Do you ever notice those people at the gym that just glow? They have a sexy factor of 10/10 , and it’s almost like they float while they are sweating just the right amount…I am NOT one of those people. Some people meet their soul mates at they gym, but let me tell you why that will never happen to me…
1. Unless I go to the gym after work, I don’t have a drop of makeup on. I literally roll out of bed at times and still have the, “I look like I got mauled by bees because my face is so swollen”/sleepy face. Then again, I barely wear makeup anyway.
2. I don’t glisten, I look like Free Willy emptied his blow hole all over my face 5 minutes into a good workout. I’m not complaining, in fact I LOVE when I start to drip sweat..but boy do I look like a hot mess. I sometimes even drip from my forearms..WOOF.
No…that’s not a bald spot. My hair is so full of sweat it’s matted itself together exposing my scalp. This picture does no justice to my entire body.
3. I don’t always have fresh shaved legs..or pits..and I wear tank tops. I’ll spare you that photo. I guess I fit in with the hippies I danced with a few weeks ago more than I thought.
4. My wardrobe is almost strictly for function, not for fashion. My clothes are old, and I roll my pants up if they are too long. My body parts need to stay in place, and cute tops and short shorts just don’t offer the function I need. I look like I got dressed in the dark.
5. I’m channeling my inner hippie again with this, but I don’t wear deodorant. I will put some baking soda under my arms to help any odor, and in everyday life this works. At the gym, with a combination of wearing day old clothes and sporting Free Willy’s spit..well..I don’t smell like a fresh licked kitten I’ll just put it that way.
I am sure there are many other reasons why I won’t find a date at the gym like when I grunt to clear my throat, or blow the sweat off my nose and it hits the wall, but I’m strictly there to workout and that’s exactly what I do! Alright, I’m off to torture my bum at spin!
Q: What unattractive qualities or tendencies do you possess at the gym?
