I find myself bouncing back and forth between blog posts that have some sort of underlying message about life, to blog posts that have no outline or purpose other than to put mind thoughts to paper – or internet pages. This post falls into the latter category.
I turned 27 last week, which is an odd feeling because when I hear 27 all I think about is, “three years from 30” which is terrifying. Not to say there is anything wrong with being 30, in fact I somewhat look forward to turning 30 because I hope by then my life will be together. What’s terrifying is that I feel nothing like an adult, and my lifestyle is still somewhat juvenile.
I’m thankful that I’ve finally, and I repeat FINALLY buckled down to finish my college degree after eight years of back and forth nonsense. From psychology, to dental hygiene, to dental assisting, to nutrition, to where I am now with ASU. I swore I’d have some kind of medical degree like my dad, but alas I’m better with words.
Let me be a prime example that it’s never too late to finish something you’ve started.
The last few years have been spent soul searching. I’ve discovered a sense of who I am, which is a crucial puzzle piece of life when you’re in your 20’s. I know I’m not done yet and lately I’ve started to feel the sense that something is missing, but I’m not quite sure what. I tend to get stuck in my comfort zone which is where I am once again.
This happens to me when I run, I get comfortable staying between 3-6 miles and my fitness eventually plateaus. This is when I get impulsive and sign up for another half marathon, like I did last month. I sometimes need a push to step outside my mandala of butterflies and rainbows.
I am thankful for everything that I have right now – a loving family that supports me in every way, a house over my head, a small but solid friendship circle, and a stable job that allows me to finish school, go on adventures, pick my schedule, and coworkers that love me regardless of my wind blown hair after biking to work.
Despite my blessings, I now need more. These feelings creep up whenever I notice myself getting complacent with my comfort zone. I have all the means to take a giant leap in life, but I find myself needing the push. I’m trusting the process and putting the vibes into the world that I’m ready. For what I don’t know, but I’m ready.
I don’t often look at the bigger picture because I truly believe life is meant to be enjoyed right now, and too many of us get so stuck on what we want later in life that we miss the beauty that’s right in front of us. Disclaimer: I don’t mean throwing everything into the gutter just to have fun, I mean building a life of balance right NOW instead of later when you have X,Y, and Z accomplished.
With that said, I’m heeding my dads advice of “look at what you want later, and do what you have to now to make that happen.”
I want independence (in other ways that I have now), I want stability (not related to money), I want a place of my own (specifically something tiny and on wheels), I want world exposure (without the fear of getting lost), but mostly I want balance.
I can feel my inner world slightly off-kilter, and despite being semi locked into life right now (to finish school I must stay with Starbucks for at least another 1.5 yrs because they are footing the bill, yeehaw) I’m looking towards the future for once instead of living in the moment. I must trust my current process to propel me somewhere amazing later in life.
Perhaps that in and of itself is a slight sense of balance.
After all that, it turns out this post actually had more purpose that I expected. 🙂 Things are changing in my world, and I’m honoring the flow of life by conforming to the changes.
Q: Who can relate?