After spending a day in Rothenburg, Laura (my roommate) and I moved on to our next German town during our six day German road trip. We would be visiting three cities on this trip, I chose Rothenburg, she chose Bamberg, and we collectively agreed on Berlin (where we spent the majority of our time.)
We arrived in Bamberg on a Sunday, which meant most of the shops were closed. The highlight of our day in Bamberg was attending morning mass at the Bamberg Cathedral. My roommate Laura is catholic, so she requested a stop here. I wasn’t planning on staying for the mass, but I did and it was a unique experience.
After mass we wandered around the city for a while. Sunday was a less than ideal day to visit because when the shops are closed the cities are quiet. Bamberg has a hop on hop off bus, but the language is only in German. I rode along on the loop thinking I would be able to see some other areas, but it wasn’t very enjoyable because I couldn’t understand anything being said.
Plus, the bus never actually stopped for people to hop off…?
The highlight of my visit was sitting on one of the bridges and staring into the sky. I’ve been feeling a bit more anxiety than usual lately, and this day I was having a hard time. Could be caffeine, could be my diet, could be my job, could be anything at this point.
Bamberg is cute, but I don’t feel the need to ever go back. Perhaps it was the mood I was in when we went, or the ghost town vibes, but this wasn’t a German city that spoke to my soul. Regardless I am glad we went.
I am thankful for the opportunity I have right now, to live for free and travel Europe, but this isn’t really how I envisioned myself experiencing this country. My job is stressful, the environment where I live is not ideal, and half the time I’m so exhausted from my weeks I barely have energy or a desire to plan another trip.
Sometimes I worry that my lifestyle, while exciting, appears to be better than it is. I struggle often with my mental health, regardless of where in the world I am. I love traveling and I love the opportunities I have made possible for myself, but this life of adventure isn’t always fun.
I realize how privileged I am, but I want to emphasize that when someone is struggling with mental health, no amount of adventure can take that away.
Sometimes I really wish I were at my moms house, curled up in bed where I could hide for days until I felt better. Sometimes I feel so down I don’t even want to think about planning another trip. Sometimes I am so exhausted I daydream about leaving and finally putting my health before my adventures. Sometimes I just don’t want to adult.
Somedays I am up, somedays I am down just like anyone else, and traveling is exhilarating, but it’s also exhausting. Alas, the up days still outweigh the down days which keep me here. That and I signed a contract that I don’t intend to break. 😉 Overall I think I’m just having a funky couple months, but this too shall pass!
My point is, this day in Bamberg was a good example that my lifestyle isn’t always glamorous and exciting. I love the opportunity to travel and live in Europe, but as with all things on social media not everything is “perfect” and I still have my moments. 🙂 I don’t write this post seeking sympathy, I write this post to let others know they’re not alone. To tell the world and myself it’s ok to feel down.
Emotions come in waves and I fully intend to keep improving my emotional surfing skills. We only fail when we quit getting back up when we’re knocked down.