Friday I got a mani/pedi. My first ever mani/pedi combo, and probably my last. Lets back up to the beginning of the day. I went to visit a friend that lives across the water in Seattle. Upon arrival she suggested we get a manicure and/or a pedicure for a fun “girls” day. If you have read my blog for a while, you’ll know I am not very “girly.” I agreed to go despite my non girl like tendencies and lived by the phrase, “there’s a first time for everything.”
Nail lady: “Hi welcome to #%@KG nails, wha can you like?” (she was very hard to understand)
My friend: “I’ll have a mani/pedi please.”
Me: ***Quick, what do I want..panic panic panic***..”ME TOO.” (ah shit no turning back now)
I pick my color, a disgustingly old woman like color of a deep red/brown. I don’t know why..I must have still been in a state of panic and just grabbed the first round bottle.
Something like this, only this is not my bottle..or my hand. My color is a tad brighter too. Moving on.
I sit down and immediately I am surrounded by tiny women. The chair is uncomfortable, probably because every muscle in my body is tense. Including my glutes. I stick my feet into boiling water upon request. I pulled them RIGHT back out, “OWW TOO HOTTTT!” After a small laugh, the woman cools the water (a little, it was still hot the second time, but I sucked it up to appear tough.) It looked something like this.
In simpler terms, I felt like Katniss when she was getting prepped for the fancy interviews. I was the mangled, disheveled girl that was in dire need of a nail cleanup. They picked, prodded, laughed, and talked in a different language. I hated it. I knew they were talking about me saying things like, “this crazy girl has never done this, quick take away her woman card!”
Lady number one: “No wo$% today?”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Lady number one: “Work, no work today?”
Me: “Ohh no, I have a day off! =)”
Lady number TWO: “Ohhi wiheqtis$^##@^744”
Then both one and two are staring at me, as if they are expecting a response to the gibberish that lady number two said..
Me:…………“Yeahh I don’t know when I go back *mumble mumble, awkward laugh*”
Did I mention they were hard to understand?
Just when I thought things were coming to an end, lady number one leans me forward and starts SLAMMING on my back with her fists. IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A MASSAGE!?
My feet are soft, thanks to whatever chemical gels this place put on my skin. My nails are already chipped, thanks to 7 hours of work and an 8.5 mile hike the very next day. My bubble was popped, thanks to tiny women speaking different languages getting too close to my no-no space. I’d say that was $40 well spent. Next time, we’re shooting guns.
Q: Do you get mani/pedis? Next time, I’m going to a spa..and getting ONE at a time!
Blissfulbritt 
57 thoughts on “The Mani/Pedi”
caloricandcrazy
what an interesting mani/pedi experience! I’m scared of getting a mani/pedi from a salon just because of safety reasons, but i have gone to a salon to get my eyebrows waxed before. i went with a friend who got a mani, and then after the lady did her nails, she started slapping my friend’s arms (supposed attempt at an awkward massage??). haha 🙂
Brittany
They started slapping my friends calves! The slaps and pounds are just too much for me, haha.
Kelly @leafynotbeefy
haha, oh dear, sounds like quite the experience! I have never had either, and would probably only get them for my wedding or something like that. I did get a deep tissue massage once… and was in serious pain for about 3 days afterwards, haha… and we do this to ourselves, why?? 🙂
Lou
Ha, you make me laugh… I’m so the same as you – I’ve actually never had my nails or toes (ick) done…. I’d rather spend the $40 on chia seeds or something like that 🙂 I’m kinda allergic to most “girly” stuff!
Brittany
I’m with you on that, $40 bucks on nails is a joke. Again why I won’t be doing this again!
GOtheXtraMile
I seriously just died. This was hilarious. That’s SOO weird that they did your nails and toes at the same time? I’ve gotten TONS of mani/pedis and they have never done that, they’re not supposed to! It’s supposed to be relaxing, although the water is usually too hot and I scream and I can never understand them either lmao
Miranda @ Biting Life
Oh my god hahaha this is hilarious! I’ve never had a mani-pedi. I didn’t realize they do it at the same time. I can see why that would be super uncomfortable. I usually like pedicures, but I think it tickles too! They always laugh at me.
Khushboo Thadani
Hahah that was hilarious- your posts always make me laugh out loud! I love going for mani/peds. If I go longer than 3-4 weeks without one, I start to feel so grimy and NEED to book one in! Especially in Mumbai where I wear flip flops a lot, non-pedicured toes are very noticeable! However I won’t lie: the potential of chipping my newly-done nails always stress me out!
nicole marie story
dear god i laughed so hard at all of this!!!!!!!!! i’m rather frugal so only engage in quarterly manicures and pedicures but absolutely maintain the professional services on my own, during the in between real professional sessions. a former ballerina (i like to say prima ballerina because it sounds prettier and more dramatic although i absolutely was not a prima, haha) – so i’ll start over again: a former prima ballerina, my toenails have history of just falling off at any point in time. MAYBE the bulimia affected that, but when i stopped going to China for my services (said in the nicest way possible) and found a REAL aesthetician, my nail life was changed forever! so i don’t do it as a form of pampering – i do it as a form of personal hygiene. yay for your nails! my favourite colour is Rouge Noir by Chanel, La Moss by Butter London, and HRH by Butter London (royal dark purple – fit for the queen!). 🙂
* I will give the oriental nail girls credit for their callus removal skills – second to none!!!!!!!!!
Brittany
HAHAHA “when I stopped going to China for my services.” Trust me…I wanted to drop the China bomb all throughout this post, but I decided to be appropriate. My big toe nail fell off once due to a soccer game. I was in high school and had a prom to attend. Instead of leaving a bare spot that didn’t match the rest of my nails, I painted my skin to match. HAHA.
thoughtsappear
That’s not at all like what they do out here. They do them separately…and there’s no fist pounding.
I don’t have the patience for manicures because I chip my nails before the day is out, but I do occasionally do pedicures.
Emma
I usually don’t get my nails done (or hair/massage/etc) because I hate spending so much money! There were a couple times when I got acrylic nails though, which seemed like a more worthy investment.
Brittany
I agree, the price is never worth it to me.
Asmita (@FoodieAsmita)
That is a very funny post! I very rarely get my nails done. I am always cooking and washing dishes, my polish chips off easily. And then I feel like it was such a waste. So I have some 50 colors from Essie in my nail polish collection and every 2 days I change my polish at home.
I actually loved the polish on your nails. It’s beautiful!
Brittany
It’s definitely a waste for me, I am glad for the experience..but will not be going back haha!
Lift Eat Repeat
You crack me up!!! I never get either of these because, like you said, they chip way too fast and I can’t stand people touching my feet!
Pumpedpumpkin
HAHAHA Oh man I never go get mani/pedis for that very same awkward reason. My feet are gross, I don’t want anyone else to witness them. I do sometimes get a mani with shellac only because it lasts SO much longer and with regular nail polish it’s chipped by the time I get my keys out to go to the car
Tessa @ Amazing Asset
Hahha oh goodness waht an experience you had! Awkwardddd, and that is the reason I have my doubts about them too! Plus with manis, I ruin them within about 90 minutes if I am lucky. Not worth the time and money at all!
HautePinkPretty
This is hillarious! I probably would have left LOL Xox ❤ hautepinkpretty.com
kadeecramer
I know so much how you feel hahaha! I get pedicures a lot but never manicures.. I have one place I like to go and even though I can’t understand them they do such a good job and are really nice so I don’t mind. However anytime I venture out and go somewhere else it ends in awkwardness and chipped nails and wasted money.
One time my mom and I went to the nail salon in the mall…. We left with bruises on our shins from a “massage” that was 15 minutes or so of agonizing pain that I was too chicken to say anything about because I didn’t want them to make fun of me in a language I don’t understand.
Becky
I used to have acrylics about 10 years ago, and that’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to a manicure. I don’t think I will EVER get a pedicure. The whole thing seems more stressful than relaxing in my book, and your post confirms that! LOL
Natalie @Will Jog For Food
I had that done once, and just like you, NEVER again! I get manicures… and especially pedicures.. to relax. And a two at once combo is not the way to do that.
p0cahontas
Nice post, pedicures aren’t always terrifying I promise : ) BTW just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! http://abetteryeartoabetterlife.com/2012/04/10/they-like-me-they-really-like-me/
Christina Does It All
HAHA Your artwork. It’s fab. I need a mani/pedi! I suck at getting pedis though. I’m really ticklish and so it just doesn’t turn out so well….
imakeeper
ahhhhhh I was dying when I read this. First, at the title I was like ‘But she wouldn’t do that!’ Alas, peer pressure can get you. I love the drawings!!! I have gone a few times to get my done, but you are totally right about the little fists of fury. I don’t let my feet get massaged too much or that ‘scrap’ thing, ew. My BFF get a pedi and then weeks later, had an infected ingrown toenail. We call it her ‘Frodo’ toe, because it looks like a hobbit toe. Legit. Tis nassssty.
Love Live & Learn
Oh Brittany you do make me laugh! Although it definitely puts me off having a manicure or pedicure as I’ve never had either. Your drawings are hilarious, definitely helped emphasize the point haha. I am actually quite girly but I find things like getting my hair done actually quite stressful! Having said this, when I finally manage to grow my nails (horrible nail biter!) I am definitely treating myself to a luxurious manicure 🙂
katalysthealth
bahahahaha this is great. Oh gosh so funny. Ya I don’t get mani/pedi’s often. One because they dont last long on me since Im a soccer player. My toes get JACKED up during a game and the polish always chips off in a week. But I do go for special occasions, and I just make sure to go with a friend so that I can talk to them and ignore the crazy asian lady going to town on my feet lol
Lisa
I have gotten both, but they’ve never done them like that! I don’t like pedis (but I could really use one)—it tickles and I don’t enjoy it..but I like the results! I can live without manis for sure.
Alyse
Ha, sorry you felt like Katniss! I love me some pedicure action – it does so much for keeping running / yoga feet presentable!
Sylvia @ Frolic Through Life
Haha I love the Hunger Games refrence, but I can totally see how you felt like her. I really don’t like when you go to get a mani/pedi and they do both things at once. I love the place I go to because it has massage chairs, which your sore muscles could have benefitted from!
B
Weird. I’ve had a Mani/Pedi and they did each part seperate! First they did the feet and after that was finished, we’d go over to the other area for our hands.
hippierunner
LOL!
savor the sweet life
I only get gel pink and white nails (I bite my nails if I don’t!). I don’t like getting pedicures…I can do it a home with out all the hassle 😛
Haydee Costello
This was utterly hilarious! Thank you for making me laugh. My sister and I were just commenting that where we live we the salons don’t do both at the same time so we wanted to look up a place that did and I came about your post. I’ve never laughed so hard thank you!
Brittany
Thanks Haydee, I had to go back and reread this was so long ago. What an experience. 😉 Enjoy your mani/pedi!
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anna
this is horribly racist. bummed not to be able to read your blog anymore, but try to find a way to make this story funny without the bigotry (subtract the racist commentary and it will be funny again).
Brittany
Hi Anna, please note not a single comment about any race was made within this post. My intention was not to be racist, apologies if you were offended. Thank you for the comment, take care.
anna
Lady number one: “No wo$% today?”
Lady number one: “Work, no work today?”
Lady number TWO: “Ohhi wiheqtis$^##@^744”
Then both one and two are staring at me, as if they are expecting a response to the gibberish that lady number two said..
Me:…………“Yeahh I don’t know when I go back *mumble mumble, awkward laugh*”
Did I mention they were hard to understand?
—-
read this back to yourself. can you elaborate on gibberish?
Anthony
As usual Britt, you entertain me greatly. Sorry it wasn’t the experience that TV shows make it out to be.
Brittany
That’s OK, it was a story to laugh at! I went back to the same place so it couldn’t have been that bad, right? 🙂
Ellie
I have never gotten a pedi because I am embarrassed about the state of my running feet. They are callused and some of my toenails are missing. I have gotten manicures before and it felt nice. I haven’t painted my nails in a while though because I would chip them washing crap at work. However, I just got a new job and want to start painting them again 🙂
Jess @PTcontender
I have only gotten one pedicure before and I didn’t like it at all! I thought they shaped my nails weird and unnatural lol and it was so ticklish! not a fan.
Brittany
I was definitely ticklish too. It was hard to sit still. HA.
rootchopper
So envious of your cartooning skills!
Brittany
Ahhhahah.
Angie
Love the humor, Brittany. Yes, used to all the time when I wasn’t traveling, but mostly pedis. Now, I give myself one. My favorite spa to go to in Seattle is Ummelina. You should check them out if you have a chance.
Brittany
Thank you for the recommendation! I’ll have to look for them!
Angie
They’re right across from Westlake Center, on 4th Ave. Ah, now I’m dreaming of spa time.
Brittany
Come to Seattle! Then take me back with you. Haha.
Angie
Ha, I wish! I don’t think I’ll make it back there until 2018 or 2019!
danaelizabethx
this is hysterical!! I HATE getting mani/pedis – my feet are too ticklish! LOL! I end up kicking everyone – so for the safety of all I just don’t go – plus I didn’t find it very relaxing either! LOL!
Brittany
Exactly! It was only to make my feet presentable, not for relaxation haha.
Cattie's World
ha ha ha ha. What Fun you had. Loved your drawing of the “Scenes”.
Next when you go, always be firm that you want only one lady/guy attendant.
Actually when you are stressed, the best calming relaxation for you, is to have a “head Massage” and a “Pedicure”. See your top needs to be Cooled and you end (Feet) have all the nerve ending, so they need to be massaged with experts hands .
Cattie's World
Cattie's World
Cattie's World