Over the last couple years I’ve become very content spending a lot of my time alone. This is nothing new, as I have been blogging about my solo adventures for quite some time now. To put it bluntly, I’ve found there are very few people I actually want to spend my time with.
With that said, the rare times I do spend with other people I am very picky about who those people are. My time is valuable to me, and I don’t have the energy to spend time with people that don’t add anything beneficial to my life. We all deserve quality connections.
I don’t say this to be harsh, I say it to be real.
After visiting the Starbucks corporate office, my two gal pals and I headed North to hike Rattlesnake Ridge, a hike I’ve done multiple times now. Leave it to me to suggest a hike as part of our activities.
I adore these girls to pieces, but they are both leaving me very soon. One is moving to another Starbucks about 15 miles away, and the other is moving to another Starbucks (and school) in IDAHO! 😦
I don’t have a lot of friends, but I have quality friends and that’s what matters most to me. The kind of friends that you can go months without seeing, and pick up right where you left off.
It’s also necessary for me to spend my time with people that understand/accept my personality, and that share similar interests. Friendship is like dating – the ones that don’t mesh well, don’t evolve and end up in a split. It also helps when they’re equally as quirky.
The point of this post was not to allow me to ramble, but simply to highlight the fact that like most things in life: quality over quantity.
I am quite content with my balance between alone time and time spent with others. I wouldn’t change anything about where I’m at!
Q: Do you prefer spending your time in large groups with a lot of people, or being more selective on time spent with others? I don’t mean like a party, because that’s a different situation. Just in general everyday friendships.
48 thoughts on “Quality Over Quantity”
And this, “To put it bluntly, I’ve found there are very few people I actually want to spend my time with.” is how/why I know you are my long lost roomie and friend. I feel the same way. Moving to a new state and starting over has stripped me of my friends and social connections. I need to trust the process and know that “my people” will come in time, I can’t force it. And I sure as hell don’t want to attract crazy or unhealthy folks into my life.
Bunny Eats Design
I am an introvert. I love people but social occasions wear me out and I need time alone to recharge. I think as you get older, you realise that you just don’t have time to make the effort to keep people in your life that are a drain. Surround yourself with people that make you happy.
I often hear my friends complain that it is hard to make friends as an adult. I don’t feel like this is true. You just get more picky.
kathy @ vodka and soda
i have a great circle of friends but only a few i really spend time with. like you, i prefer quality over quantity.
Matt @ Runner Savvy
Total introvert here. I LOVE my alone time!
Heather @ HeatherRunsFast.com
Quality over quantity applies to so many aspects of my life! I have quite a few friends (who are more like acquaintances to be honest), but only a handful who I consider good friends and actually want to see on a regular basis. I LOVE my alone time, hence why I typically run alone instead of with a group. I think we’d be friends in “real life” 🙂
I KNOW we would be real life friends, I totally love my blog babes!! We would have the best time going on some outdoor adventures and then eating cake the size of our faces. You’re really the only blogger that comes to mind when I think of someone on my level when it comes to cake, you may even have me beat!! I LOVE IT.
I am totally with you on the quality thing. I have very few that are very close to me. Sure there are plenty of people that it is nice to “run in to” but very few I seek out to spend my time with.
P.S. I love your life!
I’m very selective about how and who I spend my time with, although you’d definitely make the cut. There’s only a handful of bloggers on my bucket list and you are at the top my dear. Introverts unite…separately.
I couldn’t agree with you more, in fact I find I “get along better” with a few bloggers despite having never met them than I do with real life friends. It’s a bizarre idea, but I know you’ll get it. You’re at the top of my list too, and when the list is able to be check marked (cause I know you’re all about that organization with the lists) it will be a day to go down in history.
I totally agree with this! Humans are naturally social creatures but being so we are each affected so much by the personality and mood of the other being in the relationship. Our happiness and life satisfaction is so dependent on who we spend our time with. There’s not reason so spend any time longer with people who aren’t worth your time than is absolutely necessary. This is how I feel about family get togethers…no longer than is absolutely necessary haha
GiGi Eats Celebrities
YOU KNOW MY THOUGHTS ON THIS.
I AM ALSO SOOOOOOO HONORED THAT YOU ALLOW ME TO HANG OUT WITH YOU EVERY DAY… IN YOUR BACK POCKET nonetheless. It’s like I am grabbing your ass every day! LMFAO!
That looks like a beautiful hike. I have a few people I like being close with, and I prefer small groups to large ones.
Polly - TastyFoodProject.com
I used to be the type of person that liked to have lots of “friends” but as I get older, I am more selective with who I share my life with. I totally understand where you’re coming from when you say you prefer quality over quantity. I would rather spend my time with genuine people that actually care about me than a bunch of people that are just acquaintances.
Davida @The Healthy Maven
I’m the exact same way!!! I actually find I am overwhelmed by too many people. Last weekend I was up at a good friend’s cottage and 25 other people were there. I had to go take a breather! Then again, my friend group has multiplied thanks to blogging…although I can ignore these friends if I want to 😉
Blogger babes are a whole separate category. I feel closer to some of my blog friends (even if we’ve never met in person!) than I do to some real life friends! HA.
Life After Swimming
I love your friends philosophy! I have about 5 friends from growing up that I still keep in contact with but I rarely get to see them since I moved from home. As for friends where I live, there are only about 3 that I actually find worthy of my time. That makes me sound so conceited, but like you, if they aren’t making me a better person, they are not really worth it…
I agree with you 110% – quality in friends over quantity. I’m like you and spend quite a bit of time alone and have a few selective friends that I get together with. Honestly, my book club once a month is my big friend shindig! Love these pictures and can’t wait to see you in like 1.5 months! ekkkkkkk SO CLOSE :):):) friends reunite!
YOU are considered one of the FEW people I would LOVE SPENDING my times with, which is exactly why I AM SPENDING MY TIME WITH YOU SOSOSOSO SOON! ❤
Amy @ A Desert Girl
I’m selective about who I spend my time with too. I recently read MWF Seeking BFF and it began me thinking a lot about friendships. They’re important – but you can’t have a friendship just for the sake of saying it’s a friendship. it’s even more important that it be a genuine friendship with give and take from both parties. I’m sorry two of your friends are moving away. 😦
I like spending time with a small group of friends. Like you, I don’t have many but the friends I do have mean the world to me.
The Vegan 8
Nailed it! This is precisely why I can can’t on my hand how many real friends I actually spend time with…or better yet, ones that I want to spend time with. I still am in contact with people from high school, but they aren’t people I actually see or do things with. I’ve had the very same best friend since the 1st grade and 3 other close friends that I see often that I’ve known for over 10 years, and that’s pretty much it! I honestly just don’t have a strong desire to have a large group of people to hang out with. I’m extremely independent and have found the more friends you have, the more issues you have. Keep it small, keep it simple. I’ve been backstabbed and really hurt by so called friends in the past, so I’ve learned to keep my circle of friends small.
Amen to this post. Everything you said totally resonates with me. I have a few friends, and they are all quality. I feel like having a high quantity of friends just causes drama for a lot of people, you know? Anyways, thanks for this post! I love the pictures. Again, the PNW is gorgeous!
Rach @ This Italian Family
That last shot… just beautiful! I definitely enlarged it. 🙂
You know, this is a complicated question for me. I’ve always had lots of friends, but I love those super close friendships. Since I was in high school and all through college and continued into adult life, I’ve always had lots of friends. It’s easy for me to move in and out of different social circles so within each of those groups of friends, there is a person or two who I become especially close to. So I probably have 30ish good friends here in Memphis that I hang out with frequently in group settings, but like 5 Memphis besties who I really invest in relationships with. Hopefully that makes sense, haha!
This makes complete sense, and I totally get it!! You have such a bright spirit it only makes sense that you have a nice collection of TRUE friends, not just acquaintances.
An Unrefined Vegan
Not a group person at all. I prefer hanging solo or with one or two other carefully selected friends. Definitely quality over quantity.
Amen to this post girl. I don’t have many friends. Ok actually, I have 1 that I see and hang out with. I have a few others that I play soccer with [my team] but we don’t mesh very well off the field [they are single and partiers, I’m married and not into that life loll] so I have my best friend and that’s pretty much it. Ive got some friends at church as well, but I don’t hang with them unless Ninja and I are double dating with them and their hubs. Like you, I prefer quality to quantity, that being said, Id be wrecked if my best friend ever left me!
Choc Chip Uru
I have my friends but there are only a few in my intimate circle – I agree with quality over quantity any day 😀
And I love alone time sometimes as well!
Choc Chip Uru
Amanda @ .running with spoons.
Love it, lady! And I couldn’t agree more. I feel like I have a lot of acquaintances, but few true friends. I’d much rather spend my time alone than with people who I don’t 100% click with, especially since I’ve learned to be perfectly comfortable in my own company. I’ve pretty much always been this way, though… I’m an only child and spent a lot of my growing up years lost in my imagination, either playing alone or reading books… and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way
Food, Booze, & Baggage
The last picture is gorgeous!! I believe in quality over quantity and tend to only have a hand-full of very close friends. It’s hard finding a good balance at times.
I have the exact same approach to friends. I’m an introvert and love/need/crave time alone, but I also need my friends too. And they have to be ones that understand and love me and all of my quirks. I’m quite a quirky person, so those people are far and few between! Partially why I hang out with my family so much. 😉 I’ve actually started to reconnect with a lot of my friends from high school, and I hadn’t realized just how close we really were. To be able to pick up exactly where you left off 6+ years later… Now that’s a friendship worth having. I hope you’re able to find some new friends once these lovely ladies move away!
That is very honest of you to say and quite true that quality trumps quantity. Sorry you are going to miss your buddies,
Quality over quantity any day! I enjoy spending one on one time with a close friend most. I love leaving somewhere feeling uplifted and fulfilled, and not exhausted from trying to socialize with too many people at once.
Thought of you when I was on a solo hike the other day!!!
LOVE this. I hope your hike was fantastic, love that you went alone!! 🙂
It was fabulous, thank you 🙂
Khushboo Thadani (@KhushbooThadani)
I couldn’t agree more! I find that the older I get, the more I value friendships that add something to my life rather than having as many friends as possible!!
That first picture of you is breathtaking!!!! Beautiful! I definitely relate to valuing alone time, although I don’t get much of it. However, over the years I’ve become very particular about who I spend my time with. It seems the older I get, I really just want to spend time with family….my own little family and extended family. I still value all my dear friends, but don’t seem to make the time like I used to!
I think once I have a family my time will be almost 100% spent with them. The occasional friend hangouts and special getaways will be necessary too, but family and significant others will always outweigh others for me!
quality over quantity is such a good life motto. i’m blessed with a lot of amazingggg quality girlfriends who i really love to pieces, and it’s funny that i read this today bc just last night i was texting with one of my very very dearest girlfriends in the universe who lives in Colorado, across the country from me, and we were expressing these same sentiments. PS i still think we’d be real-life friends. 🙂
TOTALLY agree. This title relates to life on so many levels.
Lucie Elizabeth (@CollectingLight)
I totally agree with you on this one Brit – I think you become a part of the people you spend your time with. You pick up on their habits and values so making sure you don’t spend time with people that sap your energy is important x
I am the EXACT same way! I don’t have many friends but it’s really okay with me because I want the people I befriend to have a real connection with me and not just be there so I can say I have a lot of friends. I’ve come to really treasure my independence and alone time and at the same time, stay close with the few people I truly enjoy spending time with.
I agree! Quality over quantity. Same goes for a lot of things in life. But friends for sure. Glad you have two great ones that you can hang out with you. Sucks they are moving but hey, at least that means you have vacation plans. 🙂
Luv What You Do
I couldn’t agree more!
I am at a place in my life (a few weeks from turning 33) where I surround myself with people who add to my life. It may not be as many as when I was 13 but the quality is second to none!
” don’t have a lot of friends, but I have quality friends and that’s what matters most to me. ” – that’s what matters. i have this deep-seated belief that we would become very fast friends. i would probably call and call and call even if you didn’t want to hang out with me though… 😉
Umm, what a gorgeous place to hike, in the first place! I feel like friendships that are truly, truly close for me have been very few over the years. And I treasure them all the more because of that. But I’m okay with spending time and enjoying the company of casual friends, too–I am a little extroverted and I like people even when they don’t really ‘get’ me.
I totally clicked to enlarge and wow. Please make a print of that (landscaped) and hang up somewhere in you home.
Quality is always better than quantity… even when it comes to peanut butter. I thought about it… it was a hard one but at the end of the day I’ll take a spoon of no added oil or sugar crunchy PB over a whole jar of gummy transfatty creamy JIF anyday of the week.
Pretty photos, Britt, I’m so happy that you spent quality time with friends! I prefer spending my time with few friends because large groups can get a bit overwhelming for me!
Christina Does It All
I just said recently something about friendship quality over quantity in one of my posts! We are blogging soul mates or something. And as always, lovely pictures!