1. I have a lot of random things to write, and what better way than an Early Morning Confessions post. For starters, just before Duncan and I took our vacation we celebrated my childs 15th birthday. We bought party hats, I gave him a pâté of prescription food (which he no longer eats) sprinkled with fish flakes, we bought gifts, and we sang to him.
I was certain the gift I bought him would be a hit (pink ball with green fuzzy worm), while the gift Duncan bought would be a dud (a catnip stuffed cigar because he is an old man now, as Duncan said.) Come to find out he was terrified of my gift (the bouncy ball sent him running) and obsessed with Duncans. Go figure.
2. That tiny black ball of fur is my best pal. He brings me so much joy and I am certain he is my soul cat. I’m not sure we get more than one soul pet in our lives, and I have never felt a bond with an animal the way I do with him. Shortly after returning from vacation he had a week long spell of vomiting, and was eating less than normal. He was due for a senior check up so I took him in.
After three days in a row of testing and specialists he was diagnosed with IBD, pancreatitis and he was incredibly constipated. He was put on steroids to help with inflammation and I completely overhauled his diet. Changing his food was nerve wracking because although I was certain his food was contributing to the problem (prescription urinary food filled with gargbage), I was worried he would get another urinary blockage (he had one in 2018 that almost killed him.)
It’s been two months of daily steroids (we are currently on the taper), trying multiple types of food, and absolute exhaustion and stress for me. The vomiting has stopped, and I found a probiotic that has helped his poops, but I still have daily anxiety. I’m struggling to let go of the obsessive control to heal him. I am doing everything I can to ensure he is ok for the rest of his life.
He may have turned 15 recently, but I expect at least 2-3 more years with him.
3. Back in May, the weekend before the journey with Little (my cat) began, I went for a hike with three gal pals I met in Germany. Galiya, a friend who I became close with at a time when I needed friendship was coming to visit her pal Sarah in Bend, OR. I knew Sarah, but we didn’t spend any time together. Galiya, Sarah, and I met up with Paige, a friend who I worked with and greatly enjoyed who now lives in Portland.
We hiked Dog Mountain, a trail I had been wanting to hike for a while. This was such a beautiful day of reunion and I would give anything for close friends to live nearby.
4. My car is from 2007 and had the most ugly, disgustingly clouded headlights for years. I didn’t care much, but at a recent oil change (I go to the Toyota dealership), I was asked if I wanted my headlights restored FOR OVER $150!!! Absolutely not. I decided to try it myself and used this Rain-X product for $20.
I was chuffed with the results, and 10/10 would use again.
5. The summer is here in full force, but I haven’t done many fun activities. Between selling my soul to corporate America and spending time with Little, I haven’t had much space for anything else. I have had a few walk/hikes I have enjoyed, gone for plenty of runs, and a few noteworthy bike rides, but I am longing for a weekend getaway.
I don’t see many getaways in my future for quite some time, but I would give up all the vacations in my life to spend more time with my fur babe.
6. This song has made it onto my liked songs on Spotify, and I listen to it often. I first heard it on Instagram, then I found it on YouTube, and I try to show everyone I can. I showed my mom last week and we both cried we were laughing so hard.
7. Have I talked about Little too much in this post? I think that’s impossible, so here is another fun fact. Due to his recent IBD diagnosis I have stopped letting him in the backyard. He eats too much grass which results in vomiting and irritation. Backyard adventures were his favorite, and in an attempt to keep him stimulated/avoid boredom and depression I have found a new adventure.
We now go on car rides.
I experimented a bit ago by putting him in my car sans carrier, and driving slowly around the block. I wanted to ensure he would be chill, and once I saw how he behaved we moved to longer and further rides. I do not take him on the freeway/highway like this, but slower back roads have become a joy for us both. He LOVES these rides.
We even went to Duncans for a few hours one day, which he enjoyed until he didn’t anymore.
8. Consumerism is driving me mad. I have always struggled with the idea of having too many “things”, but it wasn’t until I worked in a retail setting that I saw the effects of: “more, more, more.” Sure, I like buying things that I will use, and I have been known to buy things I likely don’t need, but on such an elevated scale where people around me treat buying and selling “stuff” like it’s life or death – I just can’t.
9. I don’t normally like water activities. I’m more of a land gal, but in an attempt to push outside of my comfort zone I went kayaking with one of my coworker/friends recently. I rented an ORU Kayak (these fold up/down for easier transportation and storage), and accompanied her to a nearby lake for an evening paddle.
The kayak was a pain in the ass to set up, not all of them are as intricate as the one I used, but once it was ready to glide I loved it.
10. I am feeling quite lonely these days. No matter where I am in my life I struggle to find people who “get me.” Most of the people I am surrounded by are surface level friendships, or acquaintances. It’s rare for me to find someone I connect with deeply, and this leads to me feeling like the odd man out around most people.
Some seasons of life I have more connections than others, but people move/life changes, and when I start feeling like this I allow myself to feel the heaviness that comes with a lack of community. A reminder to continue fostering my deeper friendships from afar. As with all things in life it’s an ebb and flow, and the times of loneliness make the deeper connections all the more special.
Q: What’s your confession?
Blissfulbritt 