Have you ever seen the show, “Monsters inside me” on TV? If you haven’t I will give you my cliff notes version of the plot. Basically it’s a show that reenacts true stories about people getting parasites inside their bodies either from eating something, swimming somewhere, laying somewhere filthy and so on. It’s quite frightening really.
One episode in particular haunts me to this day. A group of people traveled to Mexico and went out to eat at a local restaurant. They were all infected with a type of parasite that came from rat poop. The real kicker is HOW they got contaminated. SLUGS ate the poop, and crawled their nasty way all over the lettuce in the restaurants garden. The restaurant didn’t see the slug(S) and they were CHOPPED up with the lettuce and fed to the travelers. OH MY LORD.. if you’re a regular to my blog you’ll know slugs are my biggest fear. Keep this story in your short term memory, I’ll come back to it.
The other day I went for a hot, hilly, sweaty run. Upon my arrival home, my stomach had its mind set on one thing: A GIANT bowl of cold greens. (You know where this is going…)
Now let me just say, I had a garden last year. This garden was very successful, and one of the most successful things I planted was my Swiss chard. I didn’t harvested the chard on my own because I was always fearful of what I would find lurking in the leaves. One day I felt brave and decided to go get some chard..all by myself. MISTAKE! SMACK dab on the middle of the leaf I grabbed was a slug the size of a quarter. Needless to say I flipped shit.
I never harvested that chard again.
OK back to the other day. I had just finished mixing my bowl of spinach, chard, kale, and regular lettuce, this bowl was huge. Like bigger than my head huge.
Just as my broccoli was finished steaming I saw it. Right there on one of my kale leaves..was a slug the size of an uncooked grain of rice. Don’t ask me how I saw it, I have unbelievable slugdar (slug radar.) I froze. This bowl was too big to waste, I had to overcome this fear of mine, and eat the damn bowl of greens. I went through EVERY single leaf. Once I confirmed this was safe, I ate the entire bowl. Kale has some serious power.
Topped with mustard and nooch.
From watching that TV show, to finding slugs in my garden, I was bound to find one in the produce I purchased at the store. I never eat greens without the though crossing my mind, and the worst part is that I may have missed tiny slugs in the past because I didn’t see them. OHhhh the horror. I’m just glad I saw this one before my colon had to jump ship.
So what’s the point of this story? Kale (and other greens) aren’t only powerful inside your body to keep you healthy, they also are powerful over your mind and can help you overcome the disgust and fear from seeing your biggest phobia slime its way across your lunch. There was no way I was going to let that bowl go to waste.
20 minutes after my lunch I found this deserted snail shell. I thought it was cool..go figure.
Q: What’s your phobia? If it’s some kind of creature, would you eat food that you saw it crawling on? I think the hot run I went on fried my reasoning skills because I don’t know how I talked myself into eating that bowl…HAHA!
Blissfulbritt 
53 thoughts on “The Power of Kale”
Alyssa @ Road to RD
EWWW haha this story was horrifying! I’m definitely checking my salad bowl for slugs now!
Heather @ HeatherRunsFast.com
I had to stop watching that show because I was becoming paranoid, haha. My biggest phobia is roaches. Ugh, I shiver even typing that word. And H-E-double hockey sticks NO I wouldn’t eat anything I saw one crawling on. Possible stupid question… what is nooch?
Brittany
Nutritional yeast!! I am much too lazy to type is all out..haha!!
The Savvy Sister
While I would never do it intentionally….it IS extra protein I guess…
Alex@Veggin' Out
Well thank you, I don’t think I’ll ever eat greens again 😉 Hahaha totally just kidding, but I’m definitely going to be taking a magnifying glass to each and every leaf from now on! ANY bugs on produce kind of freaks me out. Especially those little worms… ewwww! That’s the one reason I sometimes buy regular old greens and herbs over organic – sometimes the chemicals seem better than slugs 😉
Meghan @ fitnesscrEATures
I. Would. Die. OH wow – that episode of that show is precisely why I’m scared to eat out when I travel to foreign places. YIKES! Haha, I love that you don’t harvest your chard anymore. You’re my hero for not wasting your bowl of greens, that would have been in the trash immediately had it been my bowl. I just can’t get over bugs + produce for some reason. But slugs? No friggin way. Have a lovely day – and I’m with Heather @ Heather runs fast – what is nooch?
Brittany
Seeeee her comment reply!! AND yes…slugs are the worst thing ever and I wish they were not on this earth!!
sincerelylily
OH MY GOWWWWWSH. This freaks me out crazy. I had no idea…. and I am one of those people that just ‘trusts’ grocery store stuff is washed and good to go 95% of the time and don’t wash it again…… ugh…… You do have slugar. I need to get some. I don’t want to have a family of them living in me ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
PS YOU ARE PRETTY.
Brittany
IT TAKES A PRETTY TO KNOW A PRETTY!! YUP you’re prettiest my friend!
chasingchels
Oh my goodness girl, this would be one of my worst nightmares for sure. I have a similar fear that I’ll find bugs or slugs or something in my veggies, so I always try to check! I don’t know if i could watch that show though haha…might never eat another vegetable again!
Erin
I am terrified of all bugs…especially preying mantises. Like oh my gosh I would seriously shit my pants if I saw one of those or accidentally grabbed one. And if I found any type of bug on my food I prob wouldn’t be able to eat the rest of it!
sugarcoatedsheridan
Oh. My. Lord. Never again will I look at a salad the same way!!! That’s insane!!
Britta
hahahahahaha! You are the funniest person I know! How do you watch these crazy, freaky shows? Okay, well I guess it would be super interesting and I would totally watch to see how they got the parasite – kinda reminds me of House (OBSESSED). Glad you were able to eat your heavenly bowl even though you saw a lil’ monster in there! Bugs freak me out in general (I’m such a baby), but I would have to say snakes…ughhh snakes. Cannot. Handle. Them. They are basically like huge slugs.. so we have something in common 😀
Brennan
Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. You have to not watch these shows!!! It’s gonna make you go bonkers! Honestly, the idea of there being a bug in my food doesn’t bother me. I mean, I don’t want to eat it, but I would be fine picking it out. I’m a champ with spiders, too. It’s snakes that make my stomach turn out. Oh… and grub worms. I guess that’s a bug. I actually puked once because I accidentally touched a grub worm. Yuuuuuuuuck.
Brittany
Bugs don’t bother me AT ALL, I pick up spiders with my hands to move them and same with most creepy crawlies..it’s just the slugs that get me BLUUGHH! I don’t mind snakes, but I wouldn’t touch one just in case it bites haha. Grub worms are nasty too…ew.
Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile
I looove Kale. I would have totally ate it too, stupid slug!! bahahah
P
I do not blame you one bit for this phobia! Anything is better than sharing your tummy with a parasite D:!!
Rachel
oh gosh that show lol I used to watch it allll the time until I realized I was getting too nervous about every thing going in me LOL some of the episodes are really disturbing lol and I think one of my phobias [now] is biting into a peach and seeing a bug.. sadly this has happened lol
Amy @ A Desert Girl
That show would give me nightmares and I would likely starve to death and die curled up in the fetal position because I’d be scared of EVERYTHING. So I probably shouldn’t watch it.
Eww. Eww. Eww. Kale has some kind of superpower, obviously.
I hate snakes. They’re my phobia.
Megan
I am obsessed with kale and eating it EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am petrified of bees. I am not allergic but I swell up like a balloon. Living with cats I pretty much pull hair out of every meal I make. It blows my mind how it is just EVERYWHERE. I am sure I have ingested a tonnn.
But um you are cray for eating that. I think if I saw a super creepy crawling like that I would rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse, throw out the piece the bug was on and then try to eat it. I know I would because I don’t waste but I would be skived out for a longgggg time.
Brittany
Cat hair consumes my life! HAHA in my mouth, all over my clothes, in my hair…it’s just inevitable! OMG I for sure threw out the piece with the slug, HELL no I didn’t eat that one!
Change of Pace
I could NEVER watch that show and sanely eat again! Good for you for not wasting the food and work you put into the giant salad bowl! Spiders are my biggest and most irrational fear. I couldn’t take one out of my food and then still eat it. I’m shuddering just thinking of that situation!
spectacuLAUR
OH my gosh. My biggest fear is spiders and if I saw one crawling on whatever I was eating I would probably have to have someone else go through the entire bowl and check the rest. There’s no way my fingers would be going on the bowl. UGH, it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. I’m glad you conquered your fear, though! I was proud of myself last night for being able to KILL a spider. I mean it took a broom, papertowels, washcloths, a shoe, and picture frame but I got it eventually!
Brittany
You go girl!! HAHA, I did NOT eat the piece with the slug, I had to have my mom get it for me. I then looked through each piece with my big girl pants on!
kelly @ racesrepsramblings
Umm.. so I didn’t have a fear of slugs but now I do! Holy cow that story about the travelers is insane. Like makes me want to barf insane. GAH!!! I’m proud of you for conquering your fear – go you!! Kale is totally worth it 🙂
Her Happy Balance
You are such a good storyteller! I mean I knew it was coming, but the build up was great haha 🙂 I especially like your slugdar. I now feel like I will meticulously clean my lettuce and other greens. The produce I get from the CSA usually has little grubs and things stuck in the curls of romaine etc. But I haven’t seen any slugs yet, I’ll be on the look out for sure! I have a huge ginormous fear of bugs. Almost all of them. Yikes!
cleaneatingveggiegirl
LOVE kale, especially in the form of kale chips! I actually sauteed up some kale last night as a part of my dinner and seasoned it with some Old Bay seasoning. It was mighty tasty! 🙂
pjsassifras
OMG! I am officially scarred for life just from this post. Ack! Kale is yummilicious, though. The Iron Spatula (here on Word Press) posted a great coleslaw with kale in it. Check it out.
kathy @ vodka and soda
my worst fear.
when i was in italy, i was at a really fancy restaurant during our last night in rome and i was so excited to eat this amazing salad and when i lifted my first bite of leaf, A GIANT FUCKING SILKWORM WAS HANGING OFF WITH WEBS OF SILK AND SHIT ALL UNDERNEATH. i screamed as if i found a finger in my food which might as well have been because it was equally disgusting. they rushed to our table and offered to remake it to which i was like: HELL NO i’m not hungry anymore! so they credited the food and gave me drinks for free that night.
Brittany
EWWWEWEWEWEWEWWWW! No…just no. I would need 10 shots of vodka to even look at the salad.
Courtney
AHHHHHH this is so scary! Bees and wasps freak me out 😦
Amy
OH MY GOSH that’s so creepy!! We were JUST talking about that rat poop disease last night! No joke. So weird! And you should be SO proud that you overcame your fear!! It’s really hard to do that, especially when it comes up unannounced and unexpected, like the slug in your kale. Way to go, Brittany! 🙂
Emily
OMFG WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THIS. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m so grossed out, but I’m so glad you spotted the little guy. Ew. Today at work/internship I was sitting at my desk and saw something fall to the floor next to me and it was a FREAKING WORM AND HE FELL OUT OF THE AIR-CONDITIONING VENT RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD. I almost cried. This story is related to yours, I swear.
Bunny Eats Design
Slugs love my garden. I think they eat more of our produce than we do. All our kale, bok choy and much of our lettuce has gone to slugs, snails and caterpillars. For some reason though, they weren’t interested in the swiss card.
I did buy some slug killing/repelling pellets but I didn’t have the heart to use it. Having toxic stuff anywhere near food freaks me out. More than slugs.
Nicole @ FruitnFitness
Oh that story gives me the chills in a freaked out kind of way! I hate bugs, slugs are for sure at the top of the gross bug list! Growing up on the farm where I kept my horses they had an apple tree. I was the girl who would cut the nasty rotten and bug spots off before feeding the horses.
Colin DeWaay
Thanks, now I’ll be thinking about it too! LOL Love kale though!
Sarah @ Feeeding the Brain and Body
Ugh, slugs gross me out too. I found a maggot in my soup once, every since maggots have been my biggest fear. (and I don’t eat canned soup with potatoes)
Jan @ Sprouts n Squats
I am so scared of spiders I hate them!!! If I ever saw it on my food not only would I not eat it I would run screaming in the other direction. Even little ones give me the heeby, jeebies!
Melissa @ Mouthwatering Morsel
gahhh I never thought of it … now I’m going to want to look at all my greens. bleughhhh haha
Lisa
Oh my goodness I had the SAME thing happen to my kale, but it wasn’t a slug it was a freaking spider!!! I almost died right on the spot, it was horrifying and now all I picture when I look at kale are giant spiders. It’s almost turned me off of eating it for good. Ick. This is the problem with produce, since obviously there are bugs outdoors where the veggies grow, but it seriously irks me out if I see them in my food.
katalysthealth
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
My sis had the SAME thing happen, except she almost ate the slug! She was eating her greens and looked down at her fork and saw that the slug was actually ON her fork! She had picked it up with the leaves! bkhdbfkbfrpogf
GROSS!!
Rach @ This Italian Family
O_O
You are so much braver than I am! Slugs are a huge fear of mine. Just thinking about it makes me sick. The worst part is knowing that I have probably missed them when cleaning produce in the past. Oh man… I am so not ready to deal with this, haha!
HappinessSavouredHot
I don’t think I have any phobia at all, and certainly not for little bugs. 🙂
When I lived in Africa I once ate ants!!! And scorpions were everywhere. Slugs are wonderful next to that. Everything is relative I guess. 🙂
I’d go for such a huge bowl of leafy greans any time. 🙂
GiGi Eats Celebrities
DUDE!!!! DID YOU INSTAGRAM that picture of the kale!!!! It’s sooooooooooo green!!! OMG OMG! And you know my thoughts about kale?! Remember my kale sweeping?! LMFAO!
When we visit each other, we will make kale chips and butternut squash!!! WAHOOOOO We have a huge BUCKET LIST TO WORK ON MISSY!
Brittany
YES YES YES to all of this!
GiGi Eats Celebrities
OMG STORY……… I was eating at a restaurant I frequent on the regular…. And ordered my usual mixed chicken concoction… And well, when I was diving in…. I picked up a bite and HOLY HELL A FU********** HUGEEEEEEEEEE SPIDER crawled out! I flippppped out! FLIPPED OUT and ran away!!!!! The restaurant was sooo sorry, but they didn’t even COMP ME MY MEAL. They just made me another one – and said, “oh well, our greens are really fresh” — Needless to say, I don’t go back very often anymore!
Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets
So long as you didn’t find the deserted snail shell in your now empty bowl of greens….
I used to have the same phobia about eating bugs, but as you know, I get my greens through my weekly CSA share, and I always pick at least one snail/slug/bug like creature off of them before I even start washing it all. They’re usually not the size of a quarter though. More like a tic-tac. I try to think of it like it must be real food if the bugs like it too. You don’t see them swarming around a box of processed junk. Mind over matter, right.
Now silverfish or house centipedes are an entirely different story. Google it if you don’t know, but be prepared to run away from the screen in horror.
An Unrefined Vegan
This is something I cannot tolerate: opening a bag of flour (or rice) and seeing that webby shizz that pantry moths make. Of course, I’ve ingested hundreds of the little buggers, but it makes my stomach turn when I actually see evidence of their existence.
gracegetslost
Hahahahahahaha!!! I would have loved to see the look on your face when you saw that snail… Classic.
Khushboo Thadani (@KhushbooThadani)
This is going to come as a shock to you but I have a major cat phobia..just the sight of them makes me want to run a mile- crazy I know!!
Penny Parsnip
I was glad before that I didn’t have cable tv, but now I am REALLY glad, because I can’t watch that scary show.
I am afraid of giant cockroaches. In NYC, people call them waterbugs, and in the South they are palmetto bugs. But they are just big scary giant roaches! Twice now, one has gone flying out of my bath towel when I got out of the shower and I was trapped in the bathroom with the monster.
The Healthy Flavor
Oh my gosh…cracking up at all these comments!! That is so disgusting!! Man, I can’t believe that was on there from produce from the store…ewwwwwwww! You crack me up! I don know if I’d still eat it after that. I hate all bugs, hate them. My biggest freak out give me a heart attack fear is snakes!! Totally scare the sh!t out of me!
Rosie
I have some baby kale growing in a pot but notice some slug slime on the leaves are usually get rid of those…. notice little holes in the other leaves… I soak all my veggies in salted water I understand this may kill the buggers!