing, but to act on what I said – I can’t put into words what this meant to me. It’s not the jewelry, or the shiny crystals, it’s the thoughtfulness.

  Thoughtfulness far surpasses anything else in my book. Thank you Duncan, you really made my heart smile. And on that sappy note I bid you all adieu, until the next post. I wish everyone a happy and healthy transition into the new year.

  Q: How was your holiday? If you don’t celebrate Christmas, did you get the day off?

  

  | 34 Comments Tagged Christmas, Duncan, Running

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on November 7, 2022

  1. I have been home from Sweden for about a month now, and readjusting to regular life was hard at first, but I finally feel settled. Work has been slow, so hours have been cut, but I am not complaining. It gives me time to do more important things, like help my mom clean her house and look for other jobs. LOL.

  2. I took my cat to the vet recently and it was the most horrific experience. He never does well at the vet, and I have to drug him before I go (which is very stressful for us both), but this most recent time was the worst. He could not calm down even with the drugs, and while they were trying to get his blood pressure I could hear him SCREAMING in the other room. I had a hard time keeping it together. The good news is that he seems to be “anti-aging” and all prior concerns are under control.

  

  3. I have been enjoying too many late night fika’s since I returned from Sweden. Before I left I bought the gluten free pumpkin loaf from Trader Joe’s, and I am onto my fourth loaf of the season. It is SO GOOD. Even better with coffee…my anxiety doesn’t thank me for the excess caffeine at times though. Reel it in Brittany…

  4. It felt like summer lasted forever here, and it was still smoky into mid October. I was ready and longing for fall, yet it seems we have skipped straight to winter overnight. It has been SO cold. I was lusting for fall, but now I would give anything to go back to my last hike to Mount Rainier with Duncan in the September sun.

  

  

  

  5. Few things make me more uncomfortable than an overly stuffed fridge. I would not survive long in a food shortage because I hate having excess food. Food waste is one of my biggest pet peeves, and when I see a fridge stuffed to the brim I need to organize it. I like to eat what I have, and then buy more as I need. Pantry items I give a bit more leeway to, but I do not like having excess there either.

  6. Back in 2015 I bought my second pair of Vibram Five Finger Bikila’s. I had a few other Five Finger models prior to the Bikila, but once I slipped my foot into the Bikila it was like Cinderella’s slipper. Naturally this shoe was discontinued relatively quick, and when I found that second pair I was elated. Fast forward to 2022 and that pair has been run into the ground. I have worn them despite the holes in the left shoe, but I recently found a pair on eBay for $35. Unheard of.

  They fit like a glove. Literally.

  

  

  7. My blog storage is nearing full capacity. I can either pay more money to have more space, or I can stop blogging. Orrrr I can start a new blog. New blog new me kind of thing. I have always sort of disliked my blog URL, it’s so corny. Someone once told me that it even sounded like a porn website. Yikes. However, blissfulbritt has been with me through aaalllll the up’s and down’s of growing up. Ohhh life dilemma’s.

  8. The weekend before Halloween Duncan and I went to a murder mystery game night with some friends. I happened to choose the character that died first, but I soon discovered that there was little to no organization with the game. I ended up spending most of the evening alone. I was a bit salty, but I’m over it now. Mostly. I still had fun, and the next morning I went to a lovely coffee shop where I met my new family.

  

  9. Last Tuesday our water heater shit the bed. Not only did the behemoth have to be removed ASAP, the entirety of the flooring surrounding it needs to be replaced (it was dripping for who knows how long.) We cannot get a new water heater until the flooring and dry wall is replaced, which is proving to take some time. I have been taking cold showers ever since, and I am officially a member of the Navy Shower gang. While this new method of cleaning myself has been an adventure, and I exit the bathroom feeling refreshed, I cannot wait for warm water again.

  You have not felt discomfort until you have felt frigid water on your skin in the middle of late fall/early winter. I like to call this character building.

  10. Duncan and I went to a new to us pumpkin patch this year before Halloween hit, and it was ridiculously expensive. Each day that passes I feel more and more like a crotchety old woman. We spent $50 for two people to walk through the corn maze and find a pumpkin (which was a separate fee.) Call me crazy, but that’s just too much. Thankfully, we found two small and fun pumpkins that did not break the bank.

  We even wore matching forehead pimples, how sweet.

  

  

  

  Can you guess who carved which pumpkin?

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 40 Comments Tagged Corn Maze, Duncan, Early Morning Confessions, Hiking, Pumpkin

• A Weekend Away

  Posted at 9:45 AM by Brittany, on July 21, 2022

  I’ve always been a bit indifferent to holiday weekends. Most of the jobs I have worked don’t have holidays off, and they often feel like just another day of the week. I do love a good Thanksgiving feast, thrive watching my cat run through Christmas wrapping paper, and when I was a kid I felt like an all star staying up late watching Twilight Zone marathons on NYE, but these days I can take or leave most of the lesser known holidays.

  Fourth of July is typically my least favorite holiday. I don’t enjoy fireworks unless I am hot and sweaty after a full day at Disneyland, and I don’t have a big family to aggregate with for BBQ and brews. This year, things were a bit different. This year I am dating a human who works a M-F job, where holidays are a thing. This meant the Fourth of July weekend was a prime time for a weekend getaway.

  So we got away.

  

  Duncan has more of a Type B personality, while I am more of a Type A. This means I like control of the planning process, not that we needed to plan too much for a short weekend away. I made a last minute change in plans, taking us to the town of Anacortes, and this turned out to be such a lovely little reset.

  We arrived Saturday afternoon, and our first stop was to Mount Erie – the tallest mountain in Anacortes. This wasn’t saying much, as the peak tops out at 1300′, but after recovering from my second bout of Covid just a few days prior I felt the 1000’+ elevation gain. We took it slow, and savored the view from the top.

  

  

  After basking in our sense of superiority at the top amongst the other humans who drove up, we made our way back down and headed to our Air B & B. I found this Air B & B two days before we were to arrive, which was literally perfect timing. Someone had just canceled their stay, and the hosts put the spot back up for a discounted price.

  I happened to be the lucky soul who found it – talk about divine intervention.

  This Air B & B was PERFECT. I adored everything about it. It was small, and minimal, and bright, and OPEN, and airy and beautiful. Fully equipped with everything, including a fun couples card game that Duncan and I played. I would absolutely stay at this place again, it was just so wonderful.

  They even provided sleep masks because the skylights brought in so much natural light! Little touches do not go unnoticed.

  

  After dropping off our stuff we headed to the nearby grocery to buy some fooooood. We made dinner, watched some Netflix, played the card game, and headed to bed. The next morning we had a casual breakfast before driving to Whidbey Island for a walk at Fort Ebey. I had found this hike (more like a walk) a few weeks prior, but I knew it would require a weekend trip away as it was too much to drive in one day.

  The drive took about 40 minutes, and it was a rainy, blustery day, but we had a car full of snack and veins full of coffee. The trail was beautiful. Like something out of the UK. My only complaint was the amount of snails. It was like I couldn’t catch a break. If you read my last post you will know I JUST walked a trail where the slugs were endless, and I felt like my anxiety was in overdrive.

  Thankfully my lovely boyfriend hugged me and let me take my time when I had a full blown meltdown.

  

  

  

  

  I don’t claim to have a “normal” phobia, alas it is what it is. We made it out of snail territory and looped back on the beach for a relaxing walk back to the car. We hunted for beach glass, unique rocks, and pretty shells to take home with us. Duncan even got himself an eagle floof. We very briefly went to see one of the old military bunkers at Fort Ebey State Park before making our way back to the Air B & B.

  Duncan promptly fell asleep after eating an early dinner, so I made myself a Brittany friendly meal while watching Netflix and let the gentle giant slumber.

  The following day we were set to head home, but not before one more minor exploration. It was Monday the 4th, and downtown Anacortes was crowded for a parade. We headed to Washington Park for a loop around the area, which turned into more after getting a wee bit lost. Duncan spearheaded us out, and we made it back to the car and back home in record time.

  

  I tend to enjoy a busy vacation, with lots to see and do. Duncan enjoys more of a restful vacation, but he was a trooper and indulged me in my need to walk and hike and explore. This was just what I needed to scratch the itch. A weekend away keeps the wanderlust at bay, even if just temporarily.

  Q: Do you enjoy weekend getaways, or would you rather save everything for a week long trip?

  

  | 10 Comments Tagged Duncan, Hike, PNW, Vacation

• Guillemot Cove

  Posted at 7:00 AM by Brittany, on July 2, 2022

  I mentioned in my previous post that Duncan and I have a plethora of differences. One of the main areas we differ is what we prefer to do with our free time. When I have zero responsibilities the first place I want to go is outside. I want to hike, or bike, or explore a new town. Duncan is more of a homebody and he prefers calm and quiet times at home.

  This was one of the first areas of our relationship where we were able to practice productive compromise and communication – two fundamental building blocks of a healthy relationship. We spend most of our weekends together and try to spend one day doing an activity for me, and one day doing something chill for him.

  So far we have been able to make this work, while also communicating it’s ok if we do things separately.

  

  One of our most recent outdoor adventures was to a very chill, but equally beautiful walking area called Guillemot Cove. I had been here once before, but I hadn’t explored the entirety of it. There are multiple trails that lead into one large cove area, encompassing around 3-4 miles.

  It’s like a choose your own ending book.

  We pulled up to a surprisingly busy parking area, which shouldn’t have surprised me as it was a sunny Saturday. We don’t have a lot of that bright light in this state. We started in the woods, and took our first right taking us down the steepest part of the trail. From the woods we were thrown into an open area of tall grasses giving the first sneak peak of the cove on the beach.

  

  

  Despite how many cars we saw in the lot, we didn’t see too many other humans until the second half of our hike. It was as if Zeus himself was smiting me by bringing the humans out at the most inopportune times. More on that later. Our first destination was the beach – to see the cove, and my goodness it did not disappoint.

  I certainly have my moments of wanting to travel wide and far, but it’s close to home spots like this that keep me somewhat grounded.

  

  We sat at the beach for a bit while Duncan watched three Osprey hover over the thermal vents and dive for fish. While he was watching a live showing of National Geographic I was admiring the surrounding hills feeling waves of nostalgia for other similar landscapes I have visited throughout my life.

  Memories are both beautiful and soul tugging at the same time.

  

  

  After pining over the views it was time to finish the trails. This is where things got sticky. Right next to the beach is a Ridge Trail that climbs up for maybe 5 minutes, and then climbs back down making a loop. I could have done without this trail because there were no views, and at the top there were SO.MANY.SLUGS. I’m talking big, fat, banana, brown – just vile.

  The path was so narrow that I had to walk far too close to them.

  

  Duncan was my knight in green polo shirt on this hike because I nearly had a panic attack. From here on slugs seemed to overtake the trails, live ones, dead ones, tree ones, grass ones, and the people came out of the woodwork making the trails even more narrow to walk on. I can’t tell you how many times I had to walk close to a slimy spawn of satan.

  If you’re new round these parts, I have a phobia of slugs. It’s weird, I know.

  I wanted to show Duncan the stump house, which is what this hike is known for, so I sucked it up and we pushed on. A quick hello to the stump house (essentially a large stump someone built a little “roof” onto), and we headed back to the car. Away from slug city.

  

  After our hike we drove to a nearby state park for a picnic, enjoying the last bit of sunshine. It was a lovely Brittany day, and I am quite certain Duncan enjoyed himself too. Aside from having to hold my hand like a small child when I couldn’t walk over the fallen trees covered with slugs. But hey, love knows no bounds.

  Today we set off for our first weekend getaway since our vacation to Glacier/Sawtooth’s LAST SUMMER. My first mini getaway in over a year. I’ve been a mess of a human for months, and I am so ready to spend some time away from home in a new to me city. Let’s hope we find good coffee, good views, and some good times.

  Q: What’s one of your phobias? Please make me feel better about myself by telling me you also have a really weird one.

  

  | 24 Comments Tagged Duncan, Hike, Phobia, PNW

• Joyful June

  Posted at 9:30 AM by Brittany, on June 28, 2022

  I am a sucker for a good alliteration (hence my corny blog URL circa 2011.) Nothing flows off the tongue quite like two words with the same first letter, and because I have been a bit of a pessimistic pill the last couple of months, I have decided to dedicate an entire post to more uplifting energy. I am trying my damndest to find joy in my everyday life despite the stagnation I feel.

  Not to worry, this is a normal way of existence for me. I don’t like the idea of settling for mundane, so when my life feels a bit monotonous I feel an uptick in anxiety. I have been coping, and there are indeed joyful days sprinkled amid the stale air in my lungs, but they do say you are your attitude after all.

  Without further adieu, let’s list five joyful specks in my life.

  

  1. Duncan. Ohhh Duncan. Where do I even begin? Duncan and I have a bit of an age gap. Erm, a decently significant age gap, as well as a plethora of differences. We had no idea where this relationship was going to go, and somedays we still don’t, but what I do know is that age has nothing to do with the ability to provide proper emotional support.

  Never have I ever dated someone who holds me so tightly when I cry.

  He has been such an unexpected blessing in my life, and I am thankful everyday to be shown what a meaningful relationship consists of. He also sometimes rocks a mustache giving me real Tom Selleck vibes. We celebrated our one year anniversary in April, and I went full high school prom proposal with a candy board.

  The idea was indeed borrowed, but the cringe worthy words were all my own. No shame.

  

  

  2. Hikes with friends. I have maintained a consistent fitness routine throughout the year, but my baseline hikes have been low-level adventures. I embarked on my first higher elevation hike a few weeks ago with two gal pals and I was sore for two days after. I don’t have many people around me that I truly enjoy investing my time in, but every so often a few slip through the cracks and we enjoy an outdoor adventure.

  Plus, I recently watched Grizzly Man for the first time, and have become absurdly afraid of bears. I don’t see many solo hikes in my future for a while.

  

  

  

  3. Torture Device. Aka my inversion table. Out of pure desperation after a year of consistent sciatic pain, I bought an inversion table. I had literally nothing to loose (except some money I suppose.) Nothing was working, I was in constant discomfort or pain, and my quality of life was suffering because of this unwelcome guest always nagging at my nerves.

  I cannot say if this has been exclusively what helped, but for about two weeks now I have had minimal discomfort allowing me to run again. I find this table to be a place of relaxation, and I can adjust how far back I want to go. Some days I only invert a little, and some days I invert more. I am a fan, and I will be keeping this tool in my repertoire.

  Also, shoutout to Duncan for helping me assemble this the day it came. I was extremely overwhelmed by the weight and the instructions, but he showed up at my door without being asked.

  

  4. Running. Running and I have had such an on again off again relationship. Recently I stopped running in attempt to help the above mentioned back issues (herniated disc), but I have been able to start again the last couple weeks and already it has improved my mood. I’m never without a weapon though, because running outside as a woman is always a gamble.

  The sad reality of the world we live in.

  

  5. My baby. Sometimes it’s hard for me to fathom how this tiny being had such a life threatening health concern four and a half years ago. I spent a lot of money to ensure he lived another day, and each day I have with him is now a blessing. He brings me so much joy, and his neediness over the last few years has been welcomed with open arms.

  Except when he humps me.

  

  I am thankful to have these pockets of joy in my life, but I also appreciate the ability to recognize that sometimes it’s ok to feel stuck. I’m realizing this is a recurring situation for me, and perhaps not just a short term struggle. Perhaps this is something I will continue to manage throughout my life. The up’s and the down’s are expected, but the waves feel more frequent than I would like at times.

  At the end of the day I know when I fall into these pockets of life my body is trying to tell me something. Typically a change is needed in some form, and I am trying to figure out where I want to start first. Change is not always easy, but it is almost always necessary. All things considered, I have become quite good at surfing these waves of life.

  Most days.

  Q: What is bringing you joy right now?

  

  | 21 Comments Tagged Duncan, Hiking, Life, PNW, Running

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on April 19, 2022

  1. Long time no talk. How about a “what’s new” Early Morning Confessions style post? For starters I got a new bike. I actually got a new mountain bike, but then realized I don’t like mountain biking much. I like forest service roads, and I like long distances through designated trails, but I don’t like single tracks.

  Thankfully I bought the bike at REI, and they have a fantastic return policy. So I returned this bike, and bought a new gravel bike instead. Oh, and I also had to order them both online. It’s hard to buy a bike online! The first bike was too big for me, but thankfully my new gravel gal is just right.

  My longest distance with her at one time thus far has been 20 miles. Our love affair is a slow build, as I am still getting used to drop handle bars.

  

  2. Duncan got a new bike too. Same story. Bought a mtn bike, and changed to gravel. We now have the same exact bike. I made sure we got different pedals though, we can’t be exactly the same after all. I now have three bikes, and I officially understand the n+1 problem when it comes to owning bikes…

  3. Speaking of Duncan, he and I went to a cat cafe recently and it was so unbelievably enjoyable. I’ve been wanting to do something like that for a while now, and we started small with a cafe close-ish to home. Seattle has a few bigger cafes we might visit in time, but Catffeinated was a great intro.

  

  4. I have been an absolute tornado in the kitchen the last month. Winter blues always bite me in the backside causing me to feel temptations I don’t normally feel during the warmer months, but it’s worse when I start to feel stagnant. I know this about myself – I start feeling a need for change and when I don’t make a change my brain starts to allow my body to take less care of itself.

  5. Case in point.

  

  6. Legendary Doughnuts was visited after the cat cafe, and inhibitions were down after an hour of kitty time. Duncan bought a dozen doughnuts and I decided to YOLO that day. What I am about to say next will be shocking, so brace yourself.

  We ate all but maybe 2 donuts in one day. ALL OF THEM.

  I know I need to go easy on myself when these splurges happen, but it can be hard to completely let go of food anxiety. At the end of the day I do not regret consuming my body weight in gluten filled pillows of sugar heaven, but it did take me 48 hours to feel like I could function normally. The joy’s of a 30 something with food sensitivities.

  7. Despite my tornado like behavior, I think my consistent activity helps to thwart any drastic changes to my body after these caloric surpluses. Hiking and biking are my best of friends. And Duncan, he is my best of friend too.

  

  

  8. At the end of March I had the stomach flu for 24 hours, and it was the most brutal experience I have endured in a very long time. I would rather have Covid again, than to ever puke for 8 hours straight. The lingering effects lasted for a few days, but I am thankful I didn’t have weeks of recovery like some do.

  9. I have the itch to work a seasonal job again, somewhere in the deep heart of Alaska, or Wyoming. I am not entirely against this idea, but I also have the itch to build a tiny little life in a tiny little space in a tiny little town with my tiny little cat in a tiny little hat.

  

  10. One week from today, Duncan and I will have been dating for a year. I am flabbergasted by this, for so many reasons. Perhaps I will write a post dedicated to Duncan and I, and some of our back story, but for now I say this – I am beyond blessed to have someone like him in my life. Swoon.

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 32 Comments Tagged Biking, Duncan, Early Morning Confessions, Hiking

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