1. I went for the most glorious bike ride recently with my favorite human, and I am still riding the high. We biked nearly two hours through the woods and my soul will be swooning for many days to come. I rode the bike I bought in Germany for the first time since March, and it was like having coffee with an old friend.
2. Somehow I have been at REI for a year now. I told myself I would get this job until I figured out what was next, but it appears the world is still in proverbial flames, so for now this continues to be what’s next.
3. We have approached the most wonderful hiking time of the year. Fall is my absolute favorite (along with most people I speak to), and the cooler weather, crunchy leaves, and autumn colors fill my cup in a way that cannot be done by summer rains.
We’ve got backyard hikes…
We’ve got far away hikes…(Mount Rainier)
And of course we’ve got the hikes that are worthy of their own blog posts.
4. I have recently been introduced to “walking in…” videos on YouTube. Basically you can find most any city you want to see someone walk around, and it is oddly satisfying and meditative. The first one I watched was the town I lived in DE, and it was a mixed bag of emotions. Highly recommend.
5. Running has been so good to me. I continue to surprise myself by how far I have come with regard to this sport. For many years I ran for all the wrong reasons, causing burn out and overwhelm. I now run for my mental health, and watching my pace slowly get faster is just an added perk. I used to think anything above a 10 minute mile was slow, but I am humbled as it has taken me six months to find this pace again.
6. Last September I moved back into my childhood home, and I was determined to only stay a short while. I have had moments of motivation to find my own space, but they continue to be fleeting. I find such comfort in staying with my mom and my sister, and I currently need this comfort more than I realized.
7. Before I moved back to America I made a list of things I was going to miss about Germany, and a list of things I was looking forward to about being back in my home state. One thing I was looking forward to was taking a bite of my favorite muffins, muffins I hadn’t had since 2017 or 2018.
It took me a full year, but I finally indulged in a muffin…twice.
8. Ever since I hurt my back a few months ago it has never been the same. I have had the most obnoxious and annoying sciatica discomfort for weeks, and the only thing that helps is vertical movements (ironically running helps shake it out the most), and horizontal resting. Sitting down on my bum is a sure fire way to a game over.
I have never felt more my age than I do now.
9. After eight years of (comfortable and content) singledom I guess my heart isn’t as black as I thought, and after six months of dating I guess I am ready to properly introduce Duncan to blogland. Time spent with him in a corn maze, and picking out pumpkins is time well spent. ❤
10. Every year when fall rolls around I feel twinges of grief with regard to my “former life.” Life before food sensitivities and autoimmune disease, life before anxiety and overthinking, life when I didn’t have to meticulously plan out my daily activities or meals. I have moments of jealousy towards those who can indulge in all the pumpkin and cinnamon treats without repercussions, but at the end of the day I am reminded why I choose to live the way I do. Feeling well far surpasses a pumpkin bagel with cream cheese. Alas, sometimes a splurge is necessary.
Q: What’s your confession?
35 thoughts on “Early Morning Confessions”
Looking for the Light
I just had one of those monments with my husband a few minutes ago. Before I met him I was not sick, I worked a high powered job, showered, washed hair, blow dried, curling ironded, make-up and a 10-12 hour day no matter how little sleep or how my mental health was. No if I did that one day a week it would put me in bed. I try not to look at before, we have to, but I don’t stay there long. This is who I am at 58 and this is who I’ll be going forward. I don’t know what my mental health or physical health will be but I pray toget up each day and be grateful. You sound grateful and full of life, that’s what life is about. So glad you’re home with the comfort you need now.
Thank you for this kind comment. I stand with you in the joys and struggles of life. I’m happy you have a caring husband you can have these vulnerable chats with, it can be hard to share. I think very few truly understand the struggles of chronic illness as well as mental health.
I’m so happy for you regarding cute Duncan! 🙂 And, a 10 minute mile is my FAST time. LOL! Regarding your back, Dr. Sarno in California has written books about back pain. He makes his patients RUN despite them not wanting to do anything due to pain. His theory about what causes most back pain is interesting.
Ohhh interesting about Dr. Sarno. Because it’s not my back that’s in pain anymore, I definitely find running to be helpful. But I like his theory, I think sometimes we baby ourselves too much. Movement is healing!
Good luck with the back thing. I don’t have any miracle cures. Backs are like brains; sometimes they need to calm down.
Congrats on Duncan. He’s a lucky boy. Tell him I said so. Daily. 🙂
I try my damnedest to do what I can to not aggravate the nerve, but man it’s frustrating! Such is life I suppose.
And thanks, it’s been an unexpected wild ride. 🥰
Grace @ Cultural Life
Ahh, those beautiful scenic photos are soothing my soul! I enjoy what I do (my work and my academic research), but since Covid I’m more desk-bound than ever and spend a large part of my time working alone at a screen. It isn’t good for me physically or mentally, so my focus now is figuring out how to get some more balance, in-person human interaction and time outdoors…
Very happy for you and Duncan! 🙂
Finding that balance can be a challenge, but so worth it! Enjoying what you do puts you halfway there, that’s huge.
Thank you, Duncan makes me smile. 🙈
I absolutely loved this post! I am so jealous of your bike ride, that is such a beautiful place to ride in. I didn’t get to ride my bike any this summer due to one thing or another (life) getting in the way. And now it’s too cold for this old, cold-natured southerner to ride here in Eastern Washington. Wonderful pictures of my favorite Mountain (Rainier). Loved it all. And…you & Duncan make a cute couple!
I rode my hybrid a few times this summer, but it wasn’t very enjoyable on main roads. This ride was wonderful, and having Duncan accompany me made it all the more special. ❤️
If it makes you feel any better, I got sciatica at 25 🙂 This is a great post! I aspire to be as mindful and present as you are.
Oh no! I’m so sorry, what a pain. Literally.
Thank you. ❤️
Thank God, it went away! I hope yours goes away soon, too! One thing that helped was sleeping with a pillow between my legs and only sleeping on my side.
Thank you, I will try the pillow trick. 🤪
Desde Phx te mando lo siguiente…
Duncan seems like a nice guy
In that corny outdoorsy place
But the thing i like most about him
Is that smile on your face!
Desde Washington te mando lo siguiente…
Duncan makes me smile it’s true
Like your comment and my cat
Words here make me feel less blue
No matter where you’re at.
Thank you for reading my tiny blog
And commenting below
If I could do one thing for you
I’d find you a new toe.
So You’re ability to take such Awesome photos capturing the changes in seasons as well as life is AMAZING 👍 I will wait for the book full of pictures from Your amazing life’s journey. Wishing You and Duncan more spectacular times together experiencing all that life and nature have to offer; thanks for sharing, keep on traveling thru life❤️🙋♀️
Thank you sweet friend. You’re always my biggest cheerleader. ❤️
It gives me great joy to see you moving forward into what you often describe as your new life. It gives me hope for myself (I’ve been ….off).
Your smile is a joy to us all and your pictures are inspiring.
I think you have said REI has been good to you and I hope that continues.
I always love when you drop by to say hello, your comments make me day.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been off, I can’t say I’ve been feeling my best all around. The world has a dark cloud over it and I often feel it. Sending you love.
Love you too friendo! Keep smiling and sharing those wonderful trips. And the low periods too. We can hold each other up.
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh… I always LOVE these early morning confession posts, and there are SO many things I want to say, but of course I’m going to start with your (almost) final confession…
HOORAY!!!!!!! I am so so soooooo happy for you that you’ve found someone who makes your heart happy!!! ♡ I kind of wondered about Duncan when we were texting about your amazing national park road trip (my parents are still SUPER grateful for your advice and insights!!), but I figured you’d share when you were ready. I hope the two of you continue to have lots of wonderful adventures together!!
It’s really inspiring to hear how your relationship with running (and hiking and biking!) has changed over the years too. I haven’t had the urge to start running consistently again, but I’ve been enjoying walking a lot. There’s something soothing about the slower pace that doesn’t trigger my “long distance or nothing” mentality I often had with running.
And yes, there are a hundred other things I want to say too, but I’ll cut this off before I write an entire novel in the comments section… as I so often do. 😉 Sending you a huge virtual hug!!!
Bahaha, I adore you. It’s funny, Duncan and I planned that vacation when we were still just friends. It was very ambitious I’ll say, and we had only been officially dating for a little over a month when we went. The trip was smooth and we had a lot of fun.
I’m very thankful for where I am with running right now, it helps my anxiety SO much. At this point I need it! I do love a good long walk too though.
Thank you for the love and the hug. ❤️😊
Glad you have new chapters in your life. Enjoy those great hikes and people in your life.
Thank you Gary. In times of chaos I’m thankful for these people and places.
Ahh! Reading about Duncan makes me so happy for you!! And also your new perspective on running for mental health ❤
🙃❤️ Thank you friend!! Life sure has a lot of unexpected twists and turns. I definitely never saw myself running again, nor did I see myself dating someone for another ten years. 😂
Thank you for the confession’s… you are absolved
My congratulations on happiness, my it last until after the last beat of your heart, you look very much a couple….
What a thoughtful post. Thank you for sharing. I personally think working at REI would amazing. All that gear to drool over every day? Yum!
They say REI stands for: recycled employee income. 🤪
LOL! I did not know that. In Canada we have MEC (Mountain Equipment Co-op). The website is mec.ca or Mecca….
Oh yeah! I had a Canadian friend who worked for MEC many moons ago. Fun places. 🤪