Do you ever notice those people at the gym that just glow? They have a sexy factor of 10/10 , and it’s almost like they float while they are sweating just the right amount…I am NOT one of those people. Some people meet their soul mates at they gym, but let me tell you why that will never happen to me…
1. Unless I go to the gym after work, I don’t have a drop of makeup on. I literally roll out of bed at times and still have the, “I look like I got mauled by bees because my face is so swollen”/sleepy face. Then again, I barely wear makeup anyway.
2. I don’t glisten, I look like Free Willy emptied his blow hole all over my face 5 minutes into a good workout. I’m not complaining, in fact I LOVE when I start to drip sweat..but boy do I look like a hot mess. I sometimes even drip from my forearms..WOOF.
3. I don’t always have fresh shaved legs..or pits..and I wear tank tops. I’ll spare you that photo. I guess I fit in with the hippies I danced with a few weeks ago more than I thought.
4. My wardrobe is almost strictly for function, not for fashion. My clothes are old, and I roll my pants up if they are too long. My body parts need to stay in place, and cute tops and short shorts just don’t offer the function I need. I look like I got dressed in the dark.
5. I’m channeling my inner hippie again with this, but I don’t wear deodorant. I will put some baking soda under my arms to help any odor, and in everyday life this works. At the gym, with a combination of wearing day old clothes and sporting Free Willy’s spit..well..I don’t smell like a fresh licked kitten I’ll just put it that way.
I am sure there are many other reasons why I won’t find a date at the gym like when I grunt to clear my throat, or blow the sweat off my nose and it hits the wall, but I’m strictly there to workout and that’s exactly what I do! Alright, I’m off to torture my bum at spin!
Q: What unattractive qualities or tendencies do you possess at the gym?
68 thoughts on “Five Reasons Why I Won’t Meet My Husband at the Gym”
Well, hello, fellow sweater. I sweat, I turn red…and I hate talking to people while I’m working out.
kathy @ vodka and soda
holy crap SAME HERE. no makeup, hair pinned back in a messy bun, grunting like a pig when i lift, don’t care about shaved pits or legs and cute workout gear? AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FO’ DAT. if the clothes fit properly, then that’s what i wear. hell, i can’t even muster up the energy the dress properly FOR WORK, let alone get dolled up for the gym. and at the gym, i DON’T TALK TO ANYONE. when i’m in my zone, YOU DON’T EXIST.
First of all.. I own no “gym outfits” — notimefordat. But mostly because I pay NO mind to how I look whilst there and most of it is spent in a faded and stretched $15 bathing suit from the Kids section at Target that may have had a ruffle or bow cut off. I look …challenged. LOL.
And yet I talk to all the people there and make so many friends when they see me out and about they are like..whoa! I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.
Then people nearby give me a funny look.
Lora @ Crazy Running Girl
So I disagree, your future husband may be falling in love with your naturalness at the gym… 🙂
I don’t brush my teeth or hair before going running. I sometimes wear the same clothes several days in a row. I tell my husband it’s my strategy to not get kidnapped while I’m running the streets alone. 🙂
I LOVE your strategy, however I MUST brush my teeth before I leave my house. It’s just a quirk I possess. HA!
Thanks for the laugh, that’s some really funny stuff! Embrace your hot mess and have fun! I never undestood those well dressed, jewelery wearing, makeup wearing, not sweating girls at the gym. What’s the point?!
I just don’t get it…I see these girls DOLLED to the max like they are going to a club and I’m like..no..just no.
Alex @ therunwithin
amen to this! wardrobe so about function, I never ever look cute. And glisten, let’s call ‘i dumped a bucket of water on me but I swear I am a girl’
I’m not much of a sweater but I look like a hot mess when I’m working out too. Especially running. This week, it was so cold that my eyes were tearing up and probably freezing on my face so anyone who passed me probably through I was high or something. And don’t get me started on my nose drip. Or my outfits when it’s cold out. I could go on forever but basically, I don’t work out to look good. I work out to get my sweat on (the little of it that I produce) and no guy, or person, will get in my way of doing that. A-men girl.
This is hilarious! I don’t have freshly shaven legs/pits everyday I go to the gym either (wayyyy too much work!). I also look like I was just ran over everytime I leave the gym haha You never know, that might be exactly what turns your future hubby on 😉
Lacey@ Life Hands you Limes
Oh my goodness I love this! When I go for a run I don’t care what I look like -wedgies, shirts that look like pi’s, matted hair, red faced- I’m just like, ‘judge me all you want but you’re not the one kicking asphalt!’ hahaha! I never understand those people (cough mom) who put on makeup and dangly earrings to go to the gym!I’ve even seen women working out in designer, rhinestoned shoes -REALLY?
Dangled earrings and rhinestone shoes!?!? I have no words…hahaha.
Change of Pace
K- you still look amazing red-faced and sweaty!
Funny story- I met Kelly at the gym, and not in the creepy gym pick up way! I was wet with sweat after every session and definitely blew sweat dripping off my face, wore stinky clothes and zero makeup, and did not have a leg/armpit shaving schedule!
The good thing is I looked my worst so I could only go up from there!
Hahahah I sweat like a man too!!! I can completely relate. And yes pictures never do it justice, I look like I went swimming it’s disgusting
Kristina at damntenpounds
First of all, you do not look like a hot mess AT ALL! And second, that’s what you’re supposed to look like when you leave the gym! On the plus side, if you did meet someone at the gym, you’d know he was in for the long haul! I am such a jerk at the gym. I expect everyone to read between the lines that if my headphones are in, STFU and back off. That’s universal gym code, right? Maybe I’m a big fat meanie, but my workouts are my “me time.”
kelly @ racesrepsramblings
I love this! I hear you on almost all of these (except the no deodorant thing.. not sure I’m brave enough for that). I turn SO red when I work out – I just look like a crazy person. But you know what… that’s what the gym is for… so I think you’re using it as intended 😉
Amazing!!! And I’m so guilty of many of these! I am usually so drenched I slip & slide off my car arm rest after a workout. Plus, most of the guys in my gym are more focused on checking themselves out, no thank you!
HAHAHA I mentally pictured your arm slipping in your car, so good. TRUTH about those guys…nooooo thanks man!
Before Mike and I started dating and were just friends, I did everything I could to avoid him if I saw him at the gym because of a lot of these things. The only reason I would have makeup on is if I’m coming from work (and let’s be honest, it’s not really healthy to have makeup on your face when you’re going to be sweating anyway), and I sweat like crazy too. I used to always work out in too-big tshirts and shorts – this has changed since Mike started buying me workout clothes (he works at a gym so is kinda obsessed with them haha).
I like what Kristina said – workouts are most definitely “me time”!
“I look like Free Willy emptied his blow hole” Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Love your posts! Thanks for jollying me up on a rubbish day! 🙂
Omg #2 has me crying. So me! Hahahahaha
An Unrefined Vegan
Workout time is definitely Solo Time. I’m not there to look good. However…I did meet Kel at my gym. Guess he’s the kind of guy who can see beyond the sweat, messed up hair, and crumpled workout clothes; i.e., a keeper!
A keeper indeed!! I love it!
Jan @ Sprouts n Squats
Loved this post so funny!
Lucky I don’t need to meet anyone at the gym but I dont like making eye contact with anyone when I am there I just want to get my workout done and leave!
I completely agree with all of this. I am pretty darn sure I will not meet my future husband at the gym…unless they see me before I am all nice n’ sweaty! I don’t care how I look nor do I match my clothing. Sometimes I use the smell test to see if I can get another day in my capris lol. Yes, I admitted that. 😉
Oh girl, I think I’ve singed a few nose hairs with one too many smell tests..no shame.
Amy @ A Desert Girl
Hells to the yeah. You’re just keepin’ it real, bein’ who you be. And if a guy is dissuaded from dating you just because of sweat and a little leg/pit hair, well, he wasn’t worthy anyway. You’re there. You’re healthy. You’re a catch!
I wear the same gym clothes over and over and over until they can stand up on the treadmill by their own threads from the stench and sweat. It ain’t pretty.
You’re doing it right!
The Savvy Sister
I think it’s a tie between us….I will take a shot of me at the gym…pretty horrifying…..And I seem like I’m on crack because I can’t help but do some crazy arm movements to my ipod music.
YES! This is one thing I forgot to mention, when a good song comes on..it’s game over and I look like a loon.
Rach @ This Italian Family
Ah, I love you Britt. You crack me up. I definitely don’t have cute matching clothes for the gym. I have shorts and yoga pants and teeshirts and hoodies. I wear some combination of those depending on the weather. 😉
Hahaha you are such a bad-A for writing this and for posting your gym-face photo! I just act like I want to kill everyone while I’m at the gym: stare straight ahead, stone faced, no eye contact.
Girl, GOOD FOR YOU for being yourself at the gym and being a-okay with it!! I bet guys are intimidated by your hard work to sweat that much. 🙂 I haven’t gone to a gym in, ummmm, a year and a half maybe? I don’t like being confined, and running in the same spot for an hour without any change of scenery bores me to tears. So nobody has to be subjected to my frumpy non-matching workout clothes. (Seriously… I wear purple leggings, a hot pink tank, and neon green sports bra. So not attractive.)
OH I hear you!! I don’t run when I go to the gym..nooo way. I will run outside, or at my house (I have a treadmill.) Runs inside aren’t more than 4miles these days, I just get SO bored! HA! Your workout wear is straight out of the 80’s and it sounds HOT!
It’s so true!! My parents have an elliptical trainer, and I’d bring the laptop in and watch a movie while I “ran.” If I liked the movie, it’d be easier to convince myself to go longer! 🙂
omg i feel you! 1. i also never wear makeup 2. i’m extremely lazy about shaving 3. i sweat like a motherfucker 4. i totally fart. sorry, i’m working out, i’m not going to expend the extra effort to hold that in.
Bahaha! I’m so with you on number 4!
HAHA HELL YES! I eat WAYYY too many vegetables to be held accountable for holding in every fart, that shit starts to hurt!!! FIRE AWAY!
Hahahaha! All I have to do is decide to work out and I start sweating and my face turns a lovely shade of purple. It’s certainly how I attracted my husband…err…
Yes, yes, yes to forearm sweat. It’s magically disgusting and I love it.
I’m not a pretty gym goer either. In fact, I get really red, like red enough where people have asked if I’m going to be ok. Since I have no to little hair, when it does get sweaty and matted, I look sort of bald. It’s an interesting look for me.
Max says he’s a little frightened of workout Meghan.
HAHAHAHAHAHA DITTO! I am not a saucy minx when I go to the gym… wait.. I’m never really a saucy minx. But I think we take pride in how sweaty and unattractive we are at the gym because, lets be serious, its THE GYM! If there is a place where we can be the grossest version of ourselves, its definitely there 😀 And I totally need to try the whole baking soda thing!!!
I think you’re a saucy minx for using the term “saucy minx.” HAHAHA.
Omg this is so true!! I agree 100% with each of these….and I especially love this description: ” I don’t glisten, I look like Free Willy emptied his blow hole all over my face” ahhh haha perfect!
Never say never. Some men just love that musky/skunky hippy type of scent! It turns them on! 🙂 LOL.
hahaha!!! too funny!!!
As of last February, I never went to the gym. You could find me either, running the trails/streets, or at a yoga studio. And although, I still take yoga and only run outside, I have now added weight lifting into the mix. So I am now at the gym 4-5x a week weight lifting in the weight room, surrounded by mostly men. I do dress pretty fashionable, but I wear my sporty clothes all the time, even when I am not working out. Unfortunately, I almost always see someone I know at the gym. I try to be friendly, but I hate talking to people when I am at the gym. My time is precious and when I am there I am trying to focus on getting a good work out in, not catch up with people.
I HATE seeing people I know!! I live in the town I grew up in so it’s inevitable, and doesn’t go well with my, “I look like hell” attire hahahaha. Owell, WHATEVER!
Davida @The Healthy Maven
hahahahha this is amazing! I feel ya on the shaving part. Not my jam and I definitely don’t hide it either! I also look pissed off at the gym so it’s doubtful anyone will ever approach me!
GiGi Eats Celebrities
GIGI IS DISGUSTING AT THE GYM =
– Sports Bra & Tiny Tiny Shorts
– Bloated thanks to… My AMAZING INTESTINES… And I will admit to not admitting that… A few TOOTS may have leaked out. LMFAO
– No Make Up – I look like a battered 5 year old child
– Bruised up white as snow legs – See above
– I hack every 5 seconds as if I am a chain smoker (nope, I just have had post nasal drip my entire life and it gets aggravated when I work out, AMAZING! – it sounds like I clogged faucet trying to drain… Or like I am hocking a LOOGIE)
– If someone comes to the gym and turns the TV on, I KILL THEM WITH THE LASERS THAT I CAN CONTROL WITH MY EYEBALLS
How I am not disgusting at the gym =
– I ALWAYS WIPE MY MACHINES DOWN…. However, I cannot say ANYONE ELSE DOES AT MY GYM!!!! I will SNAPCHAT YOU A PHOTO OF HOW FU**IN’ NASTYYYYYYYY Mr. Elliptical is when I greet him in the morning. I ALWAYS bring CLOROX WIPES WITH ME because I am totally OCD. But FOR GOOD REASON!!!!
So will I meet my future hubs at the gym……… Probably not. Have I dated my personal trainers before – YES. But that’s because………………. Fill in the blank.
PS: I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO THE GYM WITH YOU. We wouldn’t THINK “did he fart” we would YELL IT AT THE PERSON WHO FARTED and they would crawl into a locker in the locker room and cry! LMFAO!
I WIPE MY SHIT TOO!!! HAHA buttttt….I don’t wipe before I use..HAHA! I’m so gross. WHAT IF I WERE THE ONE TO FART?!?! WOULD YOU CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT?!?!!? HAHAHA. I actually wouldn’t care if you did….
GiGi Eats Celebrities
OHHHHH I WOULD CALL YOU OUT SO BAD, you’d never want to go to that gym again! LOL!!
Bahaha I love this! I turn into a total sweat monster in 2.5 seconds at the gym. My clothing is alwaysssss soaked. Yesterday I ran and then lifted with a friend who was running late so I was just kind of chillen for 15 minutes and once we started going again I was like hey there you smell like moldy socks miss ma’am. My friend on the other hand looked and smelled adorable. It’s tough being me
Can we do at least one gym workout together when I visit? We can be sweaty beasts together. Maybe we can even do a running hug.
Barbara Bamber | justasmidgen
Hahaha, I can’t imagine it’s as bad as all this:D You young gals can wear a paper bag and look gorgeous!! I met my husband at the gym.. so never say never!! Maybe one day a week, you could put on a little pink top and shorts and just pretend to work out like most of the other people there;)
AH I love it!! I’m sure you were just glowing at the gym and he couldn’t resist ya! 😉
Karla @ Finding My Fit
haha brittany i love you and your posts. The Free Willy comment made me LOL at work =)
I look like a trecherous mess when I go to gym before work. I have day (…or 2 day) old makeup hanging out under my eyes which really just make me look like I have horrible black circles under my eyes. And my hair. Let’s talk about that for a second–it’s at this unbearable length where I can get it in a knub pony and then the fly aways make me look like I’m literally in flight. It’s a site…
I could never meet my future husband at the gym either. Give me five minutes on any cardio machine and I am a sweaty mess. No one likes someone with pit stains and sweat dripping from their nose. HOWEVER, if I were to find a guy who would pick me up in this state… At least I know he would truly like me for ME. LOL
Heather @ HeatherRunsFast.com
Maybe it’s the perfect place to meet your future hubby! Hear me out… if a guy can accept you the way you are working out, he’s prob not a shallow douche bag. Then when you do get all dolled up, he’ll be like, DAMN GIRL you clean up nice! Plus, you’ve already got that awkward- here’s me with no make up- part over with. Get it girl!
ok…. don’t laugh…. but i have a tendency at the gym to hoot and yell randomally. like i get so into my run and im pounding away and just let out a ‘AHHHA!’ I always forget that I am a)not outside b)not alone and c)refer to a and b.
AND JUST TO LET YOU KNOW…. I’d never think I’d meet my husband at a race b/c I had many qualities you listed above (glistening sweaty face, smells, hairy pits and legs) but LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.
You just watch out missy. Your future husband might be lurking somewhere… watching.. and waiting after all your farts to speak and make contact.
Hit the nail on the head with this one!!! Question…why no deodorant?!
Sorry for the late reply to this!! I actually used to make my own deodorant to get away from all the chemicals in store bought deodorant, but then even making my own fell by the wayside when I discovered all I really needed was a dab of baking soda. HA!
This made me smile as you always do! I am glad I am not the only one that doesn’t look like workout barbie!
Also, I saw the movie About Time yesterday and I thought of you and that you would like it!! You should absolutely see it, even if you wait for it to hit the red box!
Haha that is me at the gym too. I honestly do not give a shit what anyone thinks of me at the gym. I only want them to think I’m a beast.. so the more beast I physically look, the better. 😛
Christina Does It All
Pshhh I’d totally want to marry you if I saw you at the gym. I may be a little biased ‘cuz I already know how awesome you are, but still.
di @ life of di.
I can totally relate to this (granted, I’m already married but I don’t think Marty would’ve ever dated me had we first met at the gym.) I (most of the time) hit the gym with no makeup. I only wear deodorant 50% of the time. I only shave my legs 1x/week. I’m definitely a sight to see some mornings 🙂 PS – You’re awesome!
Melissa @ Al Forno Mementos
haha everything is the same with me .. except number 5. haha that’s why I work out at home. plus the insecurity with my body doesn’t help matters. and I like the way you look after your workout! I wish I had red face after. instead I just look all kinds of disgusting.
Or you could have simply called this: 5 Reasons Nobody Ask Me Out At The Gym.