1. My cat and I have started a new evening routine. I have started taking him outside (he has been strictly indoors aside from a handful of Houdini escapes for probably ten of his fourteen years of life), and it has been quite the sight to see. We are working on manners, because when we first started going out he would hiss at me if he was not ready to go inside.
The hissing has since stopped, and he runs up to me more, but I still have to watch him.
His behavior is respectful for the first ten minutes, and then he gets a bit shady. Going too close to gaps in the fence, or getting into the position like he wants to try to jump it – he knows what he is doing. Some days however, he is an angel the entire time and we go out for 15-20 minutes, and then I pick him up and we go inside. He even walks himself in the door after we’ve been out a bit.
All creatures deserve to enjoy nature, even when they sass their mom.
2. My anxiety has been off the charts lately. I have had a lot of things on my plate the last few months and my body has felt like a balloon about to burst. I took a weekend getaway a couple weeks ago and I was so riddled with stress my shoulders seized up. It took three weeks for my neck and shoulders to relax.
3. Duncan had the most wonderful day date idea recently. He said to me: “Let’s go to the nursery and each pick out a plant.” Be still my beating heart. We wandered the entire nursery (I chose the biggest one near us) and we both ended up choosing the same plant. I wanted one that would clean the air, and he agreed.
We then chose our own pottery to plant them in. I wasn’t sure if my pottery of choice had enough drainage capabilities, so I put some rocks from a nearby park on the bottom of the pot.
4. Drinking my morning coffee is like a spiritual practice for me. I have had such a long road with coffee, and I am thankful I have found a way to make this black beauty work for me in my life. Something about that first sip…I am so excited for the changing seasons, drinking coffee on a crisp fall morning is unlike anything else. Anytime the seasons change I feely myself shift and change too.
5. When I was living in Deutschland I would often bike through a town that had a Birkenstock outlet. I am not one to buy things that I don’t need, but I stopped in a few times to see what they had to offer. The prices were unbelievable, and I spent months trying to find a reason to justify buying another pair (I already had two.) Eventually I needed a new pair of work shoes, so I thought I would give the clogs that all the cooks were wearing a try.
I did not care for them. They looked like clown shoes and I had to go a size bigger than my sandals because I felt my toes hitting the inside.
I thought about returning them, but at the end of the day I figured I could just resell them in the states. Fast forward to working a job in a warehouse where my back is compromised. I have to wear closed toed shoes to work, so my sandals were out, but I thought I would try the clogs at work because the sandals always made my body feel good on the concrete. Low and behold the clogs have had their glory moment. They are the only shoes I have worn to work for the last year now.
These shoes are over $120 in the states, but I paid maybe 45-50 euros for them. Plus, I can’t live in Germany and NOT buy a pair of locally grown Birkenstocks, that would just be wrong.
6. My iPhone 8 is a piece of garbage. The battery sucks, and the charging port has started to give me problems. And yet, I cannot justify buying another one yet. I used the phone prior to this for a full year with an entirely cracked front screen because the phone still worked. The screen was annoying, but the phone worked. I will likely wait until I cannot charge this phone at all before I buy another one.
7. I have not been hiking nearly as much as I would have liked this summer. I feel like my time has been stretched thin, and when the weekend comes I either can’t find anyone to go with (I have adapted the whole “don’t hike alone” mindset in my old age), or I am just too tired from my week. I think fall will be my time to shine, it’s just too hot in the summer most days for me.
8. I have been trying to reprioritize my life again. I have been getting far too bent out of shape over things that happen at my workplace, despite the fact that I learned early on in my working “career” that I never wanted to spend more time working for someone than I did actually living my life. I am thankful I was given the tools on how to properly and effectively save money for my future, which has left me feeling like I can continue to work a job on “my terms.”
I no longer care how others perceive my way of life.
It helps that I don’t have a high rent to pay, and I have a very minimalistic lifestyle, but I truly believe anyone can make a life of simplicity work. It starts with a shift of priorities – life can be as simple as you want it. For me – I prefer simple. So on I float, wherever the wind takes me. I have shifted my perspective at work and have been working on letting things affect me less. The entire reason I choose to work the jobs I do are because I want a low stress environment.
9. I also choose the jobs I do because a requirement for my life is flexibility. I have been feeling unfulfilled in my daily life lately with thoughts of future challenges and daily stressors at home. Without a proper balance of what makes me feel alive I start feeling bluer than a fresh batch of gorgonzola. I haven’t been riding my bike much lately, but this past weekend I took her out for a 20 mile spin on a beautiful farm road.
It took me a while, but the gravel bike I bought back in March finally feels like a glove. I feel peace and joy when I sit on the bike, just like I did with my mountain bike from Germany.
10. I am going to Sweden next week. One of my friends has family in Sweden, and he is just as impulsive as I am. It was a whirlwind of a decision, ticket purchase, and itinerary planning process, but I am taking the entire trip with a grain of salt. I will only be gone for twelve days, but I already miss Duncan. And my cat.
Q: What’s your confession?
33 thoughts on “Early Morning Confessions”
Grace @ Cultural Life
I’m sorry to hear anxiety has been rough on you recently. Anxiety and tension gets stored in my neck/shoulders as well, so I empathise with how uncomfortable it is. I found that a deep-tissue massage from my physiotherapist really helped, although that might not be right for everyone.
I hope the trip to Sweden will be a restorative break, that’s very exciting! Enjoy the fresh air and scenery, and maybe some Kanelbullar (Swedish cinnamon buns). I’ve never been, my closest contact with Sweden has been having a Swedish manager at work for a while and trips to IKEA haha. Whereabouts are you going?
I loveee a good deep tissue massage. I used to get massages weekly, I need to prioritize that again.
You’re the second person to tell me to try a Kanelbullar, I have a Swedish friend I hope to see and she suggested those too. Now I must! We’re going a few places, but all in the southern region. Sadly no big northern mountain quests this trip.
You miss Duncan and your cat….not your mom and sister.😭😭😂😂
LOL. You never read this.
I always read them.
Thistles and Kiwis
Enjoy your trip to Sweden! My husband is Swedish so it is a special place for me.
My confession? I put in minimum effort to my job.
I LOVE this confession. I have recently tried to adopt this way of working. It’s admittedly been a difficult process because I enjoy working hard, but time after time I have not been compensated for what I do, so I no longer go above and beyond. I just do the baseline. 🤷🏻♀️
Thistles and Kiwis
Honey De Armond
Your early morning confessions are my favorite of your blogs. Your Mom does have a point there! (wink). Enjoy your trip to Sweden; another place I would like to visit for sure. Love you.
I think they’re my favorite to write. Like a mental purge. 🤣 We will be visiting mostly the southern areas of Sweden, and I hope someday to go north into the big mountains. Love you too!
Where will you be headed in Sweden? I spent ten solo days there!
I remember!! I’m staying south, Stockholm outskirts and then to the southern coast. Visiting one of the many national parks one day, and some random stuff. Sweden wasn’t my first choice, but I can’t beat a cheap ticket and a free place to stay for the majority of it!
Sounds exciting still! At least you will be with people you know and have free accommodation so that should make it more enjoyable! I wouldn’t go back unless I had those things lol 🤣
I totally understand. I’m going in with a totally open mind!
I loved Sweden. We stayed near Stockholm. Hope you have a great time.
I hope so too! Thanks. 💃🏻
Some Small Things
Really loved your discussion of wanting simple. And making it happen. Feel just the same. My confession: I spent the first day of a trip in my hotel room watching food network.
That’s a great confession. I remember I took a solo trip to Poland a couple years ago, and I was feeling a bit off after my day of adventure. I spent a lot of time in my Air B&B watching music videos in a foreign language for a good chunk of the early evening while texting my mom. We do what we gotta do.
Not a confession but intrigued by your “long road with coffee”. I don’t like coffee but really wish I did as there is such a variety. Tea is boring in comparison!
I do love a good cup of tea, but tea could never do it for me like coffee. When I first started to struggle with my autoimmune disease coffee was a big trigger. My body was in a constant state of stress, and something about the caffeine and bean combo just sent my body into overdrive. I’ve had to step away from drinking it multiple times, and it still has an effect on me if I’m not careful, or when I’m more stressed, or if I drink it too early, so I have to respect the stuff.
I also have to make my coffee much less strong than I used to. If I order the coffee at a shop I will water it down. I don’t enjoy the jitters and the sweatiness or the anxiety I’ll get from too much caffeine, but I do love the coffee.
I will say there are plenty of varieties I do not like. And the ones I find unpalatable are the ones that make me feel off. Coffee is like wine and you just have to find the right blend, but it’s also ok if you don’t like it. For me – a good dark roast with notes of caramel and cocoa always does the trick. Full body, silky mouthfeel, pairs well with the foods I enjoy. I do not like light roasts.
I have the same coffee ritual in the morning, something relaxing and spiritual. I also have raging anxiety right now and try to calm it but it keep tearing it’s ugly head. I have a crunchy neck and my jaw has been locking, ugh. I totally would not have been able to leave Germany without the Birkenstocks either. So happy that they worked out for your job. A trip to Sweden sounds lovely, enjoy it and I’m looking forward to hearing about it!
I’m sorry to hear you are having raging anxiety right now too. At least we have our morning coffee to calm us, even if only for a moment.
I was literally JUST thinking about you and Europe!! Well, Germany specifically, of course. 😉 I read an article about Füssen, and it mentioned the nearby castle being an inspiration for Walt Disney’s castle. Didn’t you visit that at some point? Or am I totally misremembering?? Either way… I hope you have an amazing trip to Sweden!
Also… Anxiety is really tough. Even worse when some of the things we used to be able to do to reduce its effects, like hiking or running or exploring, just aren’t possible. That sounds miserable to have your shoulders seize up like that — and for so long! Sending you the biggest virtual hug in the world. I hope you find relief from your anxiety and physical symptoms really soon! ♡♡♡
Aww, I have been to the castle near Füssen. It’s called Neuschwanstein. The castle interior was never finished, and there is such a story about the king who built it. He also has two other castles. I would much rather be going to Germany for golden October, but I’m sure Sweden will be lovely!
Thank you for the kind thoughts. I really need to learn to chilllll out!
My black cat also loves to go outside, but we need to get our fence fixed – they were supposed to come last week and never did! Hopefully next. I think that’s a great way to start the day. I used to go for a walk outside with my husband every morning before work, but we haven’t gotten around to fitting that back in our routine since the baby was born. I hope you get to do some more hiking and biking, soon!
I love the idea of morning walks, I used to do that when I was younger. My partner doesn’t love walks like I do, but he will oblige me and go for afternoon walks with me in a nearby forested park area. Walking is such a beautiful way to spend time and to relax.
I hope you get your fence fixed soon! The joy I see my cat experience when he runs around the yard is unbeatable.
Bleu and Chakra are still not sold on their new kitty stroller, but they are doing better. I have hope! I’ve also been feeling bad that they are in a condo all day (although they’ve always been able to go out onto the balcony, that gets boring too). And you’re back on coffee?! Yippee! LOL! I do hike alone, well, I do everything alone…I have to. But, now you are making me question that. Like you, my Android phone is now old (in tech terms) at 3+ years and 3 cracks in the screen, but I just can’t bring myself to spend $$$ for a new phone. And NONE of the mid-range price options are great. I’m not really interested in paying $800-$1,800 for a phone for a “good” one!
I would love to get my cat a stroller, or a back pack although I don’t think he would like the backpack and he would be heavy. I see a lot of balcony cats at Duncans apartment and they look happy enough! Soaking up some sun haha.
YESS I am back on coffee, have been for a good while now thank GOODNESS. I just have to severely water it down or it’s too strong for my weak body. LOL. Whatever it takes.
The stroller went horribly wrong! I had to return the piece of crap. On the cats’ 5th walk, Bleu pushed his head into the front mesh and the entire zipper broke open and he and Chakra took off running! OMG! It was hellish trying to catch them and get them back to the condo. Thankfully we weren’t walking along busy Zia Road as they could have gotten killed! I was so upset.
OHHHNOOO!! The mental image of them taking off (knowing that they are safe) made me laugh, BUT, I would have been PISSED. I’m so glad they were ok.
I read your paragraph about your cat to Jimmy and we were cracking up! He reminds me so much of Malcolm!! Malcolm loves going outside (and trying to sneak out) and also gets a bit sketchy but he loves it so we let him whenever we can keep an eye on him!
I love this hahaha. I think our cats are long lost mischievous brothers. I was nervous at first letting him out, but overall it has gone well and it makes him SO happy. He is officially addicted.