Blissfulbritt

- Duckabush River Trail
  
  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on March 1, 2021
  
  When I first started hiking more consistently in 2014, I spent most of my time exploring the Cascades of Washington State. I dabbled a bit in the Olympics, but not nearly as much as the Cascades. My first consistent hiking partner lived in Seattle, an area much closer to the Cascades, so I would meet him in the city and we would go from there.
  
  Occasionally he would come to my side of the water where the Olympics are, but we both felt more of a draw towards the Cascades.
  
  Then my hiking partner moved, I couldn’t find any other willing participants, and I began hiking alone. My mountain range of choice was still the Cascades, because somehow I felt more comfortable hiking there alone. In the beginning of my solo hiking endeavors I spent a lot of time on trails I was already familiar with, but eventually explored some new to me trails as well.
  
  Fast forward many years, and I have spent more time in the Olympics this past month than I did in all of 2014.
  
  I have managed to weasel my way into a somewhat consistent group of hiking pals, and these adventures have quickly become a highlight of my week. I have recently seen three new areas of the Olympics, places I would never go if I were alone. There is something deep, and vast about the Olympics.
  
  This isn’t a bad thing, but there is an eerie energy about these mossy trees and muddy trails that give the feeling of complete isolation.
  
  In a group setting the strong sound of a raging river, or the absolute silence of wide open woods is welcomed. Alone, these auditory stimulations are a quick reminder of just how small we are in these endless mountains of trees and terrain. I have shared a few photos from my hikes the last month in previous posts, but today I share a proper trail report.
  
  The latest mountain adventure took my pals and I to the Duckabush River Trail, a 10.5 mile moderately rated hike deep in the heart of the Olympics. The early bird not only catches the worm, but also catches a good parking spot. Although hiking in the winter months on less populated trails will also help with that. All of the hikes I’ve done the last month have had little to no other humans around for miles.
  
  I’m stoked to have friends who also believe in the power of an early start, it can be like pulling an abscessed tooth with some people convincing them to get a head start.
  
  This trail starts out mostly flat with a bit of a down hill grade, weaving in and out of large lichen covered trees and a few small stream crossings. Despite the fact we were hiking in February, the trail conditions were excellent. Nothing a good pair of waterproof shoes cannot combat. It’s somewhat comical to think I have been hiking for as long as I have, and only recently purchased a pair of waterproof shoes.
  
  I still wear trail runners though, because I am adamantine with footwear and cannot commit to the extreme discomfort of a hiking boot.
  
  The weather was moody and wet for the first half of our hike, and despite the trail name there was only a small section that hugged parallel with the river. The terrain was ever-changing and the cooler temps were a welcomed reprieve when we reached some quick, but steep switchbacks bringing us to an expansive view of the valley below.
  
  I’m much quicker when the external temperature is cold, I give off heat like a personal portable furnace.
  
  Our first vantage point was a large rock fit for baby Simba, and we stopped to appreciate the view. After the switchbacks to this rock the trail is moderate again, moving onto the backside of the mountain we had just climbed. Endless rows of burned trees guided us down towards our destination next to the river. We encountered a small amount of snow on the backside of the hike, but nothing my Salomon trail runners couldn’t handle.
  
  Upon arrival at the river we sat and savored a snack before making the trek back to the car.
  
  The sit at the river brought my core temperature lower than comfortable, and I was quite chilly as we ate our snacks. As if by the Grace of God when we started our walk back the clouds dispersed and the sun came out to play. We were much quicker on the way back, per usual, and managed to finish the hike in a little over six hours. I appreciate the desire to stop and savor the views along the way, as well as the focus to get back to the car after we’ve seen all there is to see.
  
  This group of pals reminds me of the three solid guy friends I hiked with regularly while I was living in Yellowstone, one of which was my absolute savior during those intense but amazing months in the wilderness.
  
  When the spring and summer months arrive, I plan to spend more time in the Cascades. The sweeping peaks of those mountains are a welcomed challenge, one that will remind me of how fortunate I am to have found a balance in living life with an autoimmune disease. Each day brings forth new challenges, but I have dialed down what I need in order to keep up with these three hooligans, or any others I embark into the mountains with.
  
  Until then, I will relish in these lowland hikes through the woods of the Olympics. A forest unlike any other I have seen.
  
  Q: Are you a fan of winter hiking?
  
  | 27 Comments Tagged Hiking, Olympic Mountains, PNW, Washington
- Filtering Fear
  
  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on February 22, 2021
  
  I am an anxious person. This is not news, but as I continue to navigate my way through life I continue trying to find the “why” behind my feelings/emotions/behaviors. Fear and anxiety are hardwired into our psychology for good reason – these intuitive emotions help to protect us from dangerous situations. Fear can act as a motivator to prepare us for the unexpected, but fear can also act as a paralytic.
  
  My fear has somehow evolved over time from a healthy and mindful reminder of my boundaries, to an unkempt field of weeds.
  
  The thing about me is that while I acknowledge that I am anxious and overly fearful at times, I am also actively working against myself to determine what is real, and what is not. I am quite literally filtering through my fears. What is causing me to feel anxious most of the time is a false reality somehow skewed by my experiences over time. When we try to repress these thoughts or feelings we continue to stay stuck in an unhealthy cycle, making poor choices along the way. When we acknowledge these thoughts or feelings we grow.
  
  I choose to swim through these thoughts rather than allow them to drown me.
  
  Life experiences play a large role in our mental health, but I truly believe that a significant amount of our dysphoria is reflective of our physical bodies as well. Hormonal imbalances, and digestive distresses are key factors in our mental health. The gut is referred to as our second brain for a reason, the close knit inner workings of our true brain and our guts are very real. What we think we feel, and what we feel we think.
  
  The reason we feel like we need to rush to the bathroom when we are nervous, or when we feel a pain in our stomach when we are afraid, is all relative to these homeostatic relationships within our bodies.
  
  I have a borderline obsession with researching the topic of physical and mental health correlations, and the knowledge I have gained has me often wanting to scream the benefits of proper nutrition and lifestyle from the tallest mountain. Sometimes though, these basic humanistic necessities aren’t enough to balance our inner beings, and we need a little help from external sources. My hormones have been out of whack for an unreasonable amount of time, and I recently decided to experiment with a herbal hormone balancing blend.
  
  I am blown away by the results.
  
  For the first time in what feels like lightyears I feel balanced. I feel stable. I feel less anxious and less “down.” I’m not saying this is a magic bullet, but I do believe in the power of nature helping to bring us back to our factory setting. My mood the last month has been lighter, I have been more sociable, I have been more empathetic, more compassionate. I have been more…whole.
  
  My fear is still hanging around, but most of the scenarios in which I feel fearful are realistic.
  
  Examples of appropriate fear I have recently felt are: not wanting to drive in the snow, and challenging the idea of a hike in the snow. Snow and I are not good pals. I once got lost for hours on a hike because of snow, and I have slid too many times on the roads because of snow. Examples of inappropriate fear I have recently felt are: fear of rejection, and wanting to cancel on friends because I fear being a burden. Spoiler alert – a worthy friend will never make you feel like a burden.
  
  With downs come ups, and it feels good to be on the other end of this yo-yo. I know the downs are inevitable, but I’ll take the ups for as long as I can. With the shift in my mood I have had more of a desire to be social, to get out of my comfort bubble of isolation and spend more time with others. I am thankful to have met new pals who enjoy hiking as much as I do, and each “yes” I say when I am invited on a hike helps propel me further forward.
  
  I turned 32 last week, and while I had big plans of spending every year of my 30’s in Europe, Covid had other plans. Instead I went for a hike with three new pals. A snowy, wet, adventurous, new to me hike. I swear I just turned 30, yet here we are already at 32. The older I get the more I reflect on my life in my 20’s. Somedays I feel I have made zero progress in my life, but each year I make moves in the right direction. I no longer feel the need to “fix” my problems. I am content in diving deep to the roots of what I am feeling.
  
  The beauty of change.
  
  It’s ok to feel fear. It’s ok to feel anxious. What’s not ok is letting these feelings control you. The beneficial fear is directly related to physical safety, while the rest of it is a result of over thinking, societal conditions, and unresolved trauma from earlier in life. I am finding joy in this process of working through the weeds I have grown in my mind. For so long I have avoided my own mental garden, but how freeing it feels to be so in tune with myself.
  
  What would happen if we looked at the bigger picture of our lives? If we are feeling more anxious, more fearful, or more down than normal. Are we taking care of our physical body? Have we allowed ourselves to work through any weeds in our minds? Are we spending time with others, in whatever manner works for us with the current state of the world? This is a classic case of what came first, the mental or physical ailments? Small changes in the things we can control have the power to make large changes in the things we cannot.
  
  I am one year older, but I feel multiple years wiser. I can only imagine this continues to get better as I continue to age.
  
  To anyone out there who feels paralyzed by fear, you are not alone. I challenge you to question the root cause of these feelings, and to filter out what is true and what is conditioned over years of imbalances. Say yes to something that scares you, tell someone how you feel about them, value your worth because you only get one shot at this thing called life.
  
  We can choose to stay stuck in the shadows, or we can learn to dance in the sun.
  
  Q: How do you deal with fear?
  
  | 32 Comments Tagged Anxiety, Fear, Hiking, Life, Mental Health
- Pushing Through
  
  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on February 2, 2021
  
  I recently posted a photo on Instagram with a “deep” and somewhat recurring theme for me, something I alluded to in my previous post. The words are ones I have been mulling on for years, but just when I start to lean into these words I get up and run. Typically around the three month mark of being in my hometown, my restless soul is rearing up for another adventure, another escape, another opportunity to outrun my emotions.
  
  But this time I am still – immobile in the grand scheme of things.
  
  I realize the reason this theme is so constant for me is because it’s taken me nearly a decade to work through a myriad of life events. I start to dive deep, write a blog post about my feelings, and then I flee before the real work is done. If you’ve been around this space of the internet for a while, you’ll know I’ve shared similar struggles for what feels like lightyears, and I often feel like I am prattling with these posts, but what I wrote on Instagram encompasses what I’ve needed to do for quite some time…
  
  “Coming back to my hometown is always hard for me. There are emotions and experiences stuck in time here, and when I move away a small part of me is trying to escape them.
  
  I came back this time because I knew I needed to sit with these feelings, to grieve lost friendships and relationships, to allow myself to fall on my face without the nagging judgmental voice of my ego, and to figure out what I need in order to heal and move forward.
  
  All of these things are possible anywhere in the world, but I find when I’m off on adventures my focus is elsewhere. So here, in this town I can’t help but feel stagnant and stuck in, I find myself face to face with the same emotions I’m always trying to outrun.
  
  Call it growth, call it adulting, or simply call it burn out…but I’ve been allowing myself to feel so many things since moving back. It’s not easy, it’s certainly not fun, and there are plenty of times I want to jump in my car and drive far away, but I stay. I stay in these feelings because deep in my heart I know the only way out is through.”
  
  Despite my broken record like posts the last few years, something is different this time. This time I am not running away. I am doing “the work” no matter how uncomfortable it might be. I’ve officially reached the point of no return, and I cannot take this cycle anymore. It’s time to move forward. So I have been spending time with myself in isolation, while also challenging myself to be more social. I struggle with meeting new people, but I know these struggles stem from deep rooted fears most of us experience from childhood.
  
  I am not great at small talk, the superficial conversations make me uncomfortable and anxious.
  
  However, I know without these awkward initial engagements with other humans it’s nearly impossible to make friends. So often I dismiss a relationship before it even begins because I hold out for those rare people I click with immediately. I crave long, deep, vulnerable conversations with people who listen and who share parts of their brokenness few others have seen. I’ve only had a few of those people cross my path within the last decade, and as much as I wish all friendships could start this way I do believe some friendships flourish after time.
  
  Unless you’re an animal. I will forever be the introvert in the corner with the animals.
  
  Side note: I bought my cat a handmade wool cat cave…and I feel great joy every time he goes inside.
  
  One of the reasons I chose my current job was because I knew it would be a place of comity, filled with people who like to hike, explore, bike, and whatever else we can get into outside. Despite the common interests in activities like hiking, I still feel anxious when committing to spending time with my coworkers outside of work. Typically when I decide to push myself out of my comfort zone I move across the country…or the world…but right now I am pushing myself to be more social close to home.
  
  Meeting new people is a crucial part of my healing journey, and it will be impossible for me to rewrite the narratives I have about myself without putting myself out there.
  
  I recently went on two hikes with two separate groups of people from work, and both excursions were good not only for my mind and my body, but also for my soul. The first hike I embarked on was one I have done many times before. In fact this used to be one of my favorite solo hikes, making it somewhat ironic I decided to hike this with three other people. While I am not usually a fan of larger groups, having more than one “new” person makes it a bit less overwhelming for me.
  
  I am very picky with my friends, but once I feel comfortable with someone I am an open book. Truthfully I can be an open book right off the bat, if only someone shows a genuine interest. For so much of my life I have been around people who don’t show interest in what I have to say, or they listen just to reply. This has conditioned me to keep to myself, but it has also allowed me to appreciate those special souls I meet who want to hear what I have to say.
  
  This aversion to other humans is something I have struggled with since the endless gaslighting of a previous relationship, causing me to question everything about myself.
  
  This old hike with new friends was a nice push for me to get outside and start breaking open my shell of introversion. The only way to become more comfortable with discomfort is to continue pushing through. Four days later, I agreed to another hike with three guys I work with. This adventure ended up being a full day – 12 miles through mud, snow, flooded trail sections, many downed trees, and it was a blast.
  
  I tend to get along with people of all ages, but I don’t have many friends my own age. I attribute this to the fact I continue to flounder in life while most people my age have “careers.” What I love about my job is the employees range from 18 all the way to late 60’s/70’s. The first group I hiked with I was the youngest, the second I was the oldest, and yet both times were enjoyable for different reasons.
  
  My soul tends to connect with fellow old souls, and I have discovered physical age has nothing to do with the age of our souls.
  
  As I continue to grow and push myself towards personal melioration I find comfort in the discomfort. Each time my throat tightens up before a night filled with tears, when my chest aches at the thought of a lost love, or when I let go of the obsessive control over my body and what I eat, I feel oddly comforted. I know in these times of pain there is a future of flourishing.
  
  How joyful we could be as humans if we only took the time to work through our brokenness.
  
  I’m writing this post to say I am in a place of comfortable discomfort. I don’t know if that makes sense, but despite the underlying anxiety I feel most days, I know I am where I’m meant to be at this moment in time. I am enjoying meeting new people, destroying the false narratives in my mind, and finally allowing moments of the past and present to work their way through my mind. It’s amazing what we can discover if we only take a moment to put away the distractions of life and press the pause button.
  
  So here’s to pushing through. Through the discomfort, through the sadness, through the joy, through the laughter, and through the pain. Being human is one wild ride, but what a blessing it is to have the freedom to explore who we are, and what we need. One step, one day, one minute at a time.
  
  Q: How are you taking time for yourself lately?
  
  | 23 Comments Tagged Hiking, Life, Reflection
- Early Morning Confessions
  
  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on December 29, 2020
  
  1. I have been struggling to write here for two months. Not because I don’t want to write, but rather everything I want to say feels a bit…heavy. I have instead been spewing these thoughts into my journal and avoiding this space. An Early Morning Confessions post feels an appropriate way to ease back into writing here, while sharing a bit of what’s been going on in my world.
  
  2. My anxiety lately has been through the roof. I have become quite good at accepting my emotions for what they are instead of trying to “fix” them, but right now I feel like I’m drowning. I am a firm believer that depression and anxiety are simply a way for our body to physically tell us something is out of alignment. I know moving back to my hometown is a large part of this anxiety, but for now I feel the need to sit with it.
  
  3. It has taken me years, and I mean YEARS to get to a place in my life where exercise is no longer a punishment for something I have eaten. I am not perfect in this, and I still have moments of “relapse” with the unhealthy way of thinking, but I have finally begun a morning routine that is almost strictly to manage my anxiety. It’s a wonderful place to be. I have been jogging, and after years of avoiding this activity because of my autoimmune disease it feels good.
  
  4. I am thankful for my job, and I work for an incredible company, but I grapple with my mind almost everyday before work. I am in an entirely new to me field, and the lack of intuitive knowledge I have makes me extremely uncomfortable. My perfectionism continues to literally kill me. Somehow over the years my ability to work with people has diminished. You would never know if you were to work with me, I am great at wearing a mask, but I long for a job that allows me to work more behind the scenes. Give me a task, and set me free to work on it…alone.
  
  5. I have been back in Washington for three months, and I miss Germany every single day. The hardest part is that my life in Germany feels like a distant memory, like a foggy dream. I often feel like it never really happened. I didn’t expect to come “home” and talk about this experience 24/7, but I did expect to talk about it. I have talked very little about my life the last two years, and this has left a gaping hole in my soul. The worst part is that even if I were to talk about it, only someone who has experienced a similar cultural shift would truly understand.
  
  6. I haven’t ridden my bike since October 20th. A combination of weather and the lack of places to ride near by have given me little to no motivation. I would give anything for one more day on those Bavarian bike paths…
  
  7. In January of 2014 I lost my menstrual cycle. It took me five years of obsessive reading, experimenting, and self discovery to finally put in the work and restore this problem. In December of 2019, after committing to eating more and gaining (a lot) of weight, my cycle returned. This month marks one FULL YEAR of healthy, clockwork consistent cycles. It hasn’t been easy, and my hormones have been WILD, but this process is showing me just how resilient I am.
  
  8. With that said, I have become obsessed with researching how my cycle affects…everything. My mood, my skin, my physical body. EVERYTHING. The clockwork like cycle has shown me what is normal for me during certain times of the month. If I am in my luteal phase y’all better stand back.
  
  9. One of the main reasons I decided to stay with my family for a bit was to finally take the time to be still. I needed to allow residual trauma to work its way though my body, find a therapist to have consistent conversations with, and discover what I truly want in my life. I do believe a lot of my anxiety and depression is stemming from this trauma moving around, but I haven’t been diligent in finding a therapist. While this is still an important part of my journey, sitting with the discomfort alone is also necessary.
  
  10. Despite everything I have shared in this post, I am doing ok. I am blessed with an amazing family, I have a cat best friend who is glued to my hip, and I have faith that I will continue to walk through this season of life with my head held high. To feel pain is to be human, and running from these emotions only prolongs the healing process. I know a lot of us are struggling more than usual right now with all the chaos of the world, but I hope you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
  
  Q: What’s your confession?
  
  | 33 Comments Tagged Early Morning Confessions, Life, Little, Washington
- One Month in America
  
  Posted at 7:10 AM by Brittany, on October 29, 2020
  
  I have been back in America for a little over a month now, and to say the transition was smooth like butter would be false. Physically my flight home was uneventful, I managed to weasel my way back into my home country unscathed during this chaotic pandemic, but emotionally I am not feeling whole.
  
  I left Germany a week earlier than planned due to an outbreak of Coronavirus at the hotel I was working. 20+ staff members tested positive, and after receiving a negative result I felt the need to get out. I have never been so thankful to be a recluse. (The spread occurred during a night of partying among my irresponsible peers.)
  
  I managed one last long bike ride before I left, something I wouldn’t realize how badly I needed until after I returned home.
  
  The most stressful part about moving, aside from the emotional turmoil, was deconstructing, packaging, and shipping my bike. I had wanted to attempt taking the bike apart on my own, but when I couldn’t remove the pedals (the easiest part) I began to panic.
  
  I contemplated leaving the bike, I have a tendency to quit when I get overwhelmed.
  
  By the grace of God my housing manager came to my rescue and not only helped me take it apart (he had to call for backup with the pedals), but he helped me box it and then drove me to the post office. In typical Brittany fashion I didn’t know how to handle this act of kindness.
  
  I continuously offered to pay him, and thanked him endlessly.
  
  There are many things I am not good at, and accepting help without some form of payment in return is one of them. I feel like a bother when someone goes out of their way to help me, and this was a good test for me to just accept the act of kindness.
  
  With the bike boxed and shipped I was able to enjoy my final day in Bavaria.
  
  I wish I could say leaving Garmisch was easy. I wish I could say coming home felt like walking into a warm hug, or drinking a cup of my favorite coffee, but it wasn’t and it didn’t. I am thankful and fortunate to be with my family right now, and I am so happy to see them, but my heart aches for a life in Bavaria.
  
  Leaving Germany was a hard decision. My job was not a good fit for me, the environment in which I was living was toxic, and being away from my family in the midst of the American chaos was hard. I knew deep down I needed to take a step back and reevaluate what was next for me.
  
  Now that I am back, the numbness that had slowly begun to develop within the last year has grown.
  
  I have been aware of the missing piece to my emotional puzzle for a while now, but I am still searching for it. I am taking each day as it comes and finding pockets of joy along the way. Biking was once my therapy, and this is what I miss the most about Bavaria. When my bike made it to America I nearly cried. Just like seeing an old friend.
  
  And to think I almost left her behind…
  
  Sadly the bike paths here are…well…non existent. I know there are some out there, but I am not finding anything comparable to Bavaria. I have accepted that biking here will be different, but my motivation to ride has been at an all time low. I currently live near endless roads filled with cars, something of a damper with regard to biking.
  
  Change is never easy, but we go through the motions nonetheless. I know how easy it is to fall into a slump, so I have been keeping myself busy in order to combat too much down time. All the while honoring my emotions – the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
  
  I have spent time with an old pal, a comfort comparable to biking. We walk, we talk, we hike, we do fall activities.
  
  I have spent time with family, we share meals, we do fall activities, we sit in silence with each other.
  
  I have spent time in the mountains, gone on walks with my sister, read books, and journaled my thoughts.
  
  I got a job, because despite the fact I had planned to just “be” for a minute upon my return, the American society will forever be embedded in my soul and I felt like a bum being back for a week without a job.
  
  These things keep me busy until I figure out what’s next. Or maybe this is what’s next. I don’t know. What I do know is the act of not knowing is normal. Accepting this is the first step to emotional freedom. I am here, I am well, I am blessed, and I am alive.
  
  I miss Germany everyday. Something about returning to my hometown always makes me feel a bit stagnant. It’s not that the town is terrible, I’ve just outgrown it. It’s not my town, but at this rate I don’t know if I really have “a town.” My town is wherever I happen to be at this moment in time.
  
  I will forever be thankful for my last six months in Germany. Without the shutdowns and restrictions I never would have biked as much as I did. I may be on a temporary biking break, but this will be a sport I carry with me for life. At the end of the day words cannot describe how happy I am to be away from the toxic work/living environment, and to be back with my cat.
  
  It’s not all sad news over here.
  
  Q: How are you holding up? I know we’re also still in a pandemic, which only adds to the emotional turmoil. We’re all in this together.
  
  | 36 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Brittanys Life Abroad, Change, Fall
- Tre Cime di Lavaredo
  
  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on September 30, 2020
  
  Three years ago I wrote a post about the time I visited the Cliffs of Moher, a place I had once seen in a photograph and immediately became enamored by. Today I am going to share another location I finally had the chance to see in real time after seeing a photograph many years prior. I don’t remember the first photo I saw of the Italian Dolomites, but I remember seeing the jagged rocks and lush green valleys knowing I had to visit.
  
  I’m sad to say I lived in southern Germany (THREE hours away from the Dolomites) for nearly two years, and it wasn’t until the very end of my time that I made the Dolomites a priority. I moved back to Washington two Fridays ago (a sudden decision to leave a week earlier than planned), but not before squeezing in a long awaited (and definitely not the last) trip to the Dolomites.
  
  My last day of work was 09 Sept, and my favorite travel pal MaryBeth and I rented a car on 11 Sept and set off for a weekend away in Italy. The Dolomites are huge, and I had no idea where to begin, so I chose one of the most popular trails for an introduction to the Dolomites. The Tre Cime di Lavaredo loop is walked by many, but for good reason.
  
  The ever-changing landscape truly showcases a little bit of everything. I am amazed by the beauty of these Italian Alps.
  
  MaryBeth and I chose a quaint hotel to stay at within a 30 minute drive to our hike of choice. We chose this hotel because of the free breakfast, which did not disappoint. Due to our friend Covid, breakfast wasn’t buffet style like the photos implied, but this was probably for the best. Too many chocolate croissants and I’d have to be rolled up the mountain, but boy is there something magical about Italian espresso and a chocolate croissant. We arrived on Friday early enough to settle in, and to prepare for our full day of exploring.
  
  After our breakfast on Saturday we made our way to the trail head. The drive was about 30 minutes, and thanks to my prior research I was prepared for the 30 euro toll fee in order to drive the road to the trail. I assume this has to do with the popularity of the trail, but if you really don’t want to pay the fee you can park and walk (or take a bus.) I typically entertain the idea of walking, but I’m thankful we didn’t.
  
  This would have been a rough end to our hike.
  
  We began our trek around 0945, after a handful of minutes searching for the clockwise entrance to the trail head. I had read to follow the trail in the opposite direction than most because the views are better. I couldn’t find the trail, so we decided to walk the traditional route. After completing the loop I can agree the views would have been better going the opposite way, but at the end of the day the views are amazing regardless. I realized after we finished the hike that we had parked right next to the opposite end of the trail where I would have wanted to start. So close.
  
  The beginning of this trail starts flat, a casual walk along the base of the above pictured peaks. If you look closely you can see humans scattered along the trail, something we had to maneuver around the entirety of the hike. Usually when I hike on a trail that is covered with people I get irritated, but this trail is too beautiful to care. It’s unavoidable. After a short while we arrived at our first of many forks in the road, and our first of many mountain huts along the way. From here we continued on the trail, taking the quick, but steep route to our first vantage point.
  
  After our first wee climb, we stopped at the top of the hill to savor the views below. From here we could see our next destination, a hut off in the distance with a taste of home name. The Dolomites are so close to Germany, that everything in the area is in both Italian and German. Tre Cime is also known as Drei Zinnen, which both translate to three peaks. Our next destination on the loop was to the Drei Zinnen Hütte.
  
  As we began approaching the hut, we heard a man speaking over a loud speaker. MaryBeth heard the man say something about a man from France, and first place, from which we deduced there was a mountain race going on! I absolutely love watching people run, and the predominant demographic of these mountain runners were over the age of 50, and a lot of them were women. To say I was inspired is an understatement.
  
  We sat to watch the runners, and soaked up the infectious energy near the hut for a bit, all the while we savored the stunning view of the surrounding alpine lakes.
  
  Upon arrival at the Drei Zinnen Hütte coming from a counterclockwise loop (the popular route) is where we found the first real expansive view of the three peaks in all their glory. I am not a climber, and I don’t think I ever will be (my few experiences on very thin and sketchy trails have proven this to me), but I can only imagine what the views are like from the tops of those peaks. The weather was perfect this day, a mix of sun and slight overcast.
  
  After admiring the superhumans running up this mountain, we began our descent down into the valley to bring our loop towards a circle. We took our time the entirety of this hike to ensure we soaked up as much of the view as possible. The route isn’t overly difficult to follow, but I was glad to have read a few blogs in order to know which route to follow. The trails branch off in multiple directions, but I knew as long as the three peaks were close on our left we were on the right path.
  
  The elevation changes on this trail aren’t anything to write home about, but the final stretch did have a decent dip down followed by an equally decent incline. MaryBeth was wearing shoes that were hurting her feet, and I was wearing Teva sandals. My choice of footwear was mostly due to the fact I didn’t want to buy new shoes right before I was leaving, and slightly due to the fact I like to test my boundaries when it comes to exploring in those sandals.
  
  There were a few moments I clung to the inner edge of the trail just to avoid slipping, but overall the trail was moderate. I do not regret my choice of footwear, and if I had to do it again I would.
  
  From here the trail was chill the remainder of the way. Overall the entirety of the loop is just over 6 miles, but with all of our stops and savors we didn’t get back to our car until 15:30, around six hours later. I could not have asked for a better introduction to the Dolomites, this day was absolutely perfect. The end of our hike showcased why walking the trail clockwise would have been a more expansive view.
  
  We arrived back at our hotel to shower and rest before heading out for a meal of gnocchi and pizza (and wine for MB!) Can you really go to Italy without having any or all of those? I think not. I will daydream of this final European adventure (for now) for months to come. My decision to move back to America was not an easy one, but for the time being was the right one.
  
  I don’t know what’s next for me, but I do know I’ll be back to the Dolomites as soon as I can.
  
  Q: What’s one place you are dying to visit after seeing a photograph of the location?
  
  | 20 Comments Tagged Brittanys Life Abroad, Dolomites, Hiking, Italy
- Schloss Elmau und Das Kranzbach
  
  Posted at 5:00 AM by Brittany, on September 21, 2020
  
  A few months ago I rode my bike to the final town on my “must bike to” list, and during that adventure I discovered another area I wanted to bike to. I should know that a list like this is impossible to truly have an end, especially in an area like Bavaria. My energy was limited when I originally discovered this new location, so I tucked it into my brain archives for another day.
  
  Fast forward three months, while trying to decide where to bike on a day off, this location was revived from the archives.
  
  This beautiful building is called Schloss Elmau, “a magical sanctuary of the Bavarian alps”, and let me tell you…this place is indeed a magical sanctuary. I had heard of this resort and wellness center from some of my colleagues, but I had no idea what to expect.
  
  I needed a destination for my bike ride, and this seemed like a good fit. The ride to the resort climbs a decent hill, and I was a bit of a sweaty mess by the time I arrived. I thought for certain the people would notice how out of place I looked, but once I walked around the corner from the front of the building I was quickly sucked into another world.
  
  From the front of the resort I would have never guessed how vast the backside was. This location has seemingly endless land, and just when you think the land ends it drops down and there is more. Pools, yoga sanctuaries, lawn chairs, restaurants, a children’s park, tennis courts, and miles of mountain views.
  
  I knew nothing of this place, but quickly discovered this was the location of the 2015 G7 Summit – which means nothing to me other than world leaders from multiple countries (including my home country) came here to meet and discuss important topics. Naturally I had to find the bench Obama sat on while having an important looking conversation with Angela Merkel.
  
  The bench is a bit weathered now, and there are some lawn chairs with orange umbrellas in the distance, but this is the bench. I sat and waited to see if I felt any kind of powerful surge, but decided to go lay on one of those lawn chairs when nothing happened. I arrived around 1400 in the afternoon, and there were plenty of other humans out and about enjoying the amenities of this beautiful resort.
  
  I rested on the lawn chair for about 30 minutes before leaving to head back home. I spent a few of those 30 minutes looking up how much a room cost, because I’d love to take my mom here someday, and with the two night minimum I had better start selling my soul in order to sleep here. You’d better believe if I am spending upwards of 600 euros to stay here that I will be spending all day on the property.
  
  The ride up to Elmau passes by another smaller but equally impressive resort called Das Kranzbach. I encourage you to look at these websites if just to gawk at the amazing photos. The surrounding trees and mountains are like something out of a nature book. This resort, being a bit smaller, was more my speed. The exterior building was like a building out of a fairy tale.
  
  I have a deep love for the staircase tops of these German buildings.
  
  These resorts hold a special place in my heart because they were my last “new location” bike ride in Bavaria. I embarked on a few more rides after this, but to places I had been before. Nothing quite compares to the first time riding around the corner while discovering a new place. I will be forever thankful for the last six months of my time in Germany, biking like I had never biked before.
  
  Q: Would you spend 600 euros for two nights in a mountain resort?
  
  | 19 Comments Tagged Bavaria, Bike Ride, Brittanys Life Abroad
- Leiphmier Moos
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on September 3, 2020
  
  When I first arrived in Germany I set a goal of traveling to one new country every month. I planned to live in Europe for 15 months, which meant 15 new countries total. My original plan was to leave Europe in April of this year, and I successfully visited 15 new countries by the time April rolled around.
  
  Then Covid hit, the world shut down, and I was forced to stop moving.
  
  The Corona quarantine months were some of the best months of my life. I had already been feeling burned out by all the travel, but I am living in a culture where this is what we do. We work, we travel, and we repeat. Not much time to rest. Heaven forbid I actually stay in Germany instead.
  
  It has been nearly six months since I have been on a plane, or taken a train or a bus to a different country (I have biked to Austria a few times, and one time took a train, but Austria is literally a pebbles throw away.) Instead I have been throwing myself feet first into Germany – by bike.
  
  I never considered myself a biker, but now I can’t imagine my life without this sport. When I was a runner (many moons ago) I never felt the way I feel when I bike. Exercise is meant to be therapeutic, to celebrate what your body can do, and I feel this whole heartedly when I bike. My bike has been my saving grace, and I have grown quite attached to it.
  
  I regret to say it took me FAR too long to figure out how/get the courage to take my bike on the train. The whole process reminds me of when I first bought my Cannondale (which I cannot wait to ride again next month) and rode it onto the ferry sitting among the other bike commuters of Seattle.
  
  The ticket process is simple enough, there is an all day bike ticket for Bavaria and with this I am able to bring my bike onto the train any time, all day long – for only 6 euros. Knowing where to take the bike is another story. Sometimes cabins are full, and I have to pretend I know what the train workers are telling me when they are trying to guide me through narrow rows to another cabin.
  
  With my newfound knowledge of transporting my bike, I decided to visit my dear friend MaryBeth in her new city of Ulm for a Sunday of biking. I have biked all over Bavaria (and still have so many untouched bike paths), so I wanted to explore another state. Ulm is in the state of Baden-Württemberg, and the landscape is like night and day to the state of Bavaria.
  
  Not only is Ulm a larger city than where I live, there are few mountains around and the bike paths take a bit longer to get to. MaryBeth and I decided to bike to a wetland park that is about 15 miles from where she lives in Ulm. This made for a beautiful and different than what I was used to 30+ mile bike ride.
  
  What I loved most about this midwest looking terrain was all the corn fields and sunflowers. There were no big hills, just open fields of farmland.
  
  Our chosen destination was called Leiphmier Moos, and I wanted to go here because MaryBeth told me this wetland preserve is home to some Highland Cows. Perhaps it’s what they signify, or where they come from, but my love for the Heilan Coo is strong.
  
  Moos is the German word for moss, and I have found the areas that end in “Moos” are typically wetland areas. Moss aside, this preserve not only had Highland cows, but it also had bull frogs, ostriches, and water buffalo. I was only lucky to see the first three.
  
  After my temporary pretended teleport to Scotland, we headed back towards the city. We made a pit stop along the way at an abandoned lake where we had a snack and escaped the sun for a moment. My adventures with MaryBeth are always a good time, no matter what we do I always enjoy spending time with her.
  
  The last six months have been incredibly eye opening for me. I don’t want to say I regret how I spent my first year living in Germany, the travel was wonderful, but I do wish I had prioritized this beautiful country more. I’m thankful I was forced to slow down and thankful I was able to bike my heart out in southern Germany.
  
  I see myself living in Germany again someday, which is wild to say because my heart has always been set on Ireland or Scotland. I have a soul tie to the UK, but I now have a soul tie to Germany after my time here. All this to say, you never know where you will end up. All I know is that I am open to just about anything these days!
  
  Q: Is there somewhere in the world you have an unexplainable draw towards?
  
  | 35 Comments Tagged Biking, Brittanys Life Abroad, Frosty
- Change is a Beautiful Thing
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on August 27, 2020
  I am an emotional human. I attach myself easily to people and to places (although I hide it well, it takes a lot for me to show my vulnerable side), and although I consider myself a minimalist – every so often I attach myself to things (currently my bike.) That being said, while I would consider myself good at enacting change in my life (usually impetuously), I also struggle immensely with change.
  
  OK, but who doesn’t?
  
  I think my biggest hurdle when it comes to change is that I like control and certainty. When making decisions I have a hard time feeling fully confident in the choices I make, because I easily panic wondering if I made the right decision. Truth be told I don’t really believe there is a right or wrong decision, there is just “a decision” and life follows accordingly. Certainty is almost never an option.
  
  Life adjusts to the paths we choose.
  
  I have learned a lot about myself in the last year, specifically in the last handful of months. I started a brief, but helpful counseling routine from March-July and while my journey is no where near complete it was a nice introduction into some deeeeeeep work that needs to be done. I also discovered some truths about myself during the three month Corona quarantine, when my life of non stop travel was brought to an abrupt, but necessary halt.
  
  Traveling has become a huge part of my life in the last decade, and it wasn’t until recently that I discovered while traveling is amazing – it can also be a bandaid. The moment I get antsy or feel the discomfort of stillness (aka prime time to sit with emotions) I do something drastic. Travel has been one of many ways I continue running from emotional traumas I have been running from since before I can remember.
  
  This is not to say traveling isn’t also a way to heal, it has been extremely liberating to embark on some of the adventures I have embarked on, but there is such thing as too much travel.
  
  I have somewhat unknowingly been carrying a lot of emotional baggage throughout my life, stemming back to my childhood. My last relationship triggered some deep rooted abandonment issues and I am now noticing how some of my behaviors the last few years have been a result of these stuffed emotions. The human body is an amazing machine, and does what it needs to in order to feel safe, but eventually the storms need to be faced.
  
  Trauma is not something you can outrun, it must be worked through, felt, acknowledged, and honored before the energy in your body can be released.
  
  Every single one of us as humans have some type of stored trauma in our bodies. And so many of us suffer with similar emotional setbacks. I have found myself not allowing enough down time to actually process my emotions, and I am constantly running from one thing to the next. So often we are told to quiet our emotions, don’t show weakness, if it wasn’t a physical abuse it wasn’t a big deal, emotional abuse isn’t as serious…
  
  I’m here to tell you it’s serious.
  
  While I am farther than I was yesterday, and the day before, I am painfully aware that I need to press the pause button on life.
  
  What a better time than now to do this, while the world is quite literally in a moment of pause (or at least it should be.) My life in Germany has been a whirlwind. I have done so many things while moving at a speed my body was never meant to keep up with. I have lived so much life in such a short period of time, but along the way I started to loose my balance. My footing became wobbly, like walking on loose gravel.
  
  I’ve found myself in a limbo where it feels like I am falling and the floor underneath me is no where to be seen.
  
  My health has taken a backseat and this high paced lifestyle is no longer serving me. To be honest it never really was. I so desperately want to live a life in Europe, and I have stuck with a job that has robbed me of my sanity and my peace. I am in desperate need of a rest, and a reset. It has been a difficult decision, but it’s time for me to return to Washington, press the pause, and reevaluate what I want in my life.
  
  I have come up with a few things I hope I can enforce as non negotiables moving forward.
  - Stillness – I need time in each day where I wake up without having to rush off to a job where my nervous system is bombarded with action for 8 hours straight. My autoimmune disease flares when my body is stressed.
  - Community – while honoring my needs of being alone, I must prioritize fostering a FEW deep, core throbbing friendships. Loneliness leads to unhealthy coping behaviors.
  - Balance – this is my favorite word for a reason, my life needs a balance in what I eat, how I move, and how I share my time.
  - Boundaries – I struggle with boundaries. I give my all when I don’t have my all to give. I don’t speak up when my voice needs to be heard. I know what I need to feel balance, and I need to ensure I set these boundaries.
  - Adventure – I need the right mix of adventure and reality. Time to sit with my thoughts, but also time to see the world at a much slower pace.
  - Healing – I want to feel my emotions more. I want to feel sad, I want to feel happy, I want to feel despair, I want to feel joy, I want to FEEL. The only way out is through.
  - Bravery – I muuussssttt get over my anxiety surrounding meeting new people. The only boundary I’ve enforced has gone too far the wrong way and the walls surrounding me are sky high.
  I am devastated to be leaving Garmisch, this place has become my home and the mountains surrounding me have become my therapy space. I feel pain and sorrow thinking about no longer living near the bike paths that have lifted me up when I was falling apart. Part of me feels like I am giving up, but at the end of the day I don’t want to settle. I don’t have a clear vision of what the right decision is, but I do know I need to pause.
  
  My body has been screaming at me to do something different for months. It’s both a blessing and a curse to be so in tune with my physical body.
  
  I have been living in a cyclical cycle of ups and downs for nearly a decade, and I am finally realizing why there has been no significant break in this loop. I run to the next adventure hoping it will heal my wounds, when I am the only one who can. So while I might feel unsure of what the right decision is, I am choosing to trust in the process of life. My need for control stems from a need to feel safe, but at the end of the day I will never have full control. Only God has that power.
  
  All I can do is choose to sink or swim while my life plays itself out.
  
  I have one month left in Garmisch, and I will be moving to Washington at the end of September. I don’t know if I will ever feel total peace about it, but each day I challenge myself to get further away from my black and white thinking. When I came here I was only planning to stay for 15 months, and here we are almost two years later.
  
  I will live in Europe again, but I will have a better lifestyle more conducive to my needs. I need to remind myself that although I love this area, my life as a whole is not in a sustainable balance. I could have sought out another job, but at the end of the day I ain’t living the life I need or want right now, and it’s time to face the music that is emotional healing. Healing leads to change, and change is a beautiful thing.
  
  Besides, it’s also time to see my family after a lonnnggg time away. My cat has no idea the storm that’s coming his way. (Me, I am the storm.)
  
  Q: How do you make difficult decisions?
  | 42 Comments Tagged Brittanys Life Abroad, Garmisch
- Austrian Alpine Lakes
  
  Posted at 2:00 PM by Brittany, on July 29, 2020
  
  Back in 2015 when I started hiking regularly, I fell in love with alpine lake hikes (this one is my all time favorite.) In order for a lake to be considered “alpine” it must be above a certain elevation (somewhere around 5000 feet, or 1524 meters), and is often fed by mountain runoff. In Washington where I am from, these alpine lake hikes start close to sea level, which means it’s quite a climb to see them.
  
  Anyone can visit a regular lake, but you have to work to see an alpine lake.
  
  Here in the Alps there are cable cars to help cut off some of the climbing, but the assistance in reaching an alpine lake doesn’t make the journey any less spectacular. Last summer I was introduced to two lakes in northern Austria very close to where I live, and I had been daydreaming about seeing them ever since. I finally made plans to spend a day in the mountains, and it was a day I won’t soon forget.
  
  These two lakes are within the same hiking region on the Meininger Mountain range in Ehrwald Austria. I have ridden my bike to Ehrwald a couple times, and I originally thought about biking to Ehrwald, hiking to the lakes, and biking back. This brief psychotic episode was short lived thankfully, because that would have been rough.
  
  Instead I took a train (with my bike) to Ehrwald (saving an hour and a half of uphill biking), biked to the cable car where my pal Galiya and I took the cable car up the mountain (saving two hours of hiking) and began our journey to lake number one around 10:30.
  
  First stop: Seebensee.
  
  The views on our way to the lake reminded me of the Swiss Alps, and were far more expansive than any of the hikes I have done in Bavaria just next-door. I couldn’t believe I waited so long to experience Austria in this way. The mountains kept going, and around each corner was a new view unlike anything we’d passed earlier in the day.
  
  It took us about 1.25 hours to make our way to Seebensee, and the terrain was doable for any hiker. I was out of breath a few times, only because Galiya and I were speed walking. After necking it back to enjoy the journey we fell into a comfortable pace. Once we arrived at Seebensee we found ourselves surrounded by other humans, and rightfully so – the lake is gorgeous.
  
  We also found ourselves surrounded by lots of alpine cows. My favorite!
  
  The weather was starting to get quite warm, and I was relating on a personal level to that cookies and creme cow in the above photo. Galiya and I brought our bathing suits so we could dip our overheated bodies into the lake, but we decided to save our plunge for lake number two.
  
  Second stop: Drachensee.
  
  The climb to Drachensee was more intense than the walk to Seebensee. This required over 300M of climbing in a short span of earth. We started the climb around noon (aka the peak heat of the day), and my body was definitely feeling the burn (inside and out.) I took my time, and stopped to savor the view of Seebensee a handful of times while I let my heart rate calm down.
  
  What I love most about hiking in Europe, aside from the jaw dropping views, is the diversity among hikers. People of all ages and shapes come out to hike, and everyone goes at their own pace. I saw more people over the age of 50 hiking to Drachensee than I saw people my age or younger. It’s not only motivational, but inspirational! I strive to live a life that will allow me to continue hiking well into my 60’s and even my 70’s!
  
  We took about 30 minutes to climb the switchbacked hill up to Drachensee, and at the top of this hill lives the Coburger Hütte – a mountain hut where most people stop to savor a bit or a brew. Galiya and I skipped the crowded hut and continued the final few minutes down to Drachensee.
  
  We had every intention of swimming in this lake, until we arrived. Drachensee is a beauty of a lake, but her inner core disappears into a thick darkness hiding whatever lives under the surface (Drachensee = dragon lake.) I don’t like swimming in water where I cannot see what is underneath me, and I have self diagnosed myself with Thalassophobia.
  
  Side note: this Buzzfeed article made me want to vomit and I could not finish looking at the photos!
  
  The deal breaker for me was seeing a large pipe leading into the lake from the shore, and almost immediately disappearing into the darkness. Nope, nope, nope. Instead we sat around the shore of the lake where little to no other humans were, ate a snack, and savored the view while our core temperatures cooled off naturally from lack of movement.
  
  The trails surrounding Drachensee are seemingly endless, for more intense hikers and even climbers there are routes that continue onto the peaks above the lake. There is a Klettersteig route as well, but I like living so I opted for the lake as my “summit.” We planned to go for a swim in Seebensee after avoiding being sucked into the dragons lair of Drachensee, and began our descent back down to our first stop.
  
  Initially I couldn’t figure out why no one was swimming in either of these lakes. When the sun is strong and people are out hiking, it’s hard to find a spot to set up and swim because everyone is out swimming. I was worried all these German speakers knew something we didn’t, but we decided to go for it anyway.
  
  I quickly discovered why no one was swimming.
  
  This icy blue water was just that – icy! The moment I stepped my toes into the water I was met with an overwhelming surge of cold. I slowly continued to wade deeper into the water, hooting and hollering the entire way. Had it not been for my feet slipping on the algae covered rocks I likely would have taken much longer to submerge my body.
  
  I then went in and out of the lake three times. I guess I was a sucker for the pain. Overall it was my feet and hands that suffered the most. I could have kept my core in that water for much longer. After cooling off our internal heaters we sat on the grass next to the lake watching small human specks walk across the mountain peaks surrounding us.
  
  We were in the middle of a cow party, and had a handful of cows come to see what we were up to.
  
  As we dried off and reclothed, we made our way back towards the cable car to start our journey back home. Not before stopping at the Seebenalm for a bite to eat and a chat with a tiny human. A small boy came and sat with us as we ate our food and I proceeded to make him count in German for us (he spoke to us non stop in German, but I only understood 1/10 of what he was saying.)
  
  He was such a sweet and pure soul.
  
  Our original plan was to bike back home (it’s mostly downhill), but after a full day of hiking (we managed ten miles) we decided to train back home. We made it back down off the mountain at 1700 – 6.5 hours later! It’s days like this that make it really, really hard to leave Europe.
  
  Q: Does swimming in bodies of water without a clear view of what’s below you scare you too?
  
  | 29 Comments Tagged Alpine Lake, Austria, Brittanys Life Abroad, Hiking
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