Friday I got a mani/pedi. My first ever mani/pedi combo, and probably my last. Lets back up to the beginning of the day. I went to visit a friend that lives across the water in Seattle. Upon arrival she suggested we get a manicure and/or a pedicure for a fun “girls” day. If you have read my blog for a while, you’ll know I am not very “girly.” I agreed to go despite my non girl like tendencies and lived by the phrase, “there’s a first time for everything.”
Nail lady: “Hi welcome to #%@KG nails, wha can you like?” (she was very hard to understand)
My friend: “I’ll have a mani/pedi please.”
Me: ***Quick, what do I want..panic panic panic***..”ME TOO.” (ah shit no turning back now)
I pick my color, a disgustingly old woman like color of a deep red/brown. I don’t know why..I must have still been in a state of panic and just grabbed the first round bottle.
Something like this, only this is not my bottle..or my hand. My color is a tad brighter too. Moving on.
I sit down and immediately I am surrounded by tiny women. The chair is uncomfortable, probably because every muscle in my body is tense. Including my glutes. I stick my feet into boiling water upon request. I pulled them RIGHT back out, “OWW TOO HOTTTT!” After a small laugh, the woman cools the water (a little, it was still hot the second time, but I sucked it up to appear tough.) It looked something like this.
In simpler terms, I felt like Katniss when she was getting prepped for the fancy interviews. I was the mangled, disheveled girl that was in dire need of a nail cleanup. They picked, prodded, laughed, and talked in a different language. I hated it. I knew they were talking about me saying things like, “this crazy girl has never done this, quick take away her woman card!”
Lady number one: “No wo$% today?”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Lady number one: “Work, no work today?”
Me: “Ohh no, I have a day off! =)”
Lady number TWO: “Ohhi wiheqtis$^##@^744”
Then both one and two are staring at me, as if they are expecting a response to the gibberish that lady number two said..
Me:…………“Yeahh I don’t know when I go back *mumble mumble, awkward laugh*”
Did I mention they were hard to understand?
Just when I thought things were coming to an end, lady number one leans me forward and starts SLAMMING on my back with her fists. IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A MASSAGE!?
My feet are soft, thanks to whatever chemical gels this place put on my skin. My nails are already chipped, thanks to 7 hours of work and an 8.5 mile hike the very next day. My bubble was popped, thanks to tiny women speaking different languages getting too close to my no-no space. I’d say that was $40 well spent. Next time, we’re shooting guns.
Q: Do you get mani/pedis? Next time, I’m going to a spa..and getting ONE at a time!