Fair | Blissfulbritt

Every year I go to the county fair with my best friend. Every.single.year. The game plan has always been the same, get a wrist band in order to ride sketchy rides all day long. I like to get my money’s worth, and going to a fair or a theme park isn’t cheap. Therefor I like to stay all day long and suck the park dry. This year started out no different than the last, and I looked forward to the fair all week long.

This is what I’d look like as the smartest farm animal.

In all my years of adolescence I’ve been proud of my strong stomach, and my willpower to go on rides until the park closed. I should have known something was changing when I was the one that requested to leave the water park last month. Manfriend was prepared to continue on for a few more hours, but I pulled the plug and wanted to go eat. Who am I?

Right off the bat at the fair my stomach started to flop. The very first ride had me feeling funny. I tried to tell myself it was the toothless smiles I received from the carnival operators, but it was indeed the ride.

I ignored the sensation and continued on. Ride after ride and the puke feeling only grew. Once my other half started telling me she had a headache and her back hurt I knew what was happening. We were turning into old ladies. Gone were the days of rolling with the middle school kids (we had to be the oldest people at the fair without children.) We continued on though, until finally I needed something to eat.

Slim pickings for vegans at the fair, but I had my heart set on these curly fries since last year. I am proud to report that basket went into the trash empty. With only a slight amount of help from my homegirl, I polished off the entire batch. Spinning rides and a stomach full of grease called for a mellow next hour. Time to look at the farm animals. I have been obsessing over chickens for the past month, and I have found two new types I MUST HAVE.

Two chickens representing two different eras. On the left we have 1970’s chicken proudly sporting a full head of hair in the Afro puff. On the right we have 1990’s chicken proudly sporting the punk rock grunge look. Must have both.

I think my favorite ride of the day was the children’s roller coaster that went no faster than 2mph. It was shaped like a worm.

Either this or the fun house, both of which went easy on my stomach. I am a sucker for the funky mirrors in the fun house. No where else can you distort your body image in that many ways. I take that back, Photoshop is pretty powerful too.

Be careful little girl, on the left is what you’ll look like if you keep eating Cheetos.

Overall my day at the fair was fun and eyeopening. Gone are the days of my 15yr old body enjoying the spins of county fair rides. My 23yr old body needs more mature rides like roller coasters and towers of terror. Good thing I leave for DLand on Wednesday!!!! YAHOO!