When I was a wee little lass, I never liked to be alone. I know, I know…those that know me would tell you otherwise. I thrive on solo adventures, I prefer being alone, and I’ve become an expert on isolation.
Younger Brittany felt anxious being in public without a friend by her side. Heaven forbid someone see’s her alone, and thinks she has no friends. Heaven forbid someone tries to talk to her without the buffer of another human being to act as a deterrent. Younger Brittany wouldn’t dare to go on adventures by her self.
If others couldn’t go, neither would she.
Solo bike ride.
Then one day, a little over four years ago this all changed. Gone was the girl that needed a friend to go to the movies, gone was the girl that needed a guy to feel complete, gone was the girl that did anything and everything “with someone else.” Most importantly – gone was the girl that put her life desires on hold because no one else wanted to do the same things she did.
Taking time to learn how to do things alone is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, until that gift has the opposite affect and you get uncomfortable being around other people. Human beings are social, and we were meant to be with others.
As with anything in life having a healthy balance of isolation and connections is key.
Solo hike.
It occurred to me a few weeks ago while I was on the above photographed solo hike, that I no longer thrive off of hiking alone all the time. I no longer prefer going on every adventure alone, and I am craving human connections like never before. I am constantly in awe of the human body, and when one aspect of our constantly working internal makeup is out of whack, the rest crumbles with it.
Solo ferry ride. 05:20. Who can spot the moon?
I’m also in awe of the fact that when we do not follow our hearts true desires, life starts to get difficult. Two years ago I made a transition with my job that I felt was “the right thing to do.” I hated what I was doing and almost instantly my health started to crumble. A year later I made another transition that I felt I should do, but didn’t really want to do and my health not only didn’t get better, it worsened.
It was in these moments that I started isolating more, and more, and more.
Last week I left my job in corporate America and transitioned back to working in a cafe for Starbucks. I took two steps backwards while most people strive to take one step forward in any job transition. I knew in my heart this job was not right for me, nor was any other position within those walls. So I stuffed the voices from society, and went back to stage one.
The key factor in this transition is that making coffee and connecting with people makes me happy. I won’t be a barista forever, but while I finish my last 9 months of school this is the right fit. More importantly this is what my heart was telling me to do.
This is what my heart was telling me to do for two years, but I ignored it.
Book reading cats always listen to their hearts.
So here I am, 28 years old, still in college, and working as a barista at Starbucks. And you know what? It feels right. I feel calm, and I feel happy. My lifestyle needs a job with flexibility, my lifestyle needs a job that allows for last minute travel, my lifestyle needs a job that has me moving non stop.
Life is not a template created by society that has a one size fits all tag, so why is it that so many of us care about how we are perceived if we are doing things we’ve labeled as not good enough? I isolated myself because I felt like I wasn’t good enough, and cared too much what others thought for far too long. I’m here to tell you that shit is exhausting, and in the end the only person you’re going to effect is yourself.
NON solo hike
I’m actively spending time with others again, but in all honesty it was hard to surround myself with people when physically I never felt well. It’s also hard to find quality friends as you get older, but no excuses. With a stronger grasp on dietary tweaks, and relief of job related stress I’m confident I’m on the right path.
I still very much enjoy being alone, but I’m finding the balance between solo time and time with others. Working in a cafe is not about making money for me right now (plus, I get paid more as a caregiver through WA state) it’s about making connections, meeting people, and allowing myself to thrive as a human being.
LAST DAY AT CORPORATE. So happy.
Blog BFF’s
The point of all this is to challenge and inspire those that read this to take an inward look at your life. Are you happy? I mean truly happy. Is there something that you could be doing that would make you happier, but you feel like you shouldn’t do it because you fear what others would think? Are you also experiencing health problems?
The mind body connection is strong my friends, and when your mind is toxic with fear and unhappiness your body will suffer the consequences. Stop living your life for other people, be selfish. You only get one, might as well enjoy the ride!
Oh, and we only get one planet so throw away your damn trash!
One of TWO trash hauls within a 15 minute walk. Shame.
Q: Did you know that those with a strong circle of healthy relationships live longer than those who don’t? Are you living an authentic life?
Blissfulbritt 
51 thoughts on “Isolation”
Nicole Marie Story
My dear, this post is beautiful, poignant, and inspirational beyond words. Have you viewed “Joy” starring Jennifer Lawrence? If no, then it is your immediate assignment. I love you!
Brittany
Oh how I love this comment! I do believe I saw it, but I must rewatch! Thank you. ❤
Andrew
Hurrah for ‘McJobs’! I personally found my life was much more interesting and vivid once I dumped my ‘career’ for a more flexible life in which a portfolio of what some would consider ‘crappy’ jobs paid my bills. One serious tip though for any barista – take care of your feet, mine got pretty sore after several years cafe work. Catering Crocs, or sorbothane insoles (this is not medical advice 😉 ) Great blog!
Brittany
GREAT advice, and my feet are my main concern. I currently have a pair of Clarks that treat me ok, but I’m always on the hunt for something better. Thank you!
Amy
Yes yes yes yes YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Girl, you KNOW how much I love and agree with all of this!! Moving has been the catalyst for so many great things already… And I feel like I’ve finally taken back my health by becoming at peace with where I’m at health-wise. It sounds silly, doesn’t it? But I figure you know what I mean! 🙈 SOOO proud of you for following your heart, even when it says to do something that society considers a “step back.” There are no such things as “steps backwards” when you’re simply following the path of your heart, one step at a time. ♡ And I don’t know if you’ve read it, but I’m really digging “The Law of Attraction” right now! Such a great read after “The Power of Now!” 🤓
Brittany
I just love you. I’m SO happy for you and this move. I totally understand finding peace with your health, really when we focus on it so much it only makes it worse!!! What a journey we’ve had. I’m not happy you have struggles, but I’m happy we’re in it together. Health wise! ❤❤
lksajflasjf
What a great post, and welcome back to the espresso bar! I love my cafe job too! The free time to go swimming every day and the dogs in the drive-thru more than make up for the big salary I had at one time 🙂
Brittany
Yassss! This is my first time working a drive thru, so fun! ❤☕️
Ellie
YAS GIRL YAS! I just made a life transition back to the life I had before because it was a right fit. Although I am happy I tried something else, I now know what place is right for me [right now]. It may change, but at least for now, I’m living my truth.
Brittany
Always changing, but living our truth is the only part that should never change! Love this, love you. ❤
rootchopper
I’ll have a mocha java. Make it a venti.
Everyone’s life if different. I have two kids who are transitioning to adulthood. Slowly. I am transitioning to retirement. Quickly. Stuff happens. You never know when you may get hit by an SUV or a bus or get cancer or god knows what.
My favorite songwriter is Neil Finn. He has written several songs about appreciating the life you have. “Anytime”is worth a listen. So is “Love This Live.”
You “could go at anytime. There’s nothing safe about this life. Love this life. Don’t wait ’til the next one comes.”
Cheers. Drink up. Breathe.
Brittany
This is all so true! Good songs too!
B
We need to start doing what makes us happy, and not what society thinks makes everyone happy. The office isn’t for everyone! Just like retail, or sales, or any other job out there. It’s about finding what works for you!
Brittany
So much truth!
Anthony
Britt, I am happy that you are listening to your body and soul for the directions your life should take. As a fan of your blog (and of you) I wish you all the happiness that is possible.
I totally agree that quality friends are important–I love that word Quality, maybe it’s in reference to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance….I feel very fortunate to have a small (we’ll say select) group of friends.
When I think of my work life, and the huge turnover in personnel, it gets much easier to tune out the ones that are just not in my orbit.
I need more time to ponder your words and how it will affect me. In the meantime, have an awesome day.
Brittany
I always enjoy your comments. Thank you. ❤🙏🏻
stateeats
Hi Britt – I am so glad you are following your heart and doing what you need to do right now to be the healthiest. Life is all about change, amiright? -Kat
Brittany
Preachhhh! So much truth. ❤
kathy @ more coffee, less talky
i love this so much. who cares what you are doing as long as you’re happy?! no one should follow a ‘template’ for life; following your heart towards happiness is the only thing that matters.
Brittany
Yassss. Thanks boo bear, love you. ❤
dave379
Yeah, keep taking care of yourself and doing you! I love the message and story and reminder to let go of caring so much what other people think. I’m definitely still working on it.
Brittany
Thank you, and it’s definitely an ongoing journey! ❤
Becca
I completely relate to the isolation struggle. It’s a fine line we introverts walk between healthy boundaries and building barricaded walls around our hearts. My drive through baristas are legitimately some of my very favorite people, they know my order (shot in the dark), are so down to earth, and genuinely make my day brighter.
Good on you for making the job shift that was right for you. It’s harder than people make it out to be, especially with the very real external pressures we face.
Life man, life. ❤
P.S. If loving coffee is wrong, I don't want to be right. This is one of my favorite images ever, hope it makes you laugh! http://www.northernsun.com/images/imagelarge/Coffee-Worship-T-Shirt-(1498).jpg
Becca
Rats, the link doesn’t work. Google image search “coffee worshipper cartoon” 🙂
Brittany
I love connecting with customers like that, it makes the job so fun! Thank you for the comment. ❤
Heather
The one thing holding me back from being happy is out of my control- getting pregnant. Sometimes I want to “give up the battle” and just settle with Kara but am afraid others will think thats selfish or judge me for giving up or not trying long enough. Other days, I’m all about pushing through and going through whatever I need to for Kara to have a sibling. And then I think about the cost- but that’s a whole other subject, haha. I agree that finding real friends in adulthood is hard! If only blog land was real. I’m happy that you’re happy and I’m happy that you’re saving the planet 🙂
Brittany
I can’t even begin to relate to you, so all I can do is send you love and encourage you to listen to your heart. I don’t at all see you deciding to have one child as selfish, but if you truly want two keep on fighting! Are you guys against adoption? Just curious. I wishhhh we could all be friends in real life!
Heather
Not against adoption, but when it comes down to cost, I could do IVF for less than adoption. I don’t really yern (spl?) for a 2nd kid to be honest. It’s more for Kara.
Brittany
You are a warrior my friend. If it’s in Gods plan it will happen. (Sorry to get all religious, butttt that’s what keeps me sane when I try to control too much.)
nikki
I love your posts about you work-life decisions. It’s so refreshing to see someone in this country actually checking in with themselves and making the right choices for themselves. It’s so hard to do. There’s so much pressure. I usually consider myself a lone wolf who dances to the beat of my own drum, not much affected by what society expects but I definitly struggle with my own BS (probably internalized from society somewhere).I guess I have so much fear of failure – whatever that means- mostly fear of being poor and homeless. I want to quit my job and work part time, make art and live in a way that honors my HSP, independent, slow living personality but I am so afraid to take the risk. I worked so hard to be where I am – I make decent money at a job that does good (albiet very stressful) work that leaves me so emotionally and mentally depleted. I have status, insurance, comfort – things no one in my family has and things I never thought I would have but I can’t handle the stress and constant social stimulation. I want a quieter, simpler life – I am just petrified to make the “Wrong” move and ruin my life.
Anyway, thank you for being brave, authentic and for sharing!
Brittany
Oh my, what a comment. Only you can make the best decision for yourself, but if I’ve learned anything along my journey thus far it’s that when you don’t listen to your bodies cry for change (stress, exhaustion, digestive issues) your body will eventually force you to listen. Sometimes then it’s too late. It took me getting slapped with an autoimmune disease and excessive food intolerances to start listening. Failure is only what we make up in our heads, but what really IS failure? If you’re living your truth and doing what feels right I’d say you’re far from a failure. I do understand your position, and it’s hard to step away from something so secure, but imagine living unhappy just to feel comfortable? I’m quite passionate about this as you can see. You’ll know what’s best, just keep listening to your heart. And trusting, if you are optimistic and trust your heart things will always work out, that I believe! We were given passions and desires for a reason. 🙌🏻❤❤
Brittany
Also, thank YOU for sharing. We’re all more alike than we realize. 🤗
Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets
Litterbugs make me furious unless of course it’s bread crumbs for the squirrels and birds and then it’s ok.
I’m so glad you followed your heart (eventually). Sometimes the most important lessons are the hardest to learn, especially when it involves keeping up with the Jones’. Often it’s too late before we realize we need to do us and say fuck the Jones’. We’re much happier in the long run.
I love you.
Brittany
I’m all about feeding those critters with bread.
SO.much.happier. I love you too. ❤
Alex
Dude. “gone was the girl that put her life desires on hold because no one else wanted to do the same things she did” THIS!!!!!!!!!!! As always, your words hit a chord!
As an only child, I love me some alone time. Whenever I’m in situations where I can’t isolate for awhile, I find my anxiety and stress go WAY up. It’s awesome to be around friends and family, but I think we all need to be with our own thoughts every once in awhile– to grow, learn more about ourselves and face our fears head on. But at the same time, I find it can be hard to decipher alone time versus building up impenetrable walls. Thanks for the thought-provoking post!!
Alsoooooo you da bomb for picking up dat trash!!! #wonderwoman
Brittany
Yasss to this all.
evolvewithmary
I always loved being alone. My alone time is precious. I always wonder how I would do in total isolation, maybe not so great lol. Balance is totally the key to life. Starbucks is one of the best jobs I’ve ever had!!! I’m happy you found your happy Britt! you rock so hard in my book.
Brittany
I will forever love my Starbucks days. I’m enjoying them while they last! ❤
Allie Zottola
So much I can relate to in this post, Brittany! I used to be on the “I want to be alone all the time” end of the spectrum, but realized I do like to have a good balance of time to myself and time with others. It takes some time to learn. I know what you mean about health crumbling when you’re doing something that feels like it’s not a good fit.
Brittany
Balance is key! ❤
P
I love that you are taking the path that makes you so happy. And that fact about those with more strong relationships around them lives longer lives? It makes so much sense. I’m starting to see that now and it feels so wonderful. So happy to see you happy too friend 🙂
Brittany
Thank you! If only you lived closer. 🤗❤
Sophie
Good for you stepping away from that job. You need to do what you feel is right for you no matter what everyone else thinks! That is so important! Solo hikes or not, I love your cool posts! xxx Hugs!
Brittany
Thank you friend! It’s been a great move.
Nikki
I can’t love this post more than I already do. This is SO perfectly said and SO true. I can totally relate with your phases of being unsocial AND social throughout my own life. And while at the moment I feel like I’m a good place, I know that things will change and need re-balanced at some point in time, but I feel like, once you go through those phases and changes, it makes it slightly easier to spot, and MAKE the change when you have that evaluation with yourself. Keep doin’ what is right for YOU! There is no one size fits all in life, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE when you said, “the only person you are hurting is yourself” when you are trying to please everyone and do what you think THEY think you should be doing.
Brittany
You are SO right that once it happens it’s easier to spot. I love reflecting on these times and finding the life lessons. It’s so easy to fall down a rabbit hole of wallowing, but I try my damnedest not to do this!! It’s somewhat fascinating how the mind works, like science! Thank you for sharing. ❤
Josh dV
It’s amazing what we put ourselves through. Glad to hear you are listening to yourself. Love you and grateful you are sharing your journey with us.
Brittany
THANK YOU for your continued support, sharing is caring! ❤ ❤
Lauren
You are an incredibly brave and amazing woman. I hope you know that I admire you immensely, and have since I came across your blog two years ago. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, and for spreading a much-needed message. I am so glad you’re walking down the path that’s right for you! I left the corporate world five years ago to work at the front desk of a spinning because I really needed that social interaction. There is no timeline in the game of life. You’re doing great. Xx
Brittany
Lauren, your comment brought such a smile to my face. Thank you for these words. It’s amazing how those that admire one another find each other. I love following your journey through life and YOU inspire me to get out and do more! Especially in our beautiful state. Thank you. ❤❤
Atheria
I think we’re twins.