Tag: Little

• Summer

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on September 14, 2023

  I have been all over the place lately. My mind has been scattered, stale, and stagnant. When my cat got sick back in May it threw me for a bit of a loop. Three months of daily morning medications, non stop monitoring of symptoms and bathroom habits, and trying new foods. This meant I wasn’t finding much time for myself and what I enjoy doing. It took another month before I felt comfortable leaving him alone for a night. I can blame my anxiety for that one.

  I would go to the ends of the world for this cat, and I am thankful he is stable and doing well, but admittedly I have felt a bit lost as to where my focus should be directed.

  I couldn’t see much past the basics, going to work, and spending time with Little. I knew I needed to spend some time out of my house, and while Duncan is a huge support to me, we have differing desires for how to spend our free time. We compromise most weekends, but in an attempt to let Duncan off the hook (because let’s face it, if someone isn’t overly interested in hiking giant mountains, it’s not fun for anyone) I befriended my coworker Caitlin.

  

  It’s no secret I enjoy spending most of my free time outside. It’s not only physically beneficial for me, but mentally as well. I thrive knowing I have weekend plans to hike a mountain or travel somewhere new, and I’m kicking myself for taking so long to ask Caitlin to hangout outside of work. We have been working closely together for around two years now, but I knew she kept to herself on her weekends.

  We slowly learned over time that we had similar humor, similar interests, and there was something about her I knew I would click with. She invited me to go kayaking with her back in June and from there I knew it was game on. We talked about hiking a local trail in passing one day, and I decided to make it happen. Since our first hike together in July we have been making a habit of hiking as often as we can. She is up for any hike I throw her way, and it has been so helpful for my mental health to have someone I can go on bigger adventures with.

  

  Making friends as an adult is hard. There is no way around that. Making friends as an emotionally charged introvert is ever harder. I am very sensitive to peoples energies and I can almost immediately tell if I am not going to vibe with someone. As children we are told to be friends with anyone and everyone, but as an adult I have become the polar opposite. If I don’t like your energy, I will not spend time with you.

  This is nothing to apologize for, not everyone is for everyone and that’s ok.

  Whenever I am feeling stuck or stale there is usually a correlation. I am either not doing the things that bring me joy, or I don’t have a community of people around me who shares similar interests. My job will never be my source of joy, or purpose, therefor it’s imperative for me to continue finding ways to connect with the world and the people around me outside of where I make money.

  

  I wasn’t sure if I would have many summer adventures this year. Keeping close to Little has been my main priority the last handful of months, but I have been able to sprinkle a hike in most weekends since Caitlin and I started hiking together. We have a few more planned, some of which Duncan will tag along on, and I am directing my focus on enjoying the little things in life.

  This first hike Caitlin and I did was one I had hiked back in 2014, and then again in 2015. It had been so long I didn’t remember anything about it. This was my first “bigger” hike in a while, and it felt good to get my lungs working again. The sun was out for the first half of this hike, but as we reached the top the clouds moved in, allowing sporadic pockets of views. I made sure to give Caitlin the best view of my face, a look reserved for true friends.

  

  

  As it turns out I had summer adventures after all. I hiked, I picked blueberries and blackberries, I ran, I rode my bike, I read three books, I took countless evening and morning drives with Little to see horses and sheep and chickens, I went on walks with friends, I spent time with people I love, and I never had to stray too far from my child. I am excited for fall and the hiking to come, and I am excited to continue finding pockets of joy in the simplicity of my happily mundane life.

  Q: Did you travel far this summer? Let me live through you.

  

  | 31 Comments Tagged Hiking, Little, Summer

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on July 31, 2023

  1. I have a lot of random things to write, and what better way than an Early Morning Confessions post. For starters, just before Duncan and I took our vacation we celebrated my childs 15th birthday. We bought party hats, I gave him a pâté of prescription food (which he no longer eats) sprinkled with fish flakes, we bought gifts, and we sang to him.

  I was certain the gift I bought him would be a hit (pink ball with green fuzzy worm), while the gift Duncan bought would be a dud (a catnip stuffed cigar because he is an old man now, as Duncan said.) Come to find out he was terrified of my gift (the bouncy ball sent him running) and obsessed with Duncans. Go figure.

  

  

  

  

  2. That tiny black ball of fur is my best pal. He brings me so much joy and I am certain he is my soul cat. I’m not sure we get more than one soul pet in our lives, and I have never felt a bond with an animal the way I do with him. Shortly after returning from vacation he had a week long spell of vomiting, and was eating less than normal. He was due for a senior check up so I took him in.

  After three days in a row of testing and specialists he was diagnosed with IBD, pancreatitis and he was incredibly constipated. He was put on steroids to help with inflammation and I completely overhauled his diet. Changing his food was nerve wracking because although I was certain his food was contributing to the problem (prescription urinary food filled with gargbage), I was worried he would get another urinary blockage (he had one in 2018 that almost killed him.)

  It’s been two months of daily steroids (we are currently on the taper), trying multiple types of food, and absolute exhaustion and stress for me. The vomiting has stopped, and I found a probiotic that has helped his poops, but I still have daily anxiety. I’m struggling to let go of the obsessive control to heal him. I am doing everything I can to ensure he is ok for the rest of his life.

  He may have turned 15 recently, but I expect at least 2-3 more years with him.

  3. Back in May, the weekend before the journey with Little (my cat) began, I went for a hike with three gal pals I met in Germany. Galiya, a friend who I became close with at a time when I needed friendship was coming to visit her pal Sarah in Bend, OR. I knew Sarah, but we didn’t spend any time together. Galiya, Sarah, and I met up with Paige, a friend who I worked with and greatly enjoyed who now lives in Portland.

  We hiked Dog Mountain, a trail I had been wanting to hike for a while. This was such a beautiful day of reunion and I would give anything for close friends to live nearby.

  

  

  

  4. My car is from 2007 and had the most ugly, disgustingly clouded headlights for years. I didn’t care much, but at a recent oil change (I go to the Toyota dealership), I was asked if I wanted my headlights restored FOR OVER $150!!! Absolutely not. I decided to try it myself and used this Rain-X product for $20.

  I was chuffed with the results, and 10/10 would use again.

  5. The summer is here in full force, but I haven’t done many fun activities. Between selling my soul to corporate America and spending time with Little, I haven’t had much space for anything else. I have had a few walk/hikes I have enjoyed, gone for plenty of runs, and a few noteworthy bike rides, but I am longing for a weekend getaway.

  I don’t see many getaways in my future for quite some time, but I would give up all the vacations in my life to spend more time with my fur babe.

  

  

  

  6. This song has made it onto my liked songs on Spotify, and I listen to it often. I first heard it on Instagram, then I found it on YouTube, and I try to show everyone I can. I showed my mom last week and we both cried we were laughing so hard.

  7. Have I talked about Little too much in this post? I think that’s impossible, so here is another fun fact. Due to his recent IBD diagnosis I have stopped letting him in the backyard. He eats too much grass which results in vomiting and irritation. Backyard adventures were his favorite, and in an attempt to keep him stimulated/avoid boredom and depression I have found a new adventure.

  We now go on car rides.

  I experimented a bit ago by putting him in my car sans carrier, and driving slowly around the block. I wanted to ensure he would be chill, and once I saw how he behaved we moved to longer and further rides. I do not take him on the freeway/highway like this, but slower back roads have become a joy for us both. He LOVES these rides.

  We even went to Duncans for a few hours one day, which he enjoyed until he didn’t anymore.

  

  

  

  8. Consumerism is driving me mad. I have always struggled with the idea of having too many “things”, but it wasn’t until I worked in a retail setting that I saw the effects of: “more, more, more.” Sure, I like buying things that I will use, and I have been known to buy things I likely don’t need, but on such an elevated scale where people around me treat buying and selling “stuff” like it’s life or death – I just can’t.

  9. I don’t normally like water activities. I’m more of a land gal, but in an attempt to push outside of my comfort zone I went kayaking with one of my coworker/friends recently. I rented an ORU Kayak (these fold up/down for easier transportation and storage), and accompanied her to a nearby lake for an evening paddle.

  The kayak was a pain in the ass to set up, not all of them are as intricate as the one I used, but once it was ready to glide I loved it.

  

  10. I am feeling quite lonely these days. No matter where I am in my life I struggle to find people who “get me.” Most of the people I am surrounded by are surface level friendships, or acquaintances. It’s rare for me to find someone I connect with deeply, and this leads to me feeling like the odd man out around most people.

  Some seasons of life I have more connections than others, but people move/life changes, and when I start feeling like this I allow myself to feel the heaviness that comes with a lack of community. A reminder to continue fostering my deeper friendships from afar. As with all things in life it’s an ebb and flow, and the times of loneliness make the deeper connections all the more special.

  Q: What’s your confession?

  

  | 30 Comments Tagged Early Morning Confessions, Life, Little

• Early Morning Confessions

  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on December 29, 2020

  1. I have been struggling to write here for two months. Not because I don’t want to write, but rather everything I want to say feels a bit…heavy. I have instead been spewing these thoughts into my journal and avoiding this space. An Early Morning Confessions post feels an appropriate way to ease back into writing here, while sharing a bit of what’s been going on in my world.

  2. My anxiety lately has been through the roof. I have become quite good at accepting my emotions for what they are instead of trying to “fix” them, but right now I feel like I’m drowning. I am a firm believer that depression and anxiety are simply a way for our body to physically tell us something is out of alignment. I know moving back to my hometown is a large part of this anxiety, but for now I feel the need to sit with it.

  

  3. It has taken me years, and I mean YEARS to get to a place in my life where exercise is no longer a punishment for something I have eaten. I am not perfect in this, and I still have moments of “relapse” with the unhealthy way of thinking, but I have finally begun a morning routine that is almost strictly to manage my anxiety. It’s a wonderful place to be. I have been jogging, and after years of avoiding this activity because of my autoimmune disease it feels good.

  4. I am thankful for my job, and I work for an incredible company, but I grapple with my mind almost everyday before work. I am in an entirely new to me field, and the lack of intuitive knowledge I have makes me extremely uncomfortable. My perfectionism continues to literally kill me. Somehow over the years my ability to work with people has diminished. You would never know if you were to work with me, I am great at wearing a mask, but I long for a job that allows me to work more behind the scenes. Give me a task, and set me free to work on it…alone. 

  

  5. I have been back in Washington for three months, and I miss Germany every single day. The hardest part is that my life in Germany feels like a distant memory, like a foggy dream. I often feel like it never really happened. I didn’t expect to come “home” and talk about this experience 24/7, but I did expect to talk about it. I have talked very little about my life the last two years, and this has left a gaping hole in my soul. The worst part is that even if I were to talk about it, only someone who has experienced a similar cultural shift would truly understand. 

  6. I haven’t ridden my bike since October 20th. A combination of weather and the lack of places to ride near by have given me little to no motivation. I would give anything for one more day on those Bavarian bike paths…

  

  7. In January of 2014 I lost my menstrual cycle. It took me five years of obsessive reading, experimenting, and self discovery to finally put in the work and restore this problem. In December of 2019, after committing to eating more and gaining (a lot) of weight, my cycle returned. This month marks one FULL YEAR of healthy, clockwork consistent cycles. It hasn’t been easy, and my hormones have been WILD, but this process is showing me just how resilient I am.

  8. I bought an advent calendar from Starbucks back in the day, one that could be reused, any my mom refilled it this year. I had something to open everyday and it brought such joy to my days.

  

  9. One of the main reasons I decided to stay with my family for a bit was to finally take the time to be still. I needed to allow residual trauma to work its way though my body, find a therapist to have consistent conversations with, and discover what I truly want in my life. I do believe a lot of my anxiety and depression is stemming from this trauma moving around, but I haven’t been diligent in finding a therapist. While this is still an important part of my journey, sitting with the discomfort alone is also necessary. 

  10. Despite everything I have shared in this post, I am doing ok. I am blessed with an amazing family, I have a cat best friend who is glued to my hip, and I have faith that I will continue to walk through this season of life with my head held high. To feel pain is to be human, and running from these emotions only prolongs the healing process. I know a lot of us are struggling more than usual right now with all the chaos of the world, but I hope you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

  

  Q: What’s your confession?

  | 33 Comments Tagged Early Morning Confessions, Life, Little, Washington

• 

• 

• Search for:
• BRITTANY- Self proclaimed minimalistic nomad striving to maintain a balanced, healthy life with good food, long hikes, deep connections, exploration, and lots of potatoes.

• If this blog does not meet your standards, please lower your standards.

• Contact: blissfulbritt@yahoo.com

• ¿Quieres Más?

  Like my witty attitude and delightful charm? Enter your
  e-mail below for the party to come straight to your inbox!

  Email Address:

  Follow the adventure

  Join 4,725 other subscribers
• 

•